I like to look some of these up to see how they are doing. One review, and zero sales.
It’s not always the cover’s fault – sometimes they hide decent stories which people discover in SPITE of them. It’s the blurb and/or opening pages that draw them in.
Mostly, though, the ridiculous covers warn us that the author is clueless:
“All alone in Argentina, with only a guardian angel, a broken heart and an abundance of beer for company.
The nameless tourist (Kris says: this ain’t good.) travels through a blur of smoky bars, sexy señoritas, lucky escapes and magnificent mountains, guided by signs and the mysterious 11:11 Phenomenon.
His destination? 21/12/12: the beginning of The New Age.
This true story is told in a tangle of twisted timelines. Snippets and snapshots with bustling city and small town backdrops.”
Well, I’m a pretty thick skinned guy, so I’ll take the comments about my book cover on the chin. And I don’t usually reply in defence to any comments about my work, as I respect people’s opinions, but for once, I just can’t resist.
Reason being: I changed the cover from the first (awful, had given little thought to) cover to the present one above around June time, just as it was picked up here. So, I thought it worth mentioning that since the new cover was born, I’ve gained 21 ratings on Goodreads with a 4 point average, and 8 great reviews on amazon.co.uk (oh, how easily the Americans forget .com isn’t used everywhere!), and 11 reviews now on amazon.com.
So, I guess I must’ve done something right with the cover.
Man, for once I just feel like blowing my own trumpet. It’s a unique book, with a unique cover. It’s absolutely a true story. And it’s eff all like the Celestine Prophecy! It’s more along the lines of Desolation Angels. Perhaps, if the full blurb of my book had been given, readers would see it’s called ‘a mind, body, spirit book with sex, drugs and reggaeton’, then the cover may have resonated with such book covers as Generation X and the Penguin Classics; which inspired it.
I’ve a history in writing, but even more so in art. I’ve got a BA Hons and exhibited an the Royal Academy I’ll have you know! 🙂
Though, hell, the bottom fonts look unavoidably blurry in some pics, which annoys me endlessly.
Route Number 11 is pink all the way baby!
I don’t mean to bang on- but thought I’d add my thoughts into the mix, for readers to come to their own opinions.
Though, of course, if I find a thousand people are on your side, I might have to admit I was wrong…
I Just ain’t. 🙂
Waffles
9 years ago
Harry.
You have used Comic Sans in your design.
End of debate. Sorry.
Anything is automatically lousy if it uses Comic Sans.
red
9 years ago
“the cover may have resonated”
It might have, but I think it’s more of a klunker.
There should also be some unicorn ponies to go with that pinkish Comic Sans.
What’s the big deal with using comic sans to convey comic and bounce?
But fair enough!
Believe it or not, I do value criticism over my writing and art.
Right, next book: unicorns and more pink with the main title in Comic Sans it is! 🙂
Waffles
9 years ago
Criticism? Yes. I can do that. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but this cover needs a bitchslap.
There are so many poor choices here that it is absolutely boggling. it looks like you made t his cover hideous on purpose, but even if that was the case it is not hideous enough to be a parody of hideous covers.
Comic Sans is the most hated font in the history of typography. It is the most hackney, overused, misused, and common piece of font you can find. If you use it you appear to not only be seven years old, but a seven year old with no taste that somehow has time traveled here from 1978 and handed head first into a stack of bricks.
That pink is so bright, that it almost hurts to view. Is that what you really want? A cover that hurts to look at? How is that a good design idea? How does that sell your book? I can barely look at it long enough to provide this helpful (albeit snark ridden review).
What is with the ‘route number’? Did it forget that text set up that way should be Typed on a Path and not stretch via the warp tool?
To really sell the next completely offensive cover, since that seems to be what you are going for and proud of… it is time to Go all out. Horrible bad choices? You bet you can do better than this! Make this as offensive and awful as you can!
I suggest that you kick that pink up another notch. Make it actually blind people who don’t wear sunglasses. Change that generic title font to Papyrus and for goodness sakes give it some bevels and a drop shadow!
That highway is a little bare. Dress Hitler, Mussolini, and Justin Bieber in leather bondage gear bikini briefs, and have them riding the unicorns, jousting each other with the aid of giant neon green dildos. Be sure to use low res images of all three, with watermarks on them if possible.
Then resubmit it here proudly.
red
9 years ago
“What’s the big deal with using comic sans to convey comic and bounce?”
Comic Sans is the official font of the “God particle” and apparently this guy, too: http://www.vatican.va/bxvi/omaggio/index_en.html
(there are invisible page-turner buttons at the left and right sides).
I like simplistic old school designs within this overload of vampire whore sheen polished dazzling fonts and images world we live in. But that’s just me. And you’d be amazed at how hard it is to make a thumbnail get someone’s interest on the lists of millions. And plenty of people dig the pink!
With regards to resolution factors, I do need help, and I’m only just beginning to learn of the bad reputation of Comic Sans, so point taken.
Since the writing is damn good… imagine how many more sales you could have if the cover didn’t look like this!
This is what I will never understand. I can understand someone being proud of their work, but when someone is so adamant that their work is great even if it clearly needs help, boggles me.
Reality check. This cover is bad. It needs help. It is hurting your sales. It is hampering your success. If you had a nicer cover, (heck it can even be bright pink, just get it professionally done) then you would get exponentially more sales! Why are you hurting your own chance of success because you are stubborn about this cover?
Get over yourself! Get off your high horse! Admit defeat. Ask for help. Accept that help. Be a BIGGER success.
Side Bar: Don’t blame Twilight and shiny vampires for your cover sucking.
Have you seen the standard cover for Twilight?
Black Background. Simple font. Hands holding an apple.
That is it! It is simple and amazing!
Karl
9 years ago
“Never use Comic Sans” might sound like an arbitrary rule that hoity-toity graphic designers use to ridicule non-graphic-designers (it isn’t, but it might sound that way). So let’s sidestep that issue. A broader issue is that the cover sucks. It looks lame and amateurish, like something that a 10-year-old would throw together. It’s garish and ugly and clumsy, without looking in the least like it’s *deliberately* garish and ugly and clumsy. There is nothing about it, no element of it, that looks like it was deliberately put there to achieve a desired effect. It just sucks, sucks, and sucks.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/cover158.jpg)
Needs more pink…nothing says Argentina and alcohol better than pink.
I like to look some of these up to see how they are doing. One review, and zero sales.
It’s not always the cover’s fault – sometimes they hide decent stories which people discover in SPITE of them. It’s the blurb and/or opening pages that draw them in.
Mostly, though, the ridiculous covers warn us that the author is clueless:
“All alone in Argentina, with only a guardian angel, a broken heart and an abundance of beer for company.
The nameless tourist (Kris says: this ain’t good.) travels through a blur of smoky bars, sexy señoritas, lucky escapes and magnificent mountains, guided by signs and the mysterious 11:11 Phenomenon.
His destination? 21/12/12: the beginning of The New Age.
This true story is told in a tangle of twisted timelines. Snippets and snapshots with bustling city and small town backdrops.”
True story? Not buying it.
I smell Celestine Prophecy rip-off. And CP was crap, so, you know, as the cover goes, the book follows.
Well, I’m a pretty thick skinned guy, so I’ll take the comments about my book cover on the chin. And I don’t usually reply in defence to any comments about my work, as I respect people’s opinions, but for once, I just can’t resist.
Reason being: I changed the cover from the first (awful, had given little thought to) cover to the present one above around June time, just as it was picked up here. So, I thought it worth mentioning that since the new cover was born, I’ve gained 21 ratings on Goodreads with a 4 point average, and 8 great reviews on amazon.co.uk (oh, how easily the Americans forget .com isn’t used everywhere!), and 11 reviews now on amazon.com.
So, I guess I must’ve done something right with the cover.
Man, for once I just feel like blowing my own trumpet. It’s a unique book, with a unique cover. It’s absolutely a true story. And it’s eff all like the Celestine Prophecy! It’s more along the lines of Desolation Angels. Perhaps, if the full blurb of my book had been given, readers would see it’s called ‘a mind, body, spirit book with sex, drugs and reggaeton’, then the cover may have resonated with such book covers as Generation X and the Penguin Classics; which inspired it.
I’ve a history in writing, but even more so in art. I’ve got a BA Hons and exhibited an the Royal Academy I’ll have you know! 🙂
Though, hell, the bottom fonts look unavoidably blurry in some pics, which annoys me endlessly.
Route Number 11 is pink all the way baby!
I don’t mean to bang on- but thought I’d add my thoughts into the mix, for readers to come to their own opinions.
Though, of course, if I find a thousand people are on your side, I might have to admit I was wrong…
I Just ain’t. 🙂
Harry.
You have used Comic Sans in your design.
End of debate. Sorry.
Anything is automatically lousy if it uses Comic Sans.
“the cover may have resonated”
It might have, but I think it’s more of a klunker.
There should also be some unicorn ponies to go with that pinkish Comic Sans.
What’s the big deal with using comic sans to convey comic and bounce?
But fair enough!
Believe it or not, I do value criticism over my writing and art.
Right, next book: unicorns and more pink with the main title in Comic Sans it is! 🙂
Criticism? Yes. I can do that. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but this cover needs a bitchslap.
There are so many poor choices here that it is absolutely boggling. it looks like you made t his cover hideous on purpose, but even if that was the case it is not hideous enough to be a parody of hideous covers.
Comic Sans is the most hated font in the history of typography. It is the most hackney, overused, misused, and common piece of font you can find. If you use it you appear to not only be seven years old, but a seven year old with no taste that somehow has time traveled here from 1978 and handed head first into a stack of bricks.
That pink is so bright, that it almost hurts to view. Is that what you really want? A cover that hurts to look at? How is that a good design idea? How does that sell your book? I can barely look at it long enough to provide this helpful (albeit snark ridden review).
What is with the ‘route number’? Did it forget that text set up that way should be Typed on a Path and not stretch via the warp tool?
To really sell the next completely offensive cover, since that seems to be what you are going for and proud of… it is time to Go all out. Horrible bad choices? You bet you can do better than this! Make this as offensive and awful as you can!
I suggest that you kick that pink up another notch. Make it actually blind people who don’t wear sunglasses. Change that generic title font to Papyrus and for goodness sakes give it some bevels and a drop shadow!
That highway is a little bare. Dress Hitler, Mussolini, and Justin Bieber in leather bondage gear bikini briefs, and have them riding the unicorns, jousting each other with the aid of giant neon green dildos. Be sure to use low res images of all three, with watermarks on them if possible.
Then resubmit it here proudly.
“What’s the big deal with using comic sans to convey comic and bounce?”
Comic Sans is the official font of the “God particle” and apparently this guy, too: http://www.vatican.va/bxvi/omaggio/index_en.html
(there are invisible page-turner buttons at the left and right sides).
So the next time you hear thunder . . .
Well… I did ask!
I like simplistic old school designs within this overload of vampire whore sheen polished dazzling fonts and images world we live in. But that’s just me. And you’d be amazed at how hard it is to make a thumbnail get someone’s interest on the lists of millions. And plenty of people dig the pink!
With regards to resolution factors, I do need help, and I’m only just beginning to learn of the bad reputation of Comic Sans, so point taken.
Shame. The writing’s damn good! 🙂
Since the writing is damn good… imagine how many more sales you could have if the cover didn’t look like this!
This is what I will never understand. I can understand someone being proud of their work, but when someone is so adamant that their work is great even if it clearly needs help, boggles me.
Reality check. This cover is bad. It needs help. It is hurting your sales. It is hampering your success. If you had a nicer cover, (heck it can even be bright pink, just get it professionally done) then you would get exponentially more sales! Why are you hurting your own chance of success because you are stubborn about this cover?
Get over yourself! Get off your high horse! Admit defeat. Ask for help. Accept that help. Be a BIGGER success.
Side Bar: Don’t blame Twilight and shiny vampires for your cover sucking.
Have you seen the standard cover for Twilight?
Black Background. Simple font. Hands holding an apple.
That is it! It is simple and amazing!
“Never use Comic Sans” might sound like an arbitrary rule that hoity-toity graphic designers use to ridicule non-graphic-designers (it isn’t, but it might sound that way). So let’s sidestep that issue. A broader issue is that the cover sucks. It looks lame and amateurish, like something that a 10-year-old would throw together. It’s garish and ugly and clumsy, without looking in the least like it’s *deliberately* garish and ugly and clumsy. There is nothing about it, no element of it, that looks like it was deliberately put there to achieve a desired effect. It just sucks, sucks, and sucks.
Also it sucks.