Baptism & Other Rituals: Eighteen Short Stories

Baptism & Other Rituals: Eighteen Short Stories

I have no idea what I’m looking at, but I’m glad it’s on fire.

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Brad
Brad
2 years ago

It seems like it’s a grill – so, either it’s a “baptism by fire” or “grill your children”…

Hitch
2 years ago

How much you want to bet that this is one of those cover concepts, where the author said “Oh, you know, people will click on it, just because it’s WEIRD and they don’t know what it is!”

If I could wipe out one form of cover daftness, with a click, it would be that one. I mean, when’s the last time that they clicked on something bizarre, just to see what it is? And remained to BUY it? (Answer: never.) Or if someone does, it’s in lieu of the 25 people who would have clicked, had the cover been something useful and appropriate.

Zsuzsa
Zsuzsa
2 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

I’ll admit that I’ve clicked on some of the weirder ones on this site out of sheer morbid curiosity, so maybe it works if your cover is bad enough to get featured on LBC. On the other hand, the number of purchases I’ve made from that is zero; usually, the blurb and sample just confirm my already low opinion.

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Zsuzsa

Well, exactly. If someone’s judgment, on marketing is THAT BAD, you can bet your bippy (showing my age, I know) that their ability to self-edit is equally abysmal.

We hear that all the time, on the KDP forums, or here, or at CC.com. I don’t understand the thinking, I really don’t. Nathan, you remember the guy…what, a year or so back, with the bizarrely out-of-tune cover, that seemed to think that “yup, once they read it, they’ll get it?” and was SOOO huffy here?

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

Yeah. I can’t think of his name, either. It was bizarre. I mean, not that that’s unique here, either, (bizarrity, that is) but he was adamant that his incredibly bland, uninformative, almost LitFic cover was somehow the right cover for his book. Everybody here TRIED to help him, pointing out what he could do, but he just refused to hear it. Some folks just can’t get there from here. Sad, really.

Zsuzsa
Zsuzsa
2 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

Are you thinking of this one?

https://lousybookcovers.com/?p=1887217

Mr/Ms “I know my cover and book are brilliant because it has been illegally downloaded a lot”?

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Zsuzsa

YES. That one. (he still has never explained how he “knows” that it’s been illegally downloaded “a lot.” A fact that defies the knowing of it, mind you.)

You guys won’t believe this, Just today–like 1.5-2 hours ago, I had one of our customers use this exact argument–that because his cover was strange and different, (and you can’t tell what it is, unless you already know what it is!) people would click on it. I was floored. it’s as though I had jinxed my shop by commenting on it at oh-dark-thirty this morning!

I just…I don’t think that there’s any successful counterargument to that, really. I’ve given it a lot of thought and if someone is willing to go to that extreme to justify using a wholly inappropriate and indecipherable cover…whatcha gonna say or do, to save him or her from his/herself? Nothing, that’s my take.

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

Well, my brother, it hasn’t, so far. Maybe, someday, it might. I mean…I said this upthread, but who here ever clicks on really awful covers, OTHER THAN to recommend them for this site?

Who has the time, today, to go off on some sojourn, to see what some new author was thinking, about a book?

And who–as I said to Mr. Smith there–will take the time to bother to “discover” a book when the author has clearly gone out of his way to use a cover that is designed to NOT APPEAL to anyone?

I’m sorry to rant, I really am, but I get SO frustrated. It’s a bit like that one author I had, that insisted he’d written “experimental fiction,” when the reality was, he didn’t know from beats, scenes, action/reaction, dialogue tags, punctuation, etc. So…he decided that he’d call it “experimental fiction” and see if he could get someone to buy it. After all, somebody, somewhere, bought James Joyce, amirite? (sigh). And of course, 4 paragraphs into it, you were completely and totally lost. No idea who was speaking, when….it was sad. I tried to get him to work with an editor. I did, I swear. I still feel horrible about letting that one escape into the wild.

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

Nah, they’re not stoopid. The problem that I see is that people are lured by the idea of writing a book, right? I mean, it’s just typing, how hard can it be? And then they find out it’s much, much harder than it looks, but they persist.

I give them mad props for that persistence. Odin bless anyone that finishes a 50K-word manuscript. I mean it. BUT…here’s the thing. Nobody, nobody, nobody wants to do that million-words thing. Nobody wants to have written 10-15 book manuscripts, before they publish their first. Like all humans, instant gratification is their thang!

The “bad’ side of self-publishing, that I’ve seen, is that it’s removed those former barriers–the requirements that you’d go to writing courses, use critique groups and writing groups and writing buddies, go to conferences, and get that invaluable feedback on what you’re doing. So now, we see the first manuscripts published left, right and center. There are no governors, no guardians at the gates. I’m not saying that they were the end-all, be-all; But they definitely forced writers to struggle through and write more words than they do today, pre-publishing. And now, there aren’t any governors, that prevent John Doe from doing whatever he wishes, as soon as he wishes.

I get to hear the tears, all the time, at the various self-publishing forums. They can’t believe that someone savaged their book, or said that they can’t write, or, or or. Or that their cover is awful. It’s bloody hard to watch. All their friends and family told them (naturally) that it was brilliant, that it was great and they are woefully unprepared for what happens next. I’m serious–it’s hard to watch.

Brad
Brad
2 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

Yeah, but Hitch – can you just send them to Gary L.M. Martin now? He’ll set ’em straight and he won’t pull punches! 🙂

Hitch
2 years ago
Reply to  Brad

LOL, OMG….the thought!