Just what am I looking at? And what kind of reader is this cover aimed at? Someone with major vision problems and a penchant for ghostly dragons that live in holes in the ground next to underground ponds reflecting non-existent ladies?
And the dude with the paper knife (as in a knife made of paper, not a knife for cutting paper) – what’s his story? Has he spent the majority of his life (so far) chomping on fish and cursing that nasty thief Baggins?
Paul Chernoch
8 years ago
I love all your comments! They say that all publicity is good publicity, so thanks for your help.
“Take Cover” was on target. This dragon has severe problems with body odor from eating so much fish (as John E) presciently hypothesized and has a malodorous taste in perfume, so the refinement part was meant to be sarcastic. The dragon is a she, but sexing dragons is difficult so I won’t hold it against you. As for the paper knife, A hero in my second novel did use a storm of paper knives to wipe out an army, but this knife is actually carved from a dragon tooth. (Yeah, I would use a lot of toothpaste on it first if I were going to use it, but I doubt that Shoroko did.)
As for your vision problems, one elder dragon with a patch over one eye was miraculously healed by the heroine. However, his renewed sight and vigor was accompanied by youthful folly and he made a pass at a lady dragon much younger than he, nearly ruining everything.
And sneaky Burrito, the headache you feel is probably sympathetic pain from watching the dragon hunter jump down and plunge his knife into the poor, defenseless lady dragon’s head.
As for the non-existent lady in the pool, that is supposed to symbolize the fact that a poor Chinese American lady signed up with the wrong online dating service, which promised that she’d meet her soulmate, but didn’t guarantee that her own soul would stay in its original body.
But you are probably right – software engineers should stick to programming and leave the illustrating to professionals, like the one I hired who sent a few sketches, then bailed on me without finishing the job. Next time, I’ll consult you guys before I publish. Or not. I could end up using your jokes in my next story.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/cover14.jpg)
Casper the Too-Friendly Ghost is a Peeping Tom…
Oh, wait, maybe he’s looking for the dragon. Better try another cover, Casper.
A maze of random images circling down a cavernous sinkhole. Is that the Dragon of the Sewer?
Perhaps it’s a moist dragon. And he’s not refined at all.
Trying to focus on that cover is giving me a headache.
Just what am I looking at? And what kind of reader is this cover aimed at? Someone with major vision problems and a penchant for ghostly dragons that live in holes in the ground next to underground ponds reflecting non-existent ladies?
And the dude with the paper knife (as in a knife made of paper, not a knife for cutting paper) – what’s his story? Has he spent the majority of his life (so far) chomping on fish and cursing that nasty thief Baggins?
I love all your comments! They say that all publicity is good publicity, so thanks for your help.
“Take Cover” was on target. This dragon has severe problems with body odor from eating so much fish (as John E) presciently hypothesized and has a malodorous taste in perfume, so the refinement part was meant to be sarcastic. The dragon is a she, but sexing dragons is difficult so I won’t hold it against you. As for the paper knife, A hero in my second novel did use a storm of paper knives to wipe out an army, but this knife is actually carved from a dragon tooth. (Yeah, I would use a lot of toothpaste on it first if I were going to use it, but I doubt that Shoroko did.)
As for your vision problems, one elder dragon with a patch over one eye was miraculously healed by the heroine. However, his renewed sight and vigor was accompanied by youthful folly and he made a pass at a lady dragon much younger than he, nearly ruining everything.
And sneaky Burrito, the headache you feel is probably sympathetic pain from watching the dragon hunter jump down and plunge his knife into the poor, defenseless lady dragon’s head.
As for the non-existent lady in the pool, that is supposed to symbolize the fact that a poor Chinese American lady signed up with the wrong online dating service, which promised that she’d meet her soulmate, but didn’t guarantee that her own soul would stay in its original body.
But you are probably right – software engineers should stick to programming and leave the illustrating to professionals, like the one I hired who sent a few sketches, then bailed on me without finishing the job. Next time, I’ll consult you guys before I publish. Or not. I could end up using your jokes in my next story.
– the author and (not so illustrious) illustrator