The Shelter for Buttered Women
I… yeah.
You’d swear the synopsis is from some other book entirely:
Three years ago Cort O’Leary was the pride of his precinct at NYPD. After he watched his partner and lover die one terrible night, he sought a quieter life in rural New England. He thought he could run from his past, but nightmares about his lover’s death have suddenly become more vivid. Worse, an evil entity – The Story Keeper – has used his sorrow as a conduit and intends to feed off Cort’s soul…
Aaron’s Preschool Book for 3 Year Olds: A Little Boy’s Adventures
That’s right, raise them to think covers are supposed to look like this…