This is the True Story of a boy (from age 4 to 19) with Anti-Social Personality Disorder, early puberty, premature sexual urges and lots of other problems. He is known as a “good kid” in his surburban Long Island, NY, neighborhood. In reality he is a sexual pervert, deviant, liar, thief, embezzler, torturer, rapist and all around criminal involved in a number of illegal enterprises. Not drugs, he hated drugs and never touches them. Everybody loves him (he lives with five girls and has sex with all of them including his first cousin, his two second cousins came later) and everybody wants to hire him because he has the Magic Touch when it comes to business. Just don’t give him a reason to get back at you.

Who would want to read this? And how can I put them in a registry?

Dick Steele is a man’s man’s man. He’s also a truck driving marine and an alpha male, the first of his kind, hence the alpha part. Dick Steele doesn’t get the flu, the flu gets Dick Steele, and there’s no vaccine for a classic ass whooping.
Chastity Cramwell is assumed to live in the unassuming town of Large Pebble, Colorado where she owns and operates an antique store with a clever name. Photos of her fat ass are banned on Chinese internet for fear such western decadence could cause a revolution.
Dick Steele loves nothing more than a cute honey with a fat dumpster, but will Chastity let him in both metaphorically and sexually? Dick Steele has all the strength in his masculine arms to carry her hopes and dreams, but does he have the strength to overcome his troubled romantic past? The only way to find out is to read the book, because I’m sure not going to tell you in the description.

How witty does the author think she is? Very witty, or very very witty?

It has been a dream of Dougie’s for some time to have his book published. He has been a regular contributor to the collaborative writing project For The Many Not The Few, which is now up to Volume 13 (at the time of writing). Dougie hails from Carronshore, once a thriving mining village, in the Falkirk area of Scotland. The village sits North of the River Carron. It has always been a pleasure to work with Dougie and I hope he goes on to write many more pieces.

Um… that description is supposed to be of the book. (h/t P.J.)