Category - Admin Stuff

Regarding William Allen Lasher and his novel Unlawful Presence: A Killer Robot Thriller

Just when you think that William Allen Lasher cannot prove himself to be any more of an ass…

I received a copy of this DMCA Takedown Notice through Cloudflare (not my actual webhost, but my Automatic Platform Optimization (APO) provider, who would forward it to my actual hosting provider as well as send me a copy):

Dear Cloudflare:

I’m a construction contractor and writer. I hired Lorenzo Sperlonga to create original artwork for my novel “Unlawful Presence: A Killer Robot Thriller.” You can find it on Amazon.

Lorenzo is a world-famous artist who’s done covers for Playboy, Penthouse, and Heavy Metal magazines. He created the cover for my novel on canvas and sold me the rights to use the image online for a considerable sum of money. Lorenzo still owns the original painting.

I came across a malicious website in my novel’s search results called lousybookcovers.com. The website not only stole the image but they also are libeling the artwork, the book, and me in a malicious manner.

The “lousy book covers” page in question needs to come down immediately. It is a blatant violation of the DMCA and is not “fair use” as the website owner claims. If it is not removed, I will notify Mr. Sperlonga and his attorney, and together, we will take civil action against the website owner and hosting company. The malicious nature of said website makes this an extremely serious issue. Damages claimed could be in the millions.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Truly,

William A. Lasher

William, you are an ass. You are an ass from top to bottom, left to right, inside and outside.

You claim to be a writer, but here’s a word you use without understanding: “Libel.”

Nothing I posted was malicious or libelous. I said nothing untrue about the cover (which is pretty much THE DEFINITION of “libel”), and I said nothing at all about you or the novel itself. I simply didn’t think the cover was good. THE END.

Of course now, having had personal interaction with your fetid self, I can say from actual experience that you are a festering boil on the anus of humanity, without the sense that God granted an inbred paramecium. You went on a frothing tirade, claiming all sorts of “clever” things about my background, talents, sexuality, etc., and then you had the temerity to claim that MY post was malicious?  If you ever become cognizant of the ludicrous irony here, the weight of it will probably crush your    (It’s okay, you can go and look up the big words. I’ll still be here when you get back.)

How is it not “fair use,” Billy-the-Shithead? Because you WAAAAAAAH don’t like it? Aw, gee, wipe your sniffles and pull up your big-girl panties.

But hey, if it makes you feel all manly like you have half a functioning gonad, go ahead and threaten attorneys. I HAVE ONE. Pull me to court, and I will make sure that your your flabby ass is paddled for all the world to see.

Bring it, Loser Boy.

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to post any hate mail here, but this makes up for the drought in a big way.

First up, the inestimable William Lasher, who expresses in the clearest terms (and in several successive missives through my cover submitter yesterday ) his displeasure at my having dared to criticize the cover of his book Unlawful Presence.  I shall take the opportunity herewith to make my responses, such as they are.

Name: William Lasher

Comment: Hello: This has to be the most lame website I’ve ever seen and I can’t believe anyone is stupid enough to waste their time creating it.
Whoever you are, you’re a complete turkey and you can go fuck yourself with your trolling of the original Lorenzo Sperlonga artwork on my cyberpunk book,
Unlawful Presence.
FYI: Lorenzo did more covers for Heavy Metal magazine than any other artist in history.
You’re a real bottom feeding asshole and you can eat shit with your asinine website.

If you’ll look at the original post (that’s Unlawful Presence: A Killer Robot Thriller by William A. Lasher with cover art by Lorenzo Sperlonga, just to get the full Streisand Effect), you’ll note the my original comment, plus the thread beneath it, are fairly harmless as this site goes. Can you imagine how much of his shit he’d lose if he were really unloaded upon?

Name: William Lasher

Comment: You really are a fucking lowlife scumbag. Where do you live, anyway? Under a bridge in New Jersey?

Ah, yes. Because anyone who pokes low-level fun at him is obviously every human weakness rolled into one. (But New Jersey? That’s low, man.)

Name: William Lasher

Comment: Send me your name and address so I can sue you for defamation you fucking scum bubble.

Wherein Mr. William Allen Asher demonstrates he knows absolutely nothing about defamation suits. Actually, it’s worse than knowing nothing; what he thinks he knows is wrong. Honestly, does he think he can sue me for not liking his cover?

Name: William Lasher

Comment: I spent $2,000.00 hiring a world famous artist. Who in the fuck do you think you are with this pigeon-shit website shitlips?

I think I’m someone free to have an opinion. I also don’t froth at the mouth like an absolute moron when anyone’s taste or opinion differs from mine.

Name: William Lasher

Comment: You should reply to me, asshole. Your website is internet garbage and I would like to find out more about you.

Yes, I’m sure that you want to get a deeper understanding of my hopes and dreams. It feels so great to be wanted.

Name: William Lasher

Comment: You think insulting a world famous artist with your little commenter clones makes you cool or something? It makes you look like the lowlife fuck that you are. Why don’t you send me a reply, asshole.

I should point out that all of the messages so far were received in my email inbox within half an hour. Somehow, the fact that I didn’t drop everything else going on in my life to respond to a blithering idiot having an internet meltdown infuriates him all the more.

Name: William Lasher

Comment: You’re a bug splat on the internet windshield, asshole.
Your website is a bad joke. Go ahead and send me a reply, you lowlife coward.

Does this suffice, Billy? Or is a public display of your absolutely moronic tantrum more evidence of my “cowardice”?

Name: William Lasher

Comment: I got it, you’re a butt ugly green haired dyke with a snot covered nose ring. You get a thrill by degrading a world famous artist who has more money in his change jar than you’ve ever made in your pathetic life. Go ahead and send me a reply fuck face.

My lord, the (absolutely wrong) assumptions being displayed here necessitate more facepalms than I can give.  And I just bet that Lorenzo Sperlonga truly appreciates having his name associated with yours.

William Lasher is showing himself to be a truly pathetic simulacrum of a functioning human being.

Name: William Lasher

Comment: Go ahead and write back fuckface. My dog’s morning crap has more intelligence.

You know, it’s not like any of these “Oh, this is what I SHOULD have said” afterthoughts really adds anything.

Would YOU trust this person to operate heavy machinery?

Name: William Lasher

Comment: Sex sells on the internet, faggot. Snarky trolling is the Texas sized pile of garbage in the middle of the Pacific. You’ll never get anywhere in life and blaming successful people for your ineptitude won’t make it better.
Go fuck yourself, moron.

Oh, so you’re “successful” now? Then why are you having such a hissy fit when some “moron” on the internet disagrees with you? Why don’t you just light another cigar from a hundred-dollar bill and forget it?  In my experience, actual successful people don’t start foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog when someone doesn’t like their output.

You, William Lasher, are an insecure, bitter, smallminded man. I don’t hate you. I don’t even hold you in contempt.  No, I honestly pity you.  But I pity even more anyone who is forced to abide your company.

But wait, there’s more!

About two hours after Mr. William Lasher had lost the ability to type and had to resign himself to simply beating his Neanderthal brow on his keyboard, I got the following message (in triplicate, no less):

Name: Big Nig

Comment: Hey white trash mother fucker:I’m sending 3 niggers over to break your computer and stick yo fucking head in the toilet where it belongs. Fuck your racist white trash ass.

Seems like using such consistently racist language while berating me for my supposed racism doesn’t really strengthen his case, does it?

Now, the IP address isn’t the same as with Mr. Lasher’s lashings-out, but the bogus email address entered bears a certain resemblance to some of the bogus email addresses Lasher mixed in with more legitimate-looking ones.  I have no conclusive proof, but it certainly seems plausible that William Lasher — who certainly looks white in his Amazon author photo — is here masquerading as a violent, racist African-American.  Which certainly seems racist to me.

(Oh, and by the way, it’s “white trash gun owner” to you.)

Hey y’all,

Sorry if posts are showing up willy-nilly (for instance I know that New Cover For Old Day XXX has shown up a day early). My post scheduler has decided to play by its own rules.

Also, in case you were wondering, yes, the new format the Amazon started using this week for some ebook previews IS a bother to work around. But I endeavor to persevere.

Sorry, y’all. I was experimenting with several plugins to reduce load time for the site, and one “lazy load” plugin was apparently interfering with site functions. I think it’s all fixed now.