Category - Blurbs

BLURB: The Magic Basket – In Performance: Lights Slowly Rising – The Journey Begins

The Magic Basket – In Performance, is a dramatic staging, written in prose, in a poetic styling. It is the beginning of the very long saga of Robert Langer; and his experiences with The Prospector and his collaborator, Basil, among so many others, in his journeying within, and even outside of, the always-amazing and enlightening Magic Basket.

Well, that explains a lot. Thanks.

BLURB: The Watertown Nightmare

Meet the Clarkson family who has been through a lot having gone through a paranormal event that nearly took their lives and also without knowing having it plastered on the internet and t.v. now they just want to leave their old life behind and start a new but the evil entities that haunted them seem to follow them where ever they go.

Dude, take a breath.

BLURB: The New World: Crimson Winter

“The New World” book series, by Andy Skrzynski, is a creative, science-fiction adventure depicting the life-and-death struggles on Earth after an apocalyptic period between 2019 and 2025. If you enjoy a thrilling tale full of suspense, action, a touch of romance, and a crazy twist here and there, “The New World: A Step Backward,” “The New World: Blue Moon Generation,” and “The New World: Crimson Winter” will help you escape your current world worries. The action’s so real and descriptive you’ll feel as if you’re alongside Thoruk, his loyal friends, and the younger generation as they fight warriors and a myriad of vicious creatures stalking the villagers of Ukkiville in the nearby forests, lakes, and mountains near the turn of the next century.

Would you call that a “hard sell?”

BLURB: A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam

This book is specifically written for non-Muslims to help them better understand Islam. Some of the topics in this book are: – Evidence that Islam is a true religion. – Proofs that the Qur’an is the literal word of God. – Scientific miracles in the Qur’an with scientific illustrations. – Why Muhammad is truly a prophet sent by God? – Some benefits of Islam. – General information on Islam. – Pillars of faith. – Correction of some misconceptions about Islam. – The status of women in Islam. – What Islam says about terrorism. Features of the book: 43 illustrations (39 in color); 76 colorful pages on glossy, coated, 115 gm paper; Laminated 350 gm cover; High quality printing; More than 375,000 copies have been printed.

I don’t think those contents are what people expect when they see that title. (Also, doesn’t the combination of “illustrated” and “Islam” earn you a fatwa?)

HeteroSexual Chaos

HeteroSexual Chaos

It’s a toss-up whether the cover is worse than the blurb. (h/t Aurora)

Twenty-four Poetic Short Stories embedded with sparks of life drama and humor, about relationships. They can get really messy.

Think through a box, rather than its outside, understanding life fully; with both an inside and outside perspective. Why restrict your subconscious? Good luck, you need it.

BLURB: Immortal Law of Consciousness Creation: Lawsuit Against the Creator God

Immortal Law of Consciousness Creation, Lawsuit Against the Creator God, can be considered as the deepest esoteric information and truth in existence. This book, contains an explanation of Immortal Law in the greatest detail possible. This information does not exist within any other book or website; nothing even slightly compares to the truth of Immortal Law. It is truly groundbreaking, new information that exists no where else, because I have spent years to build this wisdom from the ground up. I spent years thinking about Immortal Law; discovering all that would be the necessary guideline laws to achieve immortality for all of consciousness.
Immortal Law dictates that the the only way for consciousness to be created is within the highest of moral standards; in order to prevent the possibility of pain, suffering, death, enslavement, or any form of evil against consciousness.

Five bucks, and all this could be yours.

BLURB: East Beach

Rod a demobbed Navy officer finds himself alone in a new flat he bought for married life with a girl who left him for another man. As a background to this he joins a small local sailing club and finds a friend with another bachelor called Bill. Lonely and frustrated he falls in with Rose a rich nymphomaniac who owns a large luxury yacht. While she is sexy, demanding and beautiful she is dominated by her sadistic Captain who she and Rob have to avoid,

Yeah, that sentence ended in a comma, but there was no way I was going to post another paragraph. (h/t Sydney)

BLURB: The Submarine Full of Bees: A Bedtime Story For Kids Aged 5 to 10

This story is a little bit different from other stories. Usually stories are about other people but this story is about you. And usually stories are made up but this story is all true. It’s about the amazing underwater adventure you had today with those bees.
I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking: I didn’t have an adventure with any bees today!
Oh yes you did! But you can’t remember because that magic flower made you forget.
Let me explain …

Yes, convincing children not to trust their own memories has always been a swell plan.