Presenting: The Fifth Annual Lousies Awardees!

All seven of the categories I mentioned in my post on the final ballot had at least one “winner” in this contest, although in the case of the “You call this a cover?” and “Where the hell is the title!?” categories, it was that same cover, #5. So, that’s what #5 is called: The Beat Of The Wolf’s Dying Heart: Climate Change Meets Artificial Intelligence (AI) (Future Fliers Book 2); would’ve been nice to have at least part of that title somewhere on the cover (not that it would have been much of an improvement, but still)! Meanwhile, some of them, like the “Augh! My eyes!” and “That’s a real mouthful…” categories had multiple “winners” in this contest (and now that I’ve taken a closer look at it, I think Petit Ruri belongs in the “Who barfed?” category along with The Great Celestial War).

On the “winners” in general:

#10 (5 votes): The Great Celestial War actually looks slightly better at full size than in thumbnail, but… well, nearly every prospective reader’s going to see the thumbnail first, and at that size, it has me asking “Who barfed?”
#9 (6 votes): This is actually one of the few I didn’t expect to “win” although it’s certainly as wretched a cover as many others. Seems #9 and #10 are what edged out two of the “You call this a cover?” covers on the final ballot despite their receiving 5 votes apiece.
#8 (7 votes): As I remarked at the time when our esteemed host accidentally re-posted this cover, the previous time, it hadn’t garnered enough comments to be nominated for a Lousy, so I guess you could consider this “Let’s throw another cover on it!” piece to be the little cover that could (but really shouldn’t have).
#7 (7 votes): “Augh! My eyes!” Enough said!
#6 (7 votes): This one falls into three of the categories I mentioned in my post, “Who barfed?” and “Augh! My eyes! and “That’s a real mouthful…” as well as being a pretty obvious (and shameless) case of search algorithm whoring.
#5 (7 votes): As mentioned, this is the cover the designer apparently decided didn’t need to have a title on it or look anything like an actual book cover.
#4 (9 votes): As I told our esteemed host when alerting him to the existence of this cover on this site’s “submit a cover” form, Catherine Douglass went all Maximilian St. John on us with this cover; i.e. in addition to her rather poor command of English, she insisted on giving her lesbian erotica a long title and then translating it into Swahili for the subtitle! That probably explains why it “won” with three times as many votes as (previous triple-“winner”) Maximilian S. John and (redundant title user) Hibshman Henry’s wordy finalist entries combined this year.
#3 (10 votes): The reason this entry clearly done with crayons got 10 votes while the similarly childishly drawn cover of Siege of Lance only got 2? The Quest For The Elemental Gods‘ title is also very difficult to see, having evidently been scribbled on it with either a pen that was nearly out of ink or a pencil.
#2 (13 votes): This bit of foul-mouthed mind-vomit clearly signals the designer (who is probably also the author) to be mentally ill. Fun fact: while this is the only book of this particular author to have (somehow) made its way onto Amazon, Benjamin Schmidt has in fact published more than two dozen books on Lulu.com (along with this one), which all appear—from their covers alone—to be the product of a diseased mind, though some more so than others.
#1 (13 votes): I’m guessing the reason this edged out Petit Ruri to be #1 is because it got so many votes first. As with “winner” #7, “Augh! My eyes!” is about all that needs to be said of it.

(By the way, esteemed host, now that the contest is over, shouldn’t these results be what’s pinned at the top of the site rather than the final ballot?)

(Agree with RK’s addendum, pin this post to the top please)