NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I WANT TO THROW UP!!!!!
Ditto what you said Kris a million times!!!
This cover I can’t even laugh at because
it’s so visually offensive.
I declare this cover cruelty of the highest
magnitude to any pair of human eyes.
Catie
11 years ago
This guy really looks “burly, sexual (well, he’s naked) and full of nostalgia” in a really, really disturbing way. I just can’t believe any normal person would put this on a book cover.
Just noticed, is he pulling on his nipple?
Ben Ripley
11 years ago
*speechless*
Jen
11 years ago
I unfortunately just looked at this cover again.
(NOT intentionally) and I change my mind.
NO NO NO not just a million times but to INFINITY!
SHAME ON YOU K.R. COLUMBUS!
Nancy
11 years ago
My eyes are hemorrhaging
red
11 years ago
I just read the description for this book. The short version is “Ralph, I am your father.”
It’s also the Softcore General Edition, apparently — one of the few instances where the toned-down version of a work is the one the creator prefers. I think this cover made me laugh more than any other one I’ve seen here; part of me still doesn’t believe it’s an actual book.
The actual book has probably received more attention/hits due to this site than it ever would otherwise; I wonder whether the author would consider that a good or bad thing.
Well, I haven’t received a frothing email about copyright violation and DCMA takedown notices yet…
Heather
11 years ago
This is one of those times I’m actually glad for bad 3D… it would be worse if it were a REAL guy built like that and wearing (or not as the case may be) the same thing.
Before seeing this cover, I never once considered that there could be a book cover out there that Lousy Book Covers should have thought twice before displaying. 😉
Take Cover
11 years ago
Burly, sexual and full of pie… Actually, heck, I kinda like it.
KIDDING! Just kidding. This is a book that I’m guessing can be judged only too well from its cover. And if that’s how he behaves in the hall, I’d hate to see what he gets up to in the bedroom. Oh dear, I wish I’d never thought of that.
James F. Brown
11 years ago
It occurs to me that this might be a deliberate goof, trying to get coverage on Lousy Book Covers (no pun intended).
Uh,no, on second thought I guess not. 🙁
James F. Brown
11 years ago
Also, crappy font and his head is really tiny compared to that huge bloated bod.
Howard
11 years ago
What does ‘Softcore General Edition’ mean? I really hope it doesn’t mean that there is also a ‘hardcore’ edition
Howard
11 years ago
‘Burly, sexual, and full of nostalgia’ – what, like ‘Antiques Roadshow’?
Charlie
11 years ago
Soooooo there’s almost something endearing about him, once you get past the “it’s Wreck it Ralph naked” thing (especially since the name of the love interest of this guy is Ralph). I don’t get the “full of nostalgia” angle. Nostalgia isn’t especially sexy is it?
Also… usually romance books have two people on the cover but instead of having the other dude present we get the same guy twice. Shouldn’t the slack jawed portrait on the left be his handicapped friend Ralph? Or Oberon?
IT’S MY RING TONE aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggggggg.
hotclaws
11 years ago
Oh god,I just laughed so hard,stuff came down my nose.
Jen
11 years ago
By the way, it’s been a few days since this
cover was posted but my boyfriend just
commented that Wreck it Ralph seems to
be sporting the biggest unshaven v.j of all time.
That book cover will ALWAYS be on my
SHT list.
Axolotl
11 years ago
If you look at the tags, it is aimed at a specific audience, the ‘bear’ scene. In other words, it’s big fat hairy gay guy fetish material. So there is a reason why the character on the front looks that way, and it probably does have appeal to the right demographic. The body on the character is not too bad so far as CGI dummies go, but the posture is rather unfortunate and the drawn-on head is crappy. The general composition of the thing, with the close-up of the badly rendered head and no attempt to incorporate it into a background, just isn’t very nice. So, it has its niche, and it’s not great, but considering its niche it isn’t awful either. I suspect a computer-generated character was used because it’s very difficult to get hold of photographs of this sort of person that would work on a ‘sexy’ book. I say this because I have written and sold to small publishers erotica novellas featuring large male characters and (usually) women, and the cover I get given invariably either doesn’t depict the male character at all, or uses a stock ‘headless torso’ out of focus. The majority of people might think books with this sort of theme sound ridiculous, but everyone has different tastes and some people do enjoy reading them (although I admit the market is not large).
I am very proud of this cover and book. Love the font. lol. The book has nothing to do with Wreck it Ralph, I wrote this book years before that movie came out. But I am aware that people have their own opinion and well I AM PROUD to be part of lousy book covers. This is a very interesting page as it is. Anyhow keep the good work.
K.R.Columbus
My eyes. They cannot unsee.
Haaaaa! OMG. This is the BEST ONE EVER! Caption is “D’uh.”
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I WANT TO THROW UP!!!!!
Ditto what you said Kris a million times!!!
This cover I can’t even laugh at because
it’s so visually offensive.
I declare this cover cruelty of the highest
magnitude to any pair of human eyes.
This guy really looks “burly, sexual (well, he’s naked) and full of nostalgia” in a really, really disturbing way. I just can’t believe any normal person would put this on a book cover.
Just noticed, is he pulling on his nipple?
*speechless*
I unfortunately just looked at this cover again.
(NOT intentionally) and I change my mind.
NO NO NO not just a million times but to INFINITY!
SHAME ON YOU K.R. COLUMBUS!
My eyes are hemorrhaging
I just read the description for this book. The short version is “Ralph, I am your father.”
Oh, my.
Oh my God! At first I didn’t understand the Ralph
connection but he TOTALLY looks like Wreck it Ralph!
This is the “Author’s Definitive Edition.” Try not to think about what the others must have looked like.
It’s also the Softcore General Edition, apparently — one of the few instances where the toned-down version of a work is the one the creator prefers. I think this cover made me laugh more than any other one I’ve seen here; part of me still doesn’t believe it’s an actual book.
Well, some people don’t consider self-published books actual books.
I disagree with them, but I certainly can understand them.
The actual book has probably received more attention/hits due to this site than it ever would otherwise; I wonder whether the author would consider that a good or bad thing.
Well, I haven’t received a frothing email about copyright violation and DCMA takedown notices yet…
This is one of those times I’m actually glad for bad 3D… it would be worse if it were a REAL guy built like that and wearing (or not as the case may be) the same thing.
This is quite possibly the worst cover yet. I heartily approve.
Looks like he’s waiting for Forbidden Bigfoot to arrive.
I totally forgot about forbidden Big Foot!
I’m sure they’re lovers on the side.
Brain bleach, please.
Before seeing this cover, I never once considered that there could be a book cover out there that Lousy Book Covers should have thought twice before displaying. 😉
Burly, sexual and full of pie… Actually, heck, I kinda like it.
KIDDING! Just kidding. This is a book that I’m guessing can be judged only too well from its cover. And if that’s how he behaves in the hall, I’d hate to see what he gets up to in the bedroom. Oh dear, I wish I’d never thought of that.
It occurs to me that this might be a deliberate goof, trying to get coverage on Lousy Book Covers (no pun intended).
Uh,no, on second thought I guess not. 🙁
Also, crappy font and his head is really tiny compared to that huge bloated bod.
What does ‘Softcore General Edition’ mean? I really hope it doesn’t mean that there is also a ‘hardcore’ edition
‘Burly, sexual, and full of nostalgia’ – what, like ‘Antiques Roadshow’?
Soooooo there’s almost something endearing about him, once you get past the “it’s Wreck it Ralph naked” thing (especially since the name of the love interest of this guy is Ralph). I don’t get the “full of nostalgia” angle. Nostalgia isn’t especially sexy is it?
Also… usually romance books have two people on the cover but instead of having the other dude present we get the same guy twice. Shouldn’t the slack jawed portrait on the left be his handicapped friend Ralph? Or Oberon?
This one is a masterpiece.
Never again you’ll find a cover that belongs to this site as much as this one does, Nathan.
That’s a terrifying challenge filled with hubris. A cover more wrong than this might well bring about the apocalypse.
Something I learned during ten years of reviewing bad movies:
The barrel HAS no bottom.
Nathan, I’m still traumatized by this.
Why do you want to give me nightmares?
I may never again be able to listen to Grieg’s Peer Gynt suite without post-traumatic hairy Play-Doh troll flashbacks. Dear God, why?
IT’S MY RING TONE aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggggggg.
Oh god,I just laughed so hard,stuff came down my nose.
By the way, it’s been a few days since this
cover was posted but my boyfriend just
commented that Wreck it Ralph seems to
be sporting the biggest unshaven v.j of all time.
That book cover will ALWAYS be on my
SHT list.
If you look at the tags, it is aimed at a specific audience, the ‘bear’ scene. In other words, it’s big fat hairy gay guy fetish material. So there is a reason why the character on the front looks that way, and it probably does have appeal to the right demographic. The body on the character is not too bad so far as CGI dummies go, but the posture is rather unfortunate and the drawn-on head is crappy. The general composition of the thing, with the close-up of the badly rendered head and no attempt to incorporate it into a background, just isn’t very nice. So, it has its niche, and it’s not great, but considering its niche it isn’t awful either. I suspect a computer-generated character was used because it’s very difficult to get hold of photographs of this sort of person that would work on a ‘sexy’ book. I say this because I have written and sold to small publishers erotica novellas featuring large male characters and (usually) women, and the cover I get given invariably either doesn’t depict the male character at all, or uses a stock ‘headless torso’ out of focus. The majority of people might think books with this sort of theme sound ridiculous, but everyone has different tastes and some people do enjoy reading them (although I admit the market is not large).
This is the ‘hardcore’ one http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/85943
I am very proud of this cover and book. Love the font. lol. The book has nothing to do with Wreck it Ralph, I wrote this book years before that movie came out. But I am aware that people have their own opinion and well I AM PROUD to be part of lousy book covers. This is a very interesting page as it is. Anyhow keep the good work.
K.R.Columbus
Is this the stoner brother of pip the troll?