Yeah, I think this cover tells us the girl protagonist of the story is thinking a lot about her… jewel now that she’s thirteen, if you know what I mean.
jic
9 years ago
Just change the title to *The Crystal Keeper – Legend of the Jeweled Vulva*. Problem solved.
Heh. Do something on purpose, with a sense of wit and style, and you become a nominee for the Academy of British Cover Design award (http://amazon.com/dp/0062280589/)
Do pretty much the same thing by accident, and you end up on Lousy Book Covers.
Hey, you beat me to the punchline! That Alissa Nutting novel (not removed from Amazon when practically every other piece of erotica written in our time about underage kids having sex with adults was) is exactly what this cover brought to mind. I’m not entirely sure the effect wasn’t intended here, though. The protagonist of the novel is “an ordinary thirteen year old girl from Scotland” according to the book description, and even without the suggestive overlay, the gem’s pink-ice coloring automatically brings girly feminine things to mind.
So… a girl in her pubescent years is evidently tasked with hanging on to a feminine-themed gem. What kinds of things do you think would be featuring prominently in her thoughts at that age? My guess is that this cover symbolizes exactly what the author intended.
Re. Amazon: It’s only self-published books that Amazon has banned if they venture into certain taboo topics. AFAIK they haven’t censored any trad-published books, no matter who does what to whom (or what).
Re. this LBC cover: You might be right that it’s deliberate. But if it is, those scissor-blades at the top and the saw-teeth at the bottom become all the more disturbing. And anyway, even if the resemblance is deliberate, it’s done in such a way as to look accidental, so it’s still LBC material, IMO.
Considering that the novel’s thirteen-year-old protagonist would be considered jailbait nearly everywhere its readers live, the “dentata” theme of the overlay might be deliberate too. It’s only fair to warn anyone looking to plunder this treasure (wink wink nudge nudge say no more, squire) to keep his hands off this particular family jewel… literally or figuratively speaking. (A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!)
James F. Brown
9 years ago
“…the saw-teeth at the bottom become all the more disturbing.”
Enter at your own risk!
(Saw a genuine medieval chastity belt at the Doge’s Palace — now a museum — in Venice. Yeah, saw-teeth. It was horrifying. Not just the contraption itself, but the mindset behind it: viewing woman as nothing more than breeding chattel. BTW, the back door was also guarded. Yuck!)
As for me, I see bird wings or feathers in the jewel setting, not saw-teeth.
The chastity belt myth part is that kings and knights routinely left their wives locked in chastity belts while on the Crusades. Chastity belts are just not found from the medieval era of the Crusades. Extant and authenticated chastity belts date from the Renaissance. Fake medieval chastity belts are made to seperate tourists from their currency.
James probably saw this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Venetian-chastity.JPG
As to mindset, most Renaissance to modern chastity belts were/are anti-rape devices (probably with the key under the woman’s exclusive control). (There was a 19th century fad of using them to prevent masturbation, a leading cause of blindness.) Most anti-rape belts do not have teeth or spikes: they block entry with a solid shield. For anti-rape dentata, there’s the Haumann device (hollow tampon w/razor blades) and Ehlers device (female condom w/spikes).
Catie
9 years ago
I must not be as perverted as I though. I see some monster’s angry open mouth with a pink tongue inside it. Must be because I’m a woman. If it were a phallic shape, that would be another story.
No of course not. That would be silly! Who would write a book about vaginas?
Obviously, I would need to alter the idea to make it a glowing anus necklace.
So yes, I agree. O_o
Truth: I really have been wracking my brain to make a good cover for my book. As it is a sexy fantasy book, this sort of idea is actually a good thing. I think I may make it one of my ‘ideas’.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/cover16.jpg)
Am I the only one with a dirty mind and seeing something else? Oh, wait – Nathan sees it as well.
Yeah, I think this cover tells us the girl protagonist of the story is thinking a lot about her… jewel now that she’s thirteen, if you know what I mean.
Just change the title to *The Crystal Keeper – Legend of the Jeweled Vulva*. Problem solved.
And it’s a pretty pink, too!
Heh. Do something on purpose, with a sense of wit and style, and you become a nominee for the Academy of British Cover Design award (http://amazon.com/dp/0062280589/)
Do pretty much the same thing by accident, and you end up on Lousy Book Covers.
Hey, you beat me to the punchline! That Alissa Nutting novel (not removed from Amazon when practically every other piece of erotica written in our time about underage kids having sex with adults was) is exactly what this cover brought to mind. I’m not entirely sure the effect wasn’t intended here, though. The protagonist of the novel is “an ordinary thirteen year old girl from Scotland” according to the book description, and even without the suggestive overlay, the gem’s pink-ice coloring automatically brings girly feminine things to mind.
So… a girl in her pubescent years is evidently tasked with hanging on to a feminine-themed gem. What kinds of things do you think would be featuring prominently in her thoughts at that age? My guess is that this cover symbolizes exactly what the author intended.
Re. Amazon: It’s only self-published books that Amazon has banned if they venture into certain taboo topics. AFAIK they haven’t censored any trad-published books, no matter who does what to whom (or what).
Re. this LBC cover: You might be right that it’s deliberate. But if it is, those scissor-blades at the top and the saw-teeth at the bottom become all the more disturbing. And anyway, even if the resemblance is deliberate, it’s done in such a way as to look accidental, so it’s still LBC material, IMO.
Considering that the novel’s thirteen-year-old protagonist would be considered jailbait nearly everywhere its readers live, the “dentata” theme of the overlay might be deliberate too. It’s only fair to warn anyone looking to plunder this treasure (wink wink nudge nudge say no more, squire) to keep his hands off this particular family jewel… literally or figuratively speaking. (A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!)
“…the saw-teeth at the bottom become all the more disturbing.”
Enter at your own risk!
(Saw a genuine medieval chastity belt at the Doge’s Palace — now a museum — in Venice. Yeah, saw-teeth. It was horrifying. Not just the contraption itself, but the mindset behind it: viewing woman as nothing more than breeding chattel. BTW, the back door was also guarded. Yuck!)
Well, you might be happy to learn that it is probably fake: http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/05/chastity-belts-never-actually-used-medieval-times/
As for me, I see bird wings or feathers in the jewel setting, not saw-teeth.
The chastity belt myth part is that kings and knights routinely left their wives locked in chastity belts while on the Crusades. Chastity belts are just not found from the medieval era of the Crusades. Extant and authenticated chastity belts date from the Renaissance. Fake medieval chastity belts are made to seperate tourists from their currency.
James probably saw this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Venetian-chastity.JPG
As to mindset, most Renaissance to modern chastity belts were/are anti-rape devices (probably with the key under the woman’s exclusive control). (There was a 19th century fad of using them to prevent masturbation, a leading cause of blindness.) Most anti-rape belts do not have teeth or spikes: they block entry with a solid shield. For anti-rape dentata, there’s the Haumann device (hollow tampon w/razor blades) and Ehlers device (female condom w/spikes).
I must not be as perverted as I though. I see some monster’s angry open mouth with a pink tongue inside it. Must be because I’m a woman. If it were a phallic shape, that would be another story.
I think it’s a light bulb.
That makes me feel better.
This is the absolute best cover with a glowing scissor vagina that I have ever seen!
I’m saving this as inspiration for my book cover!
Your book is about vaginas? O_o
No of course not. That would be silly! Who would write a book about vaginas?
Obviously, I would need to alter the idea to make it a glowing anus necklace.
So yes, I agree. O_o
Truth: I really have been wracking my brain to make a good cover for my book. As it is a sexy fantasy book, this sort of idea is actually a good thing. I think I may make it one of my ‘ideas’.
You might want to lose the scissors, though :D. Unless it’s SMBD kind of sexy, in which case, add some nipple clamps as well.
Good advice. I want the *cough* jewel to be inviting and warm. Not sharp like this one!
I hope you’ll share it with us if you ever make it. I’m curious to see how it would turn out XD
But of course! I will submit the whole lot to covercritics and see what happens!