Oh, yeah. Hairy Jesus. That brings back memories XD. But, Hairy Jesus might be the worst thing on the cover, but this is definitely a worst cover. At least Hairy Jesus designer tried to make it look like an actual book, and obviously some effort went into both image and the font. This guy is basically saying “Fuck you, I’m too fabulous for a cover.”
Hairy Jesus seems more like a ridiculous accident. I don’t think anyone could make something this disturbing on anything but pure, unadulterated Purpose.
I do my best to block out most of the covers on this site so I can sleep nightmare-free, and I’ve probably done the same with the hairy Jesus.
But, I’m not just talking about the level of disturbing (which is so high that I can’t even look at this without wanting to gauge my eyes out). The cover is beyond instamatic: instamatic is when I take my cell phone, open my window and snap a pic of my street to put on an erotic thriller cover. But putting your creepy naked self on the cover (and we know he’s naked even though he didn’t include his ass because he explicitly told us in several places) is an entire new category. It’s something this guy needs to discuss in private with his psychiatrist. And as if that isn’t bad enough, he went through the trouble to squish his instamatic photo. Why, FFS? Does he think it makes him thinner?
But what earns him the gold medal of craptastic is that the main character in this book is twelve years old. 12. Not only that his creepy naked face doesn’t fit the theme of a twelve-year-old fighting man-eating aliens, but I imagine he must have been aware that a book with a kid as a main character might interest a fair amount of kids, and he thought the right way to attract them was by his creepy naked self.
Everything about this book is like a new level of Sick And Wrong.
Seamyst
8 years ago
That’s the author, just in case there was any doubt.
Also, he’s apparently very, uh, eager, to make sure you understand he writes nudist horror. Nudist. Got that? Are you sure? (He uses “nudist” or some variant four times in two short paragraphs, in the link to this book.)
And the protagonist is a 12-year-old. Why would he think it’s a good idea to put his naked creepy self on a cover where the main character is a child? Looking at his other covers, this one is even tame. UGH.
I vote this the worst cover to date. Even worse than the one with hand drawn title and weirdly drawn hand.
@ Catie
You might have a short memory. The infamous “Hairy Jesus” cover is, IMHO, the worst to-date.
But there’s always hope that tomorrow will bring a new nadir in lousy book covers!
Which book is “Hairy Jesus”? I just found this site recently, I’m not acquainted w the classics yet.
Believe me, you don’t wanna know!
(I’ll see if I can find the link and post it.)
Hairy Jesus graces the cover of “Onio” by Linell Jeppsen, Lousy Book Covers 9/15/2013
My God. That cover is so bad it’s almost an art form. And this one STILL might be worse! :O
Oh, yeah. Hairy Jesus. That brings back memories XD. But, Hairy Jesus might be the worst thing on the cover, but this is definitely a worst cover. At least Hairy Jesus designer tried to make it look like an actual book, and obviously some effort went into both image and the font. This guy is basically saying “Fuck you, I’m too fabulous for a cover.”
Hairy Jesus seems more like a ridiculous accident. I don’t think anyone could make something this disturbing on anything but pure, unadulterated Purpose.
I do my best to block out most of the covers on this site so I can sleep nightmare-free, and I’ve probably done the same with the hairy Jesus.
But, I’m not just talking about the level of disturbing (which is so high that I can’t even look at this without wanting to gauge my eyes out). The cover is beyond instamatic: instamatic is when I take my cell phone, open my window and snap a pic of my street to put on an erotic thriller cover. But putting your creepy naked self on the cover (and we know he’s naked even though he didn’t include his ass because he explicitly told us in several places) is an entire new category. It’s something this guy needs to discuss in private with his psychiatrist. And as if that isn’t bad enough, he went through the trouble to squish his instamatic photo. Why, FFS? Does he think it makes him thinner?
But what earns him the gold medal of craptastic is that the main character in this book is twelve years old. 12. Not only that his creepy naked face doesn’t fit the theme of a twelve-year-old fighting man-eating aliens, but I imagine he must have been aware that a book with a kid as a main character might interest a fair amount of kids, and he thought the right way to attract them was by his creepy naked self.
Ugh, ugh, ugh! What a creep!
@ Catie
A NAMBLA member?
I doubt he did it deliberately. This thing smells more like it’s done by someone who hadn’t really thought this through.
Almost makes you feel bad for him if he realizes what a mistake it is, cos its kinda like a permanent stain now
Everything about this book is like a new level of Sick And Wrong.
That’s the author, just in case there was any doubt.
Also, he’s apparently very, uh, eager, to make sure you understand he writes nudist horror. Nudist. Got that? Are you sure? (He uses “nudist” or some variant four times in two short paragraphs, in the link to this book.)
And the protagonist is a 12-year-old. Why would he think it’s a good idea to put his naked creepy self on a cover where the main character is a child? Looking at his other covers, this one is even tame. UGH.
Ugh, as bad as this is, it would be much worse if it were a picture of a naked 12-year-old.
True.
Well he got the “horror” part right. :O That cover can’t be unseen.
Um, Nathan, can you go back to posting dinosaur erotica covers? They’re much less disturbing than this guy. I’m going to have nightmares tonight.
He… he has a lot of books with himself on the cover.
Is his photo just badly squeezed PhotoShop.. or is he really a pinhead?
OMG
HOW I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS.
I’ve actually had to do real work at work the past 6-8 weeks and I haven’t laughed like this in a while.
What a friggin’ pinhead!