Category - Blurbs

BLURB: If You Can’t Be Good, Be Bad!

This is the True Story of a boy (from age 4 to 19) with Anti-Social Personality Disorder, early puberty, premature sexual urges and lots of other problems. He is known as a “good kid” in his surburban Long Island, NY, neighborhood. In reality he is a sexual pervert, deviant, liar, thief, embezzler, torturer, rapist and all around criminal involved in a number of illegal enterprises. Not drugs, he hated drugs and never touches them. Everybody loves him (he lives with five girls and has sex with all of them including his first cousin, his two second cousins came later) and everybody wants to hire him because he has the Magic Touch when it comes to business. Just don’t give him a reason to get back at you.

Who would want to read this? And how can I put them in a registry?

BLURB: When Our Genitals Kiss

Dick Steele is a man’s man’s man. He’s also a truck driving marine and an alpha male, the first of his kind, hence the alpha part. Dick Steele doesn’t get the flu, the flu gets Dick Steele, and there’s no vaccine for a classic ass whooping.
Chastity Cramwell is assumed to live in the unassuming town of Large Pebble, Colorado where she owns and operates an antique store with a clever name. Photos of her fat ass are banned on Chinese internet for fear such western decadence could cause a revolution.
Dick Steele loves nothing more than a cute honey with a fat dumpster, but will Chastity let him in both metaphorically and sexually? Dick Steele has all the strength in his masculine arms to carry her hopes and dreams, but does he have the strength to overcome his troubled romantic past? The only way to find out is to read the book, because I’m sure not going to tell you in the description.

How witty does the author think she is? Very witty, or very very witty?

BLURB: Oh Dear!

It has been a dream of Dougie’s for some time to have his book published. He has been a regular contributor to the collaborative writing project For The Many Not The Few, which is now up to Volume 13 (at the time of writing). Dougie hails from Carronshore, once a thriving mining village, in the Falkirk area of Scotland. The village sits North of the River Carron. It has always been a pleasure to work with Dougie and I hope he goes on to write many more pieces.

Um… that description is supposed to be of the book. (h/t P.J.)

 

BLURB: Nononibiru Diabolicum, No Longer

“Nononibiru Diabolicum, No Longer”, is a commentary, on the Papal Bull, Of Pope Urban VIII, 1633, Prohibiting, by Excommunication and death, any mention of Nibiru, also known as, Wormwood, in Bible Revelations, The Black Sun, in European Mystery Schools, Blue Kachina, to the Native Americans, Shiva, The Destroyer Of Worlds, in the Hindu Religion, The Nemesis, Rogue Star System, a Binary of our own sun: A Red Dwarf Star, with a million mile asteroid tail, which enters, into Perihelion Orbit, with our sun, every 3600 years – The previous occurrence causing, the Antediluvian, Flood of Noah – Recently identified, as Planet X, returning in 2012, as predicted, accurately by the Aztec Calendar, then exiting again, in 2017 – The book further touches upon, the associated, Biblical Theology, Babylonian Demonology, UFOlogy, with the Nemesis System, it’s starmapped revolution, around the Sun and Saturn: Associated with Saturn “Black Cube” Worship, and the Annunaki, Nephilim, Alpha Draconian, Malevolent Alien life forms –

Commas! How do they work? (h/t P.J.)

BLURB: Black Hole Time Machine

 This story is one scientist invents one time machine to bring whose one student to go to future time journey.  It is my first science fiction novel written and  a science comedy, a time travel science story. This scenario of this series takes place in four stages of journey.
The first journey indicates the Boston University lecturer, Jim’s time travel machine invention and who invites the student , Johnny to enter this big circle time machine to go to future time travel together.
The second journey indicates Johnny go to the future court judgement journey alone.  Johnny will meet himself in the future Boston city US court in the future time.
The third journey, the time journey traveler Johnny  who will enter the time machine to discover whether who will do what kind of job in Boston University.
The end of story final journey, he will describe who is one human development science subject lecturer and he can see himself who is teaching in one large lecture hall as well as who can listen what his is teaching in the lecturer hall.  Thus, he will know what he will teach and he will write all notes to remember to prepare his teaching in the future.
This time machine science story concerns one lecturer invents one time machine to help the main actor his student Johnny to catch his time machine to go to the future time and go back the present time travel. His student Johnny’s surprising journey will be described in this fiction.

ASL or AI? You be the judge. (h/t P.J.)