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Catie
Catie
9 years ago

Nothing surprises me anymore 🙁

But some things still confuse me. Can someone answer me, please:

1. What’s that mush at the top, above the author’s name? Looks like very blurry treetops.
1.a. More importantly, WHY is it there?
2. Is that supposed to look like a window? White frame on a blue house? Seriously? Oh, Romeo, my Romeo, WTF is wrong with your window?
3. Is it a turning novel about vampires or a novel about turning into a vampire? Or about a vampire that’s turning into something else? Why do people who don’t know how to be precise and clear think they can write?

BTW, Nathan, now I have this song playing in my head. Thanks >__>

Kris
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

HA! And then it turned out to be Lance from N’Sync…

Viergacht
Viergacht
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

A white and gold frame that doesn’t match a blue and black house, hmmm . . . .

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Chuck Tingle is my new idol.

john e. . .
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

No kidding.

Chuck has it figured out: the money formula.

john e. . .
9 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

Apparently, I malformed that URL, or something.

Here is the formula to getting rich.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

I think this one takes the cake: http://www.amazon.ca/Pounded-Butt-My-Book-Own-ebook/dp/B00VDRUI5Q/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1429730886&sr=1-4

It’s applying a formula to a formula. Inception.

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

I honestly don’t know if Chuck Tingle is legitimately serious, or is just making the craziest short stories ever just to laugh.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

After that one, there’s no way he’s serious.

Wesley
Wesley
9 years ago

I think this is a badly cropped image of the Bates’ Mansion from “Psycho”, with Donnie pasted over ‘Mother’. You also gotta love how they didn’t have the patience (skill/capability) to remove the black background from around Corset Girl…

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago

Who hangs a picture outside their house? I mean, sunlight, weather, bird poop, are hard on pictures.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

Maybe it’s a picture of a vampire, so he might burn in the sunlight?

Hitch
9 years ago

This one is just awful. For different reasons than the usual awful, but still…the girl is, well, not nattractive. Completely turned away from the audience, not even giving us Good Back. The 1950’s guy in the…window/picture frame, who looks sorta like a neutered Ricky Nelson, contrasted with the 90’s-grunge-faux-corset shredded T-shirt girl. (Does anyone think that might be Phoebe on the cover, suffering from Laurell K. Hamilton-it is?)

Man. And I’m definitely with Catie on the weird-ass watery, mushy, whatthehellisthat stuff at the top.

Oh, yeah, and 3 fonts. Using that title font should actually require that the cover designer have to sit over at CakeWrecks and decorate cakes with a piping tube as punishment.

john e. . .
9 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

Cake decorating – perfect punishment for font-abusers!

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago

Morning after effect, coming back to this, opening image in new tab, ctrl-+ zooming in. Like going back and examining a wreck scene photo close up, asking how and why and how could such things be prevented?

The framed picture of the guy is pasted over the window and the balcony and the slooped roof beneath the balcony. It does not look like the guy is in the window of the house. The framed picture is just floating in the air outside the house.

There is a square black cutoff to the left side of the house, and a L shaped paste-on of the girl with a darkgrey background. I guess she is supposed to look like an alt-rock-Goth vampiress. I see a faux biker babe for an ad in a “Easyriders” magazine ripoff.

House, guy, gal are lit with different light intensity, from different directions. The elements have different granularity of focus. Real ransom note vibe.

[Does give me a plot idea about a 1950s squeaky clean teen image guy who became a vampire and today stalks unsuspecting Goth gals.]

Viergacht
Viergacht
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

I would probably read your book, Naaman.

john e. . .
9 years ago

I don’t know what you guys are complaining about. It totally looks like that dude is hanging out that window waiting – nay – LUSTING – for Juliet . . . or Phoebe . . . or any goth chick vampire wannabe.