“Not your grandfather’s zombie stories (or your grandfather’s zombie, for that matter). These short stories offer unusual takes on zombies, from their potential uses as foodie side dishes to apps that make everyone a zombie to a heartbreaking look at a young zombie. At times funny, at times sentimental, but always haunting, these zombie stories can be read in an afternoon but will stick with you for longer.”
“Templeton Freeney thinks that the stupid pineapple keeping him awake at night is the biggest problem he’s got, outside of the wormhole at work, of course. But then his wish is granted and suddenly he’s living the coastal sunlit paradise of Trenton,New Jersey — chock full of camels and also his wife, who can’t stop baking pancakes.
This, of course, is just the kind of thing that Other Sexy Cop has been waiting for as a break in her case, and she would definitely be investigating this development except that Nick has somehow managed to get himself kidnapped by what appear to be stock character aliens.
You know, I just re-read all that and NOT A SINGLE WORD OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE. I’m not sure how my agent got me into this, narrating a half-witted description box for what appears to be not so much a novel as the deranged musings of a brain addled by far, far, too many Peanut Butter Milkshakes drunk far, far, too late at night. I mean, is this book really about a stupid pineapple that somehow grants WISHES? And that leads to some sort of collapse of the universe and a group of trained thugs ready to kill on a moment’s notice, a battle among alien armies and a guest-appearance by GOD? THIS IS LUDICROUS. I WILL NOT BE A PART OF… wait, THAT is how much I’m getting paid? Seriously? Why, I’ll never have to work…
*AHEM* THIS BOOK IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF LITERATURE SINCE ERNEST HEMINGWAY WROTE THE KING JAMES BIBLE UNDER THE PSEUDONYM ‘SHAKESPEARE’. READING THIS BOOK WILL CURE BLINDNESS AND THE COMMON COLD. SIMPLY BUYING IT WILL MAKE YOU DESIRABLE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. OR THE SAME SEX IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT.
Are we sure this check is good? I’m out of here. Suckers.”
*Nathan – you certainly nailed the just-don’t-care!!!*
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/cover138.jpg)
Waffles! It’s ANOTHER ONE! 😀
“Not your grandfather’s zombie stories (or your grandfather’s zombie, for that matter). These short stories offer unusual takes on zombies, from their potential uses as foodie side dishes to apps that make everyone a zombie to a heartbreaking look at a young zombie. At times funny, at times sentimental, but always haunting, these zombie stories can be read in an afternoon but will stick with you for longer.”
*Don’t threaten me.*
Check out the cover on her other book: http://www.amazon.com/This-Stupid-Pineapple-Other-Adventure-ebook/dp/B00OI7N6GG/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1415737722&sr=1-2
“Templeton Freeney thinks that the stupid pineapple keeping him awake at night is the biggest problem he’s got, outside of the wormhole at work, of course. But then his wish is granted and suddenly he’s living the coastal sunlit paradise of Trenton,New Jersey — chock full of camels and also his wife, who can’t stop baking pancakes.
This, of course, is just the kind of thing that Other Sexy Cop has been waiting for as a break in her case, and she would definitely be investigating this development except that Nick has somehow managed to get himself kidnapped by what appear to be stock character aliens.
You know, I just re-read all that and NOT A SINGLE WORD OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE. I’m not sure how my agent got me into this, narrating a half-witted description box for what appears to be not so much a novel as the deranged musings of a brain addled by far, far, too many Peanut Butter Milkshakes drunk far, far, too late at night. I mean, is this book really about a stupid pineapple that somehow grants WISHES? And that leads to some sort of collapse of the universe and a group of trained thugs ready to kill on a moment’s notice, a battle among alien armies and a guest-appearance by GOD? THIS IS LUDICROUS. I WILL NOT BE A PART OF… wait, THAT is how much I’m getting paid? Seriously? Why, I’ll never have to work…
*AHEM* THIS BOOK IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF LITERATURE SINCE ERNEST HEMINGWAY WROTE THE KING JAMES BIBLE UNDER THE PSEUDONYM ‘SHAKESPEARE’. READING THIS BOOK WILL CURE BLINDNESS AND THE COMMON COLD. SIMPLY BUYING IT WILL MAKE YOU DESIRABLE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. OR THE SAME SEX IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT.
Are we sure this check is good? I’m out of here. Suckers.”
*Nathan – you certainly nailed the just-don’t-care!!!*
That actually sounds like a fun read. I might add it to my wish list.
*Squee!*
Additional zombies have been done to death joke!
Side Note: That fake review idea is rather fun though. It Certainly was more entertaining than the cover!
I’d give it very small credit for originality, only because I’ve never seen stick-figure zombies on a book cover.
Wow, this one certainly is something else. Refreshing.
And a second-grader will create your cover art for just some cake and ice cream…