I will save you! As I look inside, I see Chapter one is written in present tense. Opening line: “It is a bright and sunny day….” Much better than “It was a dark and stormy night….” doncha think? Especially after all these cold and snowy mornings…. (Argh, my eyes! My eyes!!)
At least I didn’t get info dumped on in the first sentence, which was the case with almost every LBC book I peaked in, and I HATE being info dumped on (yeah, I wasn’t planning to, but now I had to look inside). And then the relatively good first impression was ruined as the author kept forgetting in the dialogue tags he was writing in present tense. I have to admit it took me a minute to notice–you know when you get that feeling that something is off, but can’t quite figure out what? That’s NOT how you want your reader to feel. BTW, the problem with the “dark and stormy” sentence is the atrocity that comes after the dark and stormy part, where the author has amazingly managed to incorporate the semicolon, the em dash and the parentheses in one single brilliantly awful sentence. So at least this author here knew when to stop with the damn sentence.
Double wow, people pay thousands of dollars to self-publish with that company. It’s nice to see what thousands of dollars buys. (To be fair, though, not all packages include cover design.)
Even sadder. This author spent those thousands of dollars to get his book published by Trafford back in late 2011 and even spent an extra 2K for that gold seal package that includes “professional reviews”, and yet there are NO reviews on Amazon for the book. Absolutely zero in over 3 years.
To quote from Trafford-
“With the Gold Seal Premium, you get:
Premium Review Service from the US Review of Books (plus submission to the Eric Hoffer Awards)
The opportunity to have Trafford’s Gold Seal of Literary Excellence stamped on your cover once you get a positive review. You can also use the Gold Seal on other marketing platforms like your book’s website
Booksellers Return Program for 2 years
A Single Slot Ad in Ingram’s Advance Print Catalog
Publicity Plan – NetSpeak Edition”
The poor guy got suckered for another 2,000 for NOTHING! Almost want to give him sympathy review after having lost so much money to these scam artists.
Sorry, got off topic there. This is about the COVER, not the insides or how a fool and his money were parted.
Although I feel sorry for the author, I must say the cover is a confusing mess: chains, lobster claw, sunglasses, floating in space, medals pinned to a sports bra, and golden-award space saucer with its two golden poops trailing it. Not good at all.
Sounds to me like the “publisher” makes money from authors desperate to see themselves in print, but does not spend much of that money actually promoting sales. Or doing good salable book covers, if this is an example.
I have read that people who know how to make their own professional grade PDFs of their book text and cover design and how to handle their own promotion and sales have used Trafford as a printing service and are apparently satisfied. (If I wanted to self-pub and could create pro PDFs and do sales, there are print services for the indie small press a lot more economical and less pretentious in my opinion.) Trafford apparently is not what some newbies seem to expect them to be: a full service publisher. First clue in traditional publishing: the money flows from the publisher to the author; it does not flow from the author to the publisher. That much have I learned. But a Print-On-Demand service that offers a medallion on the cover and tags ‘Amazon best selling author’ on books with Amazon sales rank at #11,677,471 for Book 2 and “The Coming of Marshal” at #10,260,156 — makes me scratch my head. Amazon Top 100 in Books (#1-#100) is bragging rights; lower than N*** P******? Shush yo mouth.) Boy, have I drifted off-topic.
From what I understand, it’s not unusual for traditional publishers to get reviews for the books they publish, that’s part of their job. That’s where the “‘Another real page-turner’ SUNDAY TELEGRAPH” on the Reacher book I’ve just read comes from, for example. So, it does sound legit at first thought. But, if this mess got the seal, which means they had to get a passing review first, I can only conclude that they’d give a passing review to a cart of manure if someone paid them.
Trafford is indeed part of Author Solutions, the country’s largest vanity press, which does business under so many aliases as a way to suck in more customers.
In spite of their size, if this is an example of the covers they offer, you are better off letting your Middle Schooler do the drawing.
Oddly enough, the award pisses me off. I mean, WEALLY? And $2K? Honestly, I can’t figure out what that was FOR. (And yeah, so, we’re OT. It’s worth discussing. May save some other poor sucker down the road.)
For real scary stories (so scary you’ll only want to read them with the lights on) check AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler, search: Trafford.
Catie
9 years ago
So, let me see if I understood this correctly: for $2k you get a little mostly meaningless gif to paste on your cover, but not a decent editor or a cover designer? How does that insure any kind of quality of the product you put your “Mark of quality” on? For $2k, I could probably get a decent cover artist, cover designer, content editor, copy editor and a proofreader. Ok, maybe I’m stretching a bit, but I could certainly get more for that money than this mess here got. This reminds me of that Allouette’s Song or whatever it’s called, where they cried how the “publisher” ruined their already questionable cover art, and the inside of the book is so badly formatted that each paragraph is in a different font for no reason: serif–sans serif–serif–sans serif… Which is just mind boggling. I’m guessing there are a lot of these so called publishers praying on the inexperienced and naive newbie writers. But hey, if you’re getting into business of (self) publishing your work, and it IS a business, you should get familiar with the basics of that business before you blindly jump in. In today’s world when there’s Google even on your phone and your phone is glued to your hand, there is no excuse for ignorance. There are endless blogs on the subject, books, videos, workshops, all just a few clicks away. So if you do get swindled because you couldn’t be bothered to get informed, it’s your own damn fault.
Namaan, Catie: oh, I *know.* We get these refugees all the time. I had a client (we’re an ebook-formatting [but we don’t offer cover design] company) that didn’t know we did print, so he went to another company for his WWII bio, in print, with a few images. They suckered him for *$6K.* yes, you read that right, SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS. Poor guy. Worse, they gave him an unusable–literally, unusable–ePUB and MOBI file. I (privately) wrote to the person involved, the company that took his money, and I scolded them for doing this to this elderly man, who is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet (and sadly, trusting as hell). I took that pigsty book and fixed it, for a whopping $100 (took us two dozen manhours to fix it into some semblance of usability). That a$$hole threatened to SUE ME for “defamation.” A guy who ripped off an elderly WWII *hero.* (Silver Cross recipient). Even though *I* was fixing his work, for essentially nothing. Yup, that’s classy.
It drives me insane that these “publishers” exist, raking in this type of dough from those who don’t seem to have the research skills to discern what they *really* need to spend. I had another client–emailed me Saturday–to tell me he was going with “XYZ Publishing” for his new trilogy (again, in print). They were going to whack him THOUSANDS. THOUSANDS! And he even said, he didn’t need their marketing, which is what they’re pimping. When I politely reminded him that WE do print, also, he seemed inordinately relieved.
Honestly, it’s so frustrating, I don’t know how to address it. Sure, you can blog about it, writing cautionary FAQ articles…but people have to be willing to find them and read them, first.
URGHGHGHGHG. Y’know, for some modest dollars for formatting, and the same for a cover design, a good author can do very well for herself. Throw in a decent round of paid editing, after a good critique group round or two…and you’re on your way. I really wish people would SLOW down, and not cave in to that instant gratification urge. Take the critique group/writing course route first. Then do a paid edit (after 2-3 self-revisions with the group); then do paid formatting & cover design. THAT would get them SO much “forrader” than this type of scheme.
And, vis-à-vis the awards: we (my company) was a top-5 finalist, fiction, reflowable, at the #DBW2015 Digital Book Awards this year. The only Indy book in the finalists–the others were BPH’s. When these “paid” book awards, like the one on this cover, cheapen real ones…it really makes me MAD. I wonder why I should bother displaying our finalist status; after all, isn’t EVERYBODY some type of “award-winner” today, or “best-seller?”
Yeah, there will always be harpies praying on those without the proper research skills, unfortunately. He was lucky to have someone like you to watch out for him. But that’s the bright side of the internet: on every harpy there are hundreds of indie authors ready to help out. So many blogs, forums, workshops, Facebook groups, twitterlings, even critiquing sites filled with people willing to help with just about anything. Even on this place, where we basically make fun of things, when the offended author comes calling us “bunch of fags sucking each others cocks” people actually try to give some helpfull advice instead of responding in kind. If you’re young enough to use the internet, and you want to be a professional author, hanging out in the right circles among other writers is a must. Joining critiquing sites, doing NaNoWrimo even if it’s not really your thing, that’s part of the job. Run with the right crowd, and the chances are much smaller you’ll end up with a bad publisher, bad book deal or a bad cover. But some people just don’t see writing as a skill that needs developing or publishing as a business that needs mastering and they think they don’t need anybody’s help. If you don’t have the money and are choosing the DIY route there are plenty of resources out there that can help you. Smashwords has a decent if a bit lengthy formatting guide, and I think I saw one on Amazon too. There are plenty of cover tutorials out there, although design is not exactly a skill you could pick up in a day. There are critiquing sites for the content, you can find beta readers, critique partners… Even with no funds at all you could still produce a passable product these days. That’s why every new LBC shocks me anew. Some people don’t even bother with the basic tutorials. And these authors, they are so protective of their work they’re eager to come here and defend it but they’re not nearly as eager to make it appealing for everyone else and improve it when someone points out a flaw. I’ll never understand that mentality.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/cover143.jpg)
Everything on it, from the title to the imagery is complete nonsense. I wonder what’s it like inside.
I feel obligated to warn you not to do that.
What is up with the random lobster/crab claw?
You know…it’s so bad it’s actively funny. I, too, like Catie, almost feel (I said, ALMOST!) compelled to look inside. LOL….
I will save you! As I look inside, I see Chapter one is written in present tense. Opening line: “It is a bright and sunny day….” Much better than “It was a dark and stormy night….” doncha think? Especially after all these cold and snowy mornings…. (Argh, my eyes! My eyes!!)
At least I didn’t get info dumped on in the first sentence, which was the case with almost every LBC book I peaked in, and I HATE being info dumped on (yeah, I wasn’t planning to, but now I had to look inside). And then the relatively good first impression was ruined as the author kept forgetting in the dialogue tags he was writing in present tense. I have to admit it took me a minute to notice–you know when you get that feeling that something is off, but can’t quite figure out what? That’s NOT how you want your reader to feel. BTW, the problem with the “dark and stormy” sentence is the atrocity that comes after the dark and stormy part, where the author has amazingly managed to incorporate the semicolon, the em dash and the parentheses in one single brilliantly awful sentence. So at least this author here knew when to stop with the damn sentence.
OMG.
Look! The author “won” (bought) an award!
Wow, a review arranged by the company the person self-published with, if I am reading this correctly: http://www.trafford.com/GoldSeal.aspx.
Double wow, people pay thousands of dollars to self-publish with that company. It’s nice to see what thousands of dollars buys. (To be fair, though, not all packages include cover design.)
That little seal alone costs over $2,000! Trafford/ Author Solutions is quite the money maker.
Even sadder. This author spent those thousands of dollars to get his book published by Trafford back in late 2011 and even spent an extra 2K for that gold seal package that includes “professional reviews”, and yet there are NO reviews on Amazon for the book. Absolutely zero in over 3 years.
To quote from Trafford-
“With the Gold Seal Premium, you get:
Premium Review Service from the US Review of Books (plus submission to the Eric Hoffer Awards)
The opportunity to have Trafford’s Gold Seal of Literary Excellence stamped on your cover once you get a positive review. You can also use the Gold Seal on other marketing platforms like your book’s website
Booksellers Return Program for 2 years
A Single Slot Ad in Ingram’s Advance Print Catalog
Publicity Plan – NetSpeak Edition”
The poor guy got suckered for another 2,000 for NOTHING! Almost want to give him sympathy review after having lost so much money to these scam artists.
Sorry, got off topic there. This is about the COVER, not the insides or how a fool and his money were parted.
Although I feel sorry for the author, I must say the cover is a confusing mess: chains, lobster claw, sunglasses, floating in space, medals pinned to a sports bra, and golden-award space saucer with its two golden poops trailing it. Not good at all.
Last I read, the Trafford package deal includes TWO (dos, zwei, II, 010 octal) WHOLE HOURS’ work on the cover.
Sounds to me like the “publisher” makes money from authors desperate to see themselves in print, but does not spend much of that money actually promoting sales. Or doing good salable book covers, if this is an example.
I have read that people who know how to make their own professional grade PDFs of their book text and cover design and how to handle their own promotion and sales have used Trafford as a printing service and are apparently satisfied. (If I wanted to self-pub and could create pro PDFs and do sales, there are print services for the indie small press a lot more economical and less pretentious in my opinion.) Trafford apparently is not what some newbies seem to expect them to be: a full service publisher. First clue in traditional publishing: the money flows from the publisher to the author; it does not flow from the author to the publisher. That much have I learned. But a Print-On-Demand service that offers a medallion on the cover and tags ‘Amazon best selling author’ on books with Amazon sales rank at #11,677,471 for Book 2 and “The Coming of Marshal” at #10,260,156 — makes me scratch my head. Amazon Top 100 in Books (#1-#100) is bragging rights; lower than N*** P******? Shush yo mouth.) Boy, have I drifted off-topic.
From what I understand, it’s not unusual for traditional publishers to get reviews for the books they publish, that’s part of their job. That’s where the “‘Another real page-turner’ SUNDAY TELEGRAPH” on the Reacher book I’ve just read comes from, for example. So, it does sound legit at first thought. But, if this mess got the seal, which means they had to get a passing review first, I can only conclude that they’d give a passing review to a cart of manure if someone paid them.
Isn’t Trafford an ASI imprint?
Trafford is indeed part of Author Solutions, the country’s largest vanity press, which does business under so many aliases as a way to suck in more customers.
In spite of their size, if this is an example of the covers they offer, you are better off letting your Middle Schooler do the drawing.
Oddly enough, the award pisses me off. I mean, WEALLY? And $2K? Honestly, I can’t figure out what that was FOR. (And yeah, so, we’re OT. It’s worth discussing. May save some other poor sucker down the road.)
For real scary stories (so scary you’ll only want to read them with the lights on) check AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler, search: Trafford.
So, let me see if I understood this correctly: for $2k you get a little mostly meaningless gif to paste on your cover, but not a decent editor or a cover designer? How does that insure any kind of quality of the product you put your “Mark of quality” on? For $2k, I could probably get a decent cover artist, cover designer, content editor, copy editor and a proofreader. Ok, maybe I’m stretching a bit, but I could certainly get more for that money than this mess here got. This reminds me of that Allouette’s Song or whatever it’s called, where they cried how the “publisher” ruined their already questionable cover art, and the inside of the book is so badly formatted that each paragraph is in a different font for no reason: serif–sans serif–serif–sans serif… Which is just mind boggling. I’m guessing there are a lot of these so called publishers praying on the inexperienced and naive newbie writers. But hey, if you’re getting into business of (self) publishing your work, and it IS a business, you should get familiar with the basics of that business before you blindly jump in. In today’s world when there’s Google even on your phone and your phone is glued to your hand, there is no excuse for ignorance. There are endless blogs on the subject, books, videos, workshops, all just a few clicks away. So if you do get swindled because you couldn’t be bothered to get informed, it’s your own damn fault.
Namaan, Catie: oh, I *know.* We get these refugees all the time. I had a client (we’re an ebook-formatting [but we don’t offer cover design] company) that didn’t know we did print, so he went to another company for his WWII bio, in print, with a few images. They suckered him for *$6K.* yes, you read that right, SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS. Poor guy. Worse, they gave him an unusable–literally, unusable–ePUB and MOBI file. I (privately) wrote to the person involved, the company that took his money, and I scolded them for doing this to this elderly man, who is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet (and sadly, trusting as hell). I took that pigsty book and fixed it, for a whopping $100 (took us two dozen manhours to fix it into some semblance of usability). That a$$hole threatened to SUE ME for “defamation.” A guy who ripped off an elderly WWII *hero.* (Silver Cross recipient). Even though *I* was fixing his work, for essentially nothing. Yup, that’s classy.
It drives me insane that these “publishers” exist, raking in this type of dough from those who don’t seem to have the research skills to discern what they *really* need to spend. I had another client–emailed me Saturday–to tell me he was going with “XYZ Publishing” for his new trilogy (again, in print). They were going to whack him THOUSANDS. THOUSANDS! And he even said, he didn’t need their marketing, which is what they’re pimping. When I politely reminded him that WE do print, also, he seemed inordinately relieved.
Honestly, it’s so frustrating, I don’t know how to address it. Sure, you can blog about it, writing cautionary FAQ articles…but people have to be willing to find them and read them, first.
URGHGHGHGHG. Y’know, for some modest dollars for formatting, and the same for a cover design, a good author can do very well for herself. Throw in a decent round of paid editing, after a good critique group round or two…and you’re on your way. I really wish people would SLOW down, and not cave in to that instant gratification urge. Take the critique group/writing course route first. Then do a paid edit (after 2-3 self-revisions with the group); then do paid formatting & cover design. THAT would get them SO much “forrader” than this type of scheme.
And, vis-à-vis the awards: we (my company) was a top-5 finalist, fiction, reflowable, at the #DBW2015 Digital Book Awards this year. The only Indy book in the finalists–the others were BPH’s. When these “paid” book awards, like the one on this cover, cheapen real ones…it really makes me MAD. I wonder why I should bother displaying our finalist status; after all, isn’t EVERYBODY some type of “award-winner” today, or “best-seller?”
Yeah, there will always be harpies praying on those without the proper research skills, unfortunately. He was lucky to have someone like you to watch out for him. But that’s the bright side of the internet: on every harpy there are hundreds of indie authors ready to help out. So many blogs, forums, workshops, Facebook groups, twitterlings, even critiquing sites filled with people willing to help with just about anything. Even on this place, where we basically make fun of things, when the offended author comes calling us “bunch of fags sucking each others cocks” people actually try to give some helpfull advice instead of responding in kind. If you’re young enough to use the internet, and you want to be a professional author, hanging out in the right circles among other writers is a must. Joining critiquing sites, doing NaNoWrimo even if it’s not really your thing, that’s part of the job. Run with the right crowd, and the chances are much smaller you’ll end up with a bad publisher, bad book deal or a bad cover. But some people just don’t see writing as a skill that needs developing or publishing as a business that needs mastering and they think they don’t need anybody’s help. If you don’t have the money and are choosing the DIY route there are plenty of resources out there that can help you. Smashwords has a decent if a bit lengthy formatting guide, and I think I saw one on Amazon too. There are plenty of cover tutorials out there, although design is not exactly a skill you could pick up in a day. There are critiquing sites for the content, you can find beta readers, critique partners… Even with no funds at all you could still produce a passable product these days. That’s why every new LBC shocks me anew. Some people don’t even bother with the basic tutorials. And these authors, they are so protective of their work they’re eager to come here and defend it but they’re not nearly as eager to make it appealing for everyone else and improve it when someone points out a flaw. I’ll never understand that mentality.
And I definitely don’t get the ‘Amazon best selling author’ tags. What does that tell me, exactly?
It tells you:
Product Details
Publisher: Trafford Publishing P.O.D. (September 28, 2011)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,677,471 in Books
The hero is a Federation marshal but everyone calls him “Marshal” as though that were his name. Or is he Marshal Marshal?