Category - Admin Stuff

Oh, look, another message from Gertrude.

April 17, 2017
Nathan
Admin Stuff
20 Comments

Another message from our favorite fake attorney.

To Whom it May Concern:

Please be advised that the book cover you have posted in the URL below must be removed within 72 hours:

https://lousybookcovers.com/

‘The Hitman’

My clients – well-known Hollywood film celebrities, would like the cover immediately removed from lousybookcovers.com as it depicts them when they were young and just starting out.  Permission was never granted with regards to the use of their likeness.

As such, you have 72 hours to remove this cover from lousybookcovers.com or this office will take action.

Sincerely,

Gertrude Silverstein

Because obviously “Gertrude” isn’t listening to me, I didn’t point out that:

  1. She’s not claiming to legally represent any named entities, thus giving her the right to make demands in their behalf (she doesn’t even put “Esq.” on her name).
  2. But that’s okay, because there’s no “Gertrude Silverstein” listed as an attorney anywhere in the United States anyway.
  3. The cover for The Hitman: Inseparable (the only “Hitman” title on LBC) does not contain any “well-known celebrities.”  It does contain a couple of stock models, including one (the male) that I recognize from a bunch of other covers.  Obviously, as Gertrude doesn’t specify who they are, or if she represents one or both.
  4. Whether they were “young and just starting out” is irrelevant. What would be relevant is whether they signed an appropriate model release with the photographer, who then appropriately licensed it to a stock photo service, who then appropriately licensed it to the ebook publisher.  It’s hard to establish that “permission was never granted” when you don’t even name the clients who supposedly never granted that permission, or who they supposedly didn’t grant it to.
  5. Again, I have no idea what “this office” is, or what action they hope to take. There’s no reference of a particular attorney’s office, or where they’re located, or where the attorney is admitted to the bar, or…
  6. (Or, alternatively, 2a.) While googling “gertrude silverstein attorney” didn’t yield any evidence of legitimacy, it did lead me to one of those “complain about unsolicited phone calls” sites, where someone reported that a caller identifying her as “Gertrude Stein” called, alleged an impending lawsuit, and asked for a credit card number.

But, as I said, “Gertrude” obviously isn’t listening.  So my actual reply was:

We’ve been through this before. Peddle your fake-attorney bullshit somewhere else.

An interesting exchange.

March 4, 2017
Nathan
Admin Stuff
12 Comments

From a couple of weeks ago:

Mr. Shumate:
The cover you’re pushing here as authentic:
https://lousybookcovers.com/?p=11416
was fake.
The real cover can be found here:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6904337.Norm_Augustinus
Or here:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20517281-stump-humper

Best,
Gertrude Silverstein, LLP

Hi Gertrude,

Thanks for writing. What do mean by “fake”?  That was the cover by which it was available for sale on Amazon at the time (the page to which I linked on Amazon at the time is no longer functioning, it seems).
Mr. Shumate:
Be advised: the book cover you have posted on Lousybookcovers.com doesn’t depict the correct title: ‘Stump Hump’ is not ‘Stump Humper’ which is and always was the correct title. The image/bookcover you are presenting as genuine was illegally torrented from the actual essay and retitled (and uploaded to Amazon), and that individual was prosecuted.Gertrude Silverstein, LLP
I see. Well, thanks for the background…
Mr. Shumate:
Please understand that by posting a known counterfeit book cover that you can be prosecuted. As such, you have 72 hours to remove said cover or face legal action by this office and the publisher.
Sincerely,
Gertrude Silverstein, Esq.

 

Gertrude,

Forgive me, but if you’re actually an attorney, you’re a lousy one.

1) You nowhere have cited any attorney-client relationship with the publisher and consequent authority to make demands on the publisher’s behalf. Heck, you don’t even identify the publisher by name.

2) You took THREE messages to me to even mention that you wanted me to take the cover down.

3) You’re asking — excuse me, THREATENING — me to take down a blog post from two and a half years ago, with no legal rationale.  My blog post says that the cover in question was to a book that was for sale at Amazon at that time.  Are you saying that my referencing the fact is somehow illegal?

4) There is no such thing as a “fake” or “counterfeit book cover.”  The fact that the publisher of the work that the cover went to was (by your unsupported assertion) not the copyright holder of the book in question, does not give you any right to curtail the display of the cover — which was, by your own statement, NOT part of the copyrighted material in question.

5) Which is it? Are you “Gertrude Silverstein LLP” or “Gertrude Stein Esq.”?  In what state are you admitted to the bar? What attorney uses a gmail account without any sort of email signature for her “official” email?

I think you better try again at this “acting like an attorney” thing, because this attempt was piss-poor.

(BTW, posing as an attorney to make legals demands constitutes “unauthorized practice of law.” That’s a for-real crime, just so you know.)

There has been no communication since…

As promised/threatened…

February 26, 2016
Nathan
Admin Stuff
17 Comments

…I’ve switched the WordPress site over to a new theme. (You who are following all of this on Tumblr, you have no idea who I’m talking about.)  I’ve still got a couple of tweaks — I can’t get the Gravatars to work in the two-large boxes, and it’s ticking me off — but aside from that, I think it’s pretty much done.

Let the hate-fest begin!

Significantly OT: Read it before you can buy it!

July 13, 2015
Nathan
Admin Stuff
7 Comments

It’s Christmas in July! Coming on July 24th, Cold Fusion Media is releasing The Last Christmas Gift: A Heartwarming Holiday Tale of the Living Dead.

Malcolm’s grandfather is his best friend.

So when Granpap dies on Christmas Eve, Malcolm desperately tries to bring him back by using the cursed fetish doll that Malcolm’s father sent him before disappearing in Vietnam.

But he does something wrong. Granpap revives — but so does everyone in the cemetery across the street.

(Cover reveal later this week.)

I’m looking for a dozen stalwart souls — specifically, the first twelve people to leave a comment here — who want to get the ebook free before you can even buy it! All I ask is that you review it somewhere — Amazon, Facebook, your blog, etc. — in the next two months.  Just let me know your format preference.