Aurorastar Sparkles, the young colourful sparkle bird stretched, yawned more than she really needed to and then coughed three times to clear her throat and when she was ready she said, ‘…….’ nothing because it was nothing that came out, so she tried again, and again and still nothing came out.
‘My goodness,’ she said, ‘now what will I do because all colourful sparkle birds are supposed to be able to say twisty-two first thing in the morning, aren’t they?’
‘Aren’t they?’ she repeated but there wasn’t anyone there to answer her question and there should have been so, where were they?
Leave the reader with a question. Don’t leave the reader questioning your sanity.
It’s not 100% awful as it reminds me of The Bald Twit Lion by Spike Milligan. Milligan’s covers famously were not very good, but were so badly drawn as to be funny. This one is bad without redemption, especially if it’s supposed to be a silly story for children in the Milligan vein. The punctuation of the whole thing is arguable but the comma after the ‘so’ in the last sentence should surely come before it?
This must be Brenglish Appreciation Week.