The Jade Owl

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The Jade Owl

Many thanks to DED for pointing out this author’s back-catalog to me. It should provide us with hours (well, minutes) of enjoyment.

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Catie
Catie
9 years ago

How to hide the fact you suck at Photoshop? Just throw a filter over it and no one will be able to see. Like, anything.

edward C. Patterson
edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

Only a certified Photoshop master (which I am) could pull out all the stops for such a brilliant catastrophe. People in the group who know me, know I pride myself on obliterating the norms of book covers. You should see me in a purple bathing suit, only I look terrible with bathing suit, so I usual go without.

edward C. Patterson
edward C. Patterson
9 years ago

Why this is one of my BEST lousy covers and the book sells well (My flagship book). I might add, I just published my 24th today and the covber is particular wretched. With overall 53,000 copies of various lousy book covers in circulation under my tutelage, I wish to blind my readers with my dazzling effrontery. (BTW, I’m blind in one-eye, so I should only do half-covers, cyclops that I am). I love being part of this group and am in good company with all thouse other Lusy book covers.

Edward C. Patterson

L.
L.
9 years ago

In your defense, Eddie (may I call you Eddie?), the cover for your latest Southern Swallow book isn’t as cray-cray as all the others.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  L.

I’ll have to do something about that – lol, and you can call me Eddie or Blanche – I’ll answer to all (and none).I once stated here on this thread that my covers have a certain anti-marketing vision (I was a Director of Marketing in my Middle Age years). I took for my example the Cruikshank road, the one he paved for Dickens (Books perse didn’t have cover art then, but serials did). Despite this, I still have some of my readers sat they love my covers, all of which ruins my day. As a pioneer in Indie Publishing (even in my own book on the subject) I show authors how to create awful covers with no overhead and teach them that earnig readership from the inside out not the outside in.

Karl
Karl
9 years ago

Can’t tell if joking, trolling, angrily sarcastic, honestly clueless, genuinely warped, or mentally ill.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  Karl

Mentally ill sounds about right. But the novels are a great read nonetheless.

LydiaFCG
LydiaFCG
9 years ago
Reply to  Karl

Definitely joking, IMO. Which I’m enjoying by the way. Brave as well for stopping by to say hello.

gp
gp
9 years ago

Ooh! It’s like Where’s Waldo. I found Waldo! So excited.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  gp

My readers love to name the 5 characters they find, but there’s a 6th (a Cherokee Indian with sunglasses – Griffen Jones). We play the game in the next book in the series also, but then I go to “name that scenery.” There are 5 books in this series – 3,200 pages.

PS: The glamoru womandepicted is . . . a drag queen named Simone DeFleurry (he’s really Simon Geldfard from Brooklyn).

Sirona
9 years ago

I see Joan Rivers, Justin Bieber, Dennis Weaver, Nancy Kwan, and a leathery old woman. What do I win? And don’t say this book!

Joe
Joe
9 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

A jade owl. One that looks as angry as the one on the cover.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

You missed the Indian – well, I’m a native american – and you didn’t miss me.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago

You don;t want to win that Owl. It can rip your flesh off.

Sirona
9 years ago

Okay. Found the Indian. He’s sandwiched between Nancy and leathery old woman. He looks rather under-nourished. I don’t believe he’ll make it to the sequel.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

Not only does he make it to the sequel (in all 5 books), he’s in my latest (24th Novel) The Sapphire Astonishment published yesterday. That cover is not a Lousy as the others, unfortunately, but to Photoshoppers everywhere, I’ve included some flaws. BTW, my book on publishing and throwing together bad covers just went viral in Aistralia overnight on a FREE promotion – so expect losts of material in the coming days.

Sirona
9 years ago

TMI. You really need to self-edit.

Edward C. Patterson
Edward C. Patterson
9 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

I’m enjoying being engaged by the group. I’m in the group too. I’m surprise other authors haven;t joined in for their covers. I’ve been meaning to invite them in.