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Category - Blurbs

Bhavachakra of legislations : The wheel model for regulating any Solar System (SS)‘s planet confined living land.

Bhavachakra of legislations : The wheel model for regulating any Solar System (SS)‘s planet confined living land.

This is apparently the week for “Blurbs Which Are As Bad As The Covers”:

Translation, paraphrasing, alignment, and update after more than a century of worldwide peace of the most important Italian Republic legislations such as the Constitution, European Regulation, and United Nations rules, unfortunately, less nostalgic venerating the worthful veterans for the new generation wishing to be able to live, thrive and reproduce alone in right. The legislations are enhanced and improved without altering the tradition moving against articles like the n. 139 of the Italian Constitution, proposed as a model for all the enclosed geo-political borders of any liveable astronomical object being based on the zodiac, related planets, and asteroids. This translation may be suitable for foreign immigrants in the Italian borders looking to understand how to live according to the national legislation and for the prospective citizens of Mars and other livable planets. In this unique hermetic text, the Italian currencies used for the pecuniary amends still in outdated “Lire £” have been updated converting them into “Euros €”.

Thee Holy I-By

Thee Holy I-By

The Amazon description is at least as bad as the cover:

Religion is Personal Thee state is for all, FarI After Reading through Holy scriptures and thee Rastafarian Holy Piby, one could sea thee need for improvement and to i-pply content and meaning unto I&I Father & Mother Tafari’s Holy Words. I&I must say black and white as forms of speech, as means of judging Humankind should be i-liminated from human society. Human Beings are precisely thee same, whatIver colour creed or national origin they may bee. (Throne Speech Selassie I)

BLURB: The Last Gods

Brace yourself for a sci-fi experience that will challenge everything you know. The Last Gods follows Elodie Black, who starts as an ordinary wife with ordinary problems but ends up living till the end of time, witnessing the evolution of civilization, humanity, and technology. As Elodie navigates this epic journey through the eons, she faces timeless questions of meaning, identity and what it is to be human.

Readers have described it as having a fast-paced story line, relatable characters and being extremely thought provoking, even life-changing. The Last Gods blends deep philosophical themes with a future so tangible that it feels eerily close, making it a story that sticks with you long after you turn the last page.

Written by Australian author Adam Brownlie, whose unique life inspired his exploration of humanity’s biggest questions. The Last Gods is more than a story; it’s an experience that will leave you rethinking reality.

Original title: The Girl Who Binge-Watched reality.

BLURB: War of the Wordls: A Scrambled Translation of H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds

You can raed tihs senetnce, eevn thgouh the wrdos are scrbamled. Your brain can read common words even if only the first and last letters are in their proper places. Test this ability for yourself with War of the Wordls – an entire novel of scrambled words. War of the Wordls tells the story of Martian invaders who land in late nineteenth-century Britain. With visionary references to space travel, lasers, robots, and other innovation, H.G. Wells’ story is as captivating as ever. In this edition, the text looks like gibberish, but if you read English well, it reads like any other book. Go ahead – try it. Amaze yourself and impress your friends. It’s fun!

Not the blurb per se, so much as the entire premise…

 

BLURB: Gravity Drive: Key to the Cosmos

This is a work of fiction: Since the invention of rockets, their propulsion systems have gone essentially unchanged. We still depend on blasting some type of propellant out the rear to shoot the rocket forward (Newton’s Third Law – check it out). There’s two problems with this method: propellant is always in limited supply, and you can’t really go very fast, so we use gravitational assist from planets to get us places. It still takes years, and that’s just inside our solar system. What if we could go to our Moon in hours or Mars in a couple days, and even turn around mid-flight if we forgot our toothbrush?

…

It continues in this vein for almost another 500 words.

BLURB: Tales of the Peacemaker: Return of the Immortals

The story comes in around the same time book 9 ends. It goes from there, listing events as one immortal experiences them and her thoughts on such. It tells how she gets more promotions past where book 9 stops listing them. The story does not focus so much on the promotions as book 9 was. It is longer than book 9 but much shorter than book 8.

Is anyone enticed by this to seek out the rest of the series?

BLURB: CROSSING ZERO – A Thriller

She has it…They want it, and they will do anything to get it.

Crossing Zero is a compelling page-turner with ever-increasing suspense. Kelly Sanborn has something of extreme value, which competing forces will do anything to obtain. When Kelly’s eleven-year-old son’s life is in danger, the unimaginable happens…An unforgettable twist propels this thriller in a stunning new direction as it races toward an electrifying conclusion.

Vague-blurbing.

 

BLURB: Free Ideas For Video Game Things

“It’s a secret to everybody.” In this public domain book you will find hundreds of ideas for new video game things. Ideas for controllers, consoles, gimmicks, but most of all ideas to put into new video games. This is a handwritten book containing helpful drawings for those ideas. This book is of free use with or without credit.

It’s like a game designer getting trapped elevator with a fanboy who’s got all these “great” ideas, but also, the designer pays for it!