Hard Target: The Origin

hardtargetHard Target: The Origin

Quick poll: Which are more horrifying, his eyes or his thighs?

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Wendy Christopher
10 years ago

DEFINITELY the thighs. Unless he’s a satyr.

At the risk of sounding like a perv, though… where are his ‘man-bits?’ I mean, that’s a pretty tight suit he’s wearing – is he actually a doll of some kind?

Ericb
Ericb
10 years ago

And, really, he seems eager to call attention to his groin, what with the arrow pointing to it and all.

James F. Brown
James F. Brown
10 years ago

It’s Ken, of Ken & Barbie, in his secret hero identity. Ken, as all Barbie fan girls know, has no genitalia.

Axolotl
Axolotl
10 years ago

The amazing, lycra-clad, no-gonad Chicken Leg Man!

Sirona
10 years ago

Looks like insect legs–say, a grasshopper. All in the thighs and nuttin’ but sticks below the knee.

Can’t find anything good to say about this. The background image looks like a blurry snapshot of Vegas. The type has a comic-book vibe, but not quite. And the tough guy? He may have Ken’s crotch but he’s got wacky, unmanly proportions everywhere else. The waist/thigh area is all wrong; I don’t think he can have an ass with that arrangement.

LydiaFCG
LydiaFCG
10 years ago

I wondered for a sec if this was a woman, because of the no package thing. And she/he looks a bit pregnant to me. But those thighs and legs! Is it an alien?

DED
DED
10 years ago
Reply to  LydiaFCG

I did too. The black sky around his/her head looked like black hair that wasn’t stuffed into the helmet. And the body contours–chest, abdomen, hips–just struck me as feminine. Has anyone investigated further to validate the gender of the cover hero?

Thighs are definitely creepier.

LydiaFCG
LydiaFCG
10 years ago
Reply to  DED

And the arrow. Maybe it should have “baby” instead of “H” printed on the chest.

Kris
Kris
10 years ago

Fist reaction: remember Steve Martin’s old shtick where he came onstage with a fake arrow through his head? *snicker*

Probably not what the author was going for…

DED
DED
10 years ago
Reply to  Kris

Ha! I remember that. 🙂

john e. . .
10 years ago

Who needs sex when you have a bow?

Take Cover
Take Cover
10 years ago

I was doing OK with this one until I scrolled down as far as the simpering smile. Or whatever that expression is supposed to be.

invader
invader
10 years ago

I wonder if this hero is made out of living clay that would explain the horrible body proportions.

Nancy
Nancy
10 years ago

Why is there an arrow pointing down at his belly button? Isn’t this supposed to be some kind of super hero costume? All it would take is to airbrush that away. Or something.

And, yeah, does he have an, um, appendage, or is he castrated? He’s supposed to be the Hard Target, I guess. But how can he get hard if doesn’t have – oh, nevermind.

Tuula
10 years ago

The Blurb: “From the sins of the father a new superhero is born . . .
Step into the fast-paced world where everything lurks in the shadows, and in that darkness, something will rise to exact vengeance! Witness the rise of a new superhero in Hard Target: The Origin!” Still not sure if male or female: I will guess neither; Origin is a neuter. Even with “something will rise in darkness,” don’t think so naughty!