I just got this message submitted anonymously via the website:
YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO AUTHORS. IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE AT ALL, YOU’LL FALL FLAT ON YOUR FEET AND REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A VERY ANGRY INDIVIDUAL. SINCE YOU FEEL YOU ARE SO SUPREMELY CONFIDENT IN HAVING COMFORTABLY WON A WRANGLING WITH SEVERAL AUTHORS IN THE PAST, I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU MAY FACE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES SOON. EVERY COVER YOU MOCK IS LISTED IN THE SEARCH ENGINE FOR THAT TITLE, AND THIS DENTS AUTHOR’S SALES. YES, YOU MAY EXPRESS ANY VIEW THROUGH A CONTAINED ARGUEMENT, BUT YOUR DEBATE LISTS THE BOOK UNDER A SIMPLE SEARCH ENGINE AND OF WHICH IS RAISED FIRST.
WELL, GOD-OF-ALL-RIGHT OVER BOOK JACKETS – JUST WATCH YOUR BACK.
Huh. So, readers are so stupid that if I didn’t point out that these are bad covers, they’d think they’re okay? Hey, authors, my existence totally disgraces the rest of you. Torches and pitchforks, stat!
Or maybe you should try to prove that being featured on this site dents sales. You know, with actual numbers and stuff. Several of the authors who’ve commented here found out about this website because of an uptick in sales and exposure. But all I have on my side is anecdotal evidence, whereas you have ALL CAPS. I can certainly see why I’m the angry one.
(What the hell is a “contained arguement” [sic] ? Does that mean that I’m allowed to hold whatever opinion I want, as long as nobody ever finds out? I don’t think that’s how the First Amendment works, pardner.)
Ah, well. At least I have the cojones to put my identity out here, unlike Mr. I’m-So-Brave-When-I-Make-Vague-And-Unsupportable-Legal-Threats-And-Don’t-Sign-My-Name. “Watch my back,” indeed. Because that’s what cowards attack when a fair fight would send them crying to Mom.
I love the “because you pointed out how silly the cover looks, others (apparently not having seen the cover in question) might not buy the book” argument.
just thought i’d say – as an author who (at least once) had a cover lousy enough to appear on your site – i love what you do and that particular cover totally deserved it!
p.s. i would also enjoy seeing anyone fall flat on their feet!
I’m sure that you get flat feet from that. Or something.
Ha, I didn’t notice that… Normally if you “fall on your feet” it means you came out well from some misfortune. So the threat is “You will do OK!”? IF there is any justice, of course. Since “flat” is often used as a word to emphasize, “flat out”, “flat broke” it must mean you will do well indeed.
Watch out
THOSE CAPS MAY GET YOU WHEN YOU ARE NOT LOOKING!!
Well, another courageous, spittle-spewing “Anonymous” poster.
He thinks he’s safe and can’t be tracked back, discovered, and outed. Bwahahaha… Another techno-clueless fool. I’ve seen jerks like this learn far too late that their knowledge of the Internet, URL referents, and IP protocols was sadly deficient.
But then, I doubt Nathan cares enough about these bozos to do anything other than publish their mouth-foaming rants.
Lol, calling you an angry individual. Look at yourself, anon. We’re just laughing on this end.
What he (or she) doesn’t get is that your back is not unprotected, Nathan. Look around and you’ll see us behind you, supporting you, and supporting free speech and the right to critique bad art.
Falling flat on your *feet* would be a good thing. Just ask any cat. I think he meant ‘face’.
But of course, when you’re writing in ALL CAPS, it hardly matters what the actual words are.
Oh no! Not LEGAL CONSEQUENCES! Those are the very worst kind of CONSEQUENCES!
Maybe that would be a tie. Along with “digestive consequences.”
So, I can sue people for bad reviews on my book? Yay!
(But seriously I’m pretty sure all the books here sell more copies because of this site.)
They certainly get more looks on Amazon!
At least he/she/it only threatened you with the LEGAL CONSEQUENCES…it’s those illegal ones that have you have to watch out for. Those could have you falling on your face instead of your feet.
Nathan, did you get appointed god of book “jackets” and forget to tell us? You must keep us abreast of these developments so we can grovel and worship your wit and snark properly.
Now, can one bring legal consequences against a god? I think not!
I’m one of those rare humble gods.
You’ll have to put
GOD-OF-ALL-RIGHT OVER BOOK JACKETS
on your business card
ALL YOUR BOOK COVER BELONG US.
I find this most amusing, besides if your cover is featured here, you get free advertizing! What could possibly be terrible about that, if your whole intent is to be a author, and GASP! make money!
Uh-oh. Butthurt alert! Call the waaahmbulance!
Now that Regretsy is no more, it looks like our old favourite law firm of Koppyin and Pastin is on the lookout for pastures new. Pretty soon you’ll get a “crease and desist” letter.
For some foriegn-born, non-English speaking writers, English is a dificult language with all of its idiosycrasies in spelling, grammar and syntax. Just ask the British who invented it.
Maybe, just maybe…what we have here is a failure to communicate.
Mr/Mrs/? Anonymous doesn’t seem to have a grasp on any communicative language skillset, other than the ability (albeit, ineffectively)to threaten.
Is it possible that M/M/? Anonymous is incapable of mentally grasping our graphic designs because basic kindergarten skills don’t exist in their culture? And then like a child when deprived of a toy, they throw a tantrum. Or is it a left brain-right brain-total lobotomy thing?(Sorry, I couldn’t come up with an analagy for cover design as a second language.)
I don’t know, but obviously someone’s feelings got hurt. So, I propose we put a moratorium on cynicism and sarcasm on the internet for…Ok, that’s long enough.
Back to your regular programing.
I agree. However, based on my experiences, foreign writers obsess more over grammar and proper English than native English speakers. I don’t know if this writer is a native English speaker or not, and it doesn’t matter. What you wrote is true and at least he/she gave us a good laugh. 😀
It’s so easy to publish things these days. What is unfortunately not so widespread is the concomitant understanding and acceptance that published necessarily means in the public domain, where other people can see it and are free to loathe it and criticise it and poke fun at it as much as they want. If someone doesn’t understand that, they should leave it on their hard drive.
Nathan, look at that. You got yourself a personal villain! From here to being a superhero is only a small step.
But seriously, it reminds me of speeches movie villains do. I’ll read it again in Loki’s voice.
What do you mean? I read ALL my email in Loki’s voice.
Really? I always opt for James Earl Jones voice.
Dear FURIOUS ANONYMOUS
So you’re a tad hurt that Nathan had the temerity to criticize your book cover, are you? Poor you. We probably should ban him and anyone else from dissing it in such a public way, shouldn’t we – especially when it could potentially dent your sales… oh wait, hang on a sec…
Is there a music artist you don’t like? Y’know, some ‘talentless little shit who can’t even SING properly and dresses like a [insert gender-specific insult here] and all their songs are just utter GARBAGE and you hate EVERYTHING THEY’VE EVER DONE…?’ There’s gotta be at least one, right? Have you ever SAID that, publicly, on the internet – even in just a comment somewhere? Betcha have. And YOU probably hurt THEIR sales too, by viciously and nastily expressing your goddamn opinion like that – how dare you! Perhaps they should threaten YOU with ‘Legal consequences,’ you GOD-OF-ALL-RIGHT OVER TASTE IN MUSIC!
*smiles* ‘Cause that’s how it works, see. Publishing a book is a professional thing to do. People aren’t obliged to like your stuff just because it’s yours and you’re proud of it – any more than you’re obliged to like music you hate by artists you hate. Save that money you’re planning to spend on ‘Legal consequences’ and use it instead on making a new, professional-looking cover. That’ll do more for your book sales than any fist-waving ‘see you in court’ threats.
As a fellow author and cover designer, I ask that you never stop doing what you do. I have bought books with bad covers if the blurb was interesting enough but very rarely. This site is the best I’ve found on what NOT to do.
Just for the record– even though my cover was royally trashed, I did not send the anonymous email. I, am, still working on the new cover which should be completed within the next few weeks **insert selfish happy dance to Pharell Williams’ song “Happy” here**