How do you cut out, reduce, and repaste one of the model’s eyes to fit inside the V and still not realize you have no idea how to format a book cover?
Also, would it kill USA Today to have standards?
What in the name of all that’s holy is going on below his…what, belt? There? Where it looks as though his upper body is being propped up on cloth-covered 2×4’s? Or…whut? Whut the hell is that all meant to be?
The cloth-covered 2×4 seems a scabbard; while if looked closely enough past the glowing title, it can be noticed he’s wearing blue jeans kinda blending in with the background.
And here I thought my Champions RPG hero, “Phlegm Boy”, was gross…
Ian
2 years ago
Bland
War Goat
2 years ago
I suppose the author’s name is what draws readers to most romance novels (like Danielle Steele), which is why it always seems that the byline is bigger than the title on these books. Who needs compelling art when you can just paste a name over everything?
Also, I find “de Wolfe Pack” a bit forced and cheesy. I can’t read it without hearing it in a Caribbean accent. Man, now I want to get a Red Stripe and shout, “Hooraaay beer!”
LPlatePen
2 years ago
I’m assuming it’s the FONT that has highlights on it, and not that this guy has glowing testicles? Please say that’s right…
The glowy testicles are genuinely special. Right up there with the peculiarly-laid-out eyes. Apparently, this cover designer or author has a thing for paired items–eyes, balls, you name it.
red
1 year ago
It took a while, but I finally figured out who the face reminds me of.
it’s much easier to see in the thumbnail size iMage on thE Lousies nominations. on that paGe, the darker (wIder) part of his face isn’t as visiBle, making the resemblance eaSier tO see behiNd the “v” (it probably isn’t really him, though).
That’s funny. I was a pretty good fan of his, during his Mummy days (when he was fit) and to me, that face doesn’t look like him at all. Other than brown hair and a stubbled, somewhat-pointy chin. Oh, well.
It doesn’t look quite like the other guy, either. But I did enjoy Fraser’s Mummy-era movies.
(Note that the identity of the other guy is steganographically hidden in a top-secret encrypted message in my previous post. In order to prevent compromising his identity, I can neither confirm nor deny that his code name is “Mad Max.”)
Me too. I really liked those movies. I wasn’t wild about the one without the British chick, (Weisz) even though I innately prefer the actress that took her place (most of the time), but, there was no chemistry between her and Fraser, nor with the lad meant to be their grown son. It killed a lot of the film and of course, the plot sucked. LOL!
How do you cut out, reduce, and repaste one of the model’s eyes to fit inside the V and still not realize you have no idea how to format a book cover?
Also, would it kill USA Today to have standards?
What in the name of all that’s holy is going on below his…what, belt? There? Where it looks as though his upper body is being propped up on cloth-covered 2×4’s? Or…whut? Whut the hell is that all meant to be?
Not looking! I’m not looking.
The cloth-covered 2×4 seems a scabbard; while if looked closely enough past the glowing title, it can be noticed he’s wearing blue jeans kinda blending in with the background.
Unhunh. Doesn’t quite explain the Glowy Balls Phenomenon, though…(see @LPlatePen’s comments, below!)
Bitten by a radioactive spider… IN THE JUNK.
MWAHAHAHAHHA. Does that mean that his spooge is sticky?
If you see someone swinging between skyscrapers from his groin…
OMG, that did it. I LOL’ed, literally, at envisioning that. The angle of the dangle would surely be speshul.
And here I thought my Champions RPG hero, “Phlegm Boy”, was gross…
Bland
I suppose the author’s name is what draws readers to most romance novels (like Danielle Steele), which is why it always seems that the byline is bigger than the title on these books. Who needs compelling art when you can just paste a name over everything?
Also, I find “de Wolfe Pack” a bit forced and cheesy. I can’t read it without hearing it in a Caribbean accent. Man, now I want to get a Red Stripe and shout, “Hooraaay beer!”
I’m assuming it’s the FONT that has highlights on it, and not that this guy has glowing testicles? Please say that’s right…
The glowy testicles are genuinely special. Right up there with the peculiarly-laid-out eyes. Apparently, this cover designer or author has a thing for paired items–eyes, balls, you name it.
It took a while, but I finally figured out who the face reminds me of.
Brendan Fraser?
it’s much easier to see in the thumbnail size iMage on thE Lousies nominations. on that paGe, the darker (wIder) part of his face isn’t as visiBle, making the resemblance eaSier tO see behiNd the “v” (it probably isn’t really him, though).
That’s funny. I was a pretty good fan of his, during his Mummy days (when he was fit) and to me, that face doesn’t look like him at all. Other than brown hair and a stubbled, somewhat-pointy chin. Oh, well.
BEFORE he was Blubber Fraser, that is….
> that face doesn’t look like him at all
It doesn’t look quite like the other guy, either. But I did enjoy Fraser’s Mummy-era movies.
(Note that the identity of the other guy is steganographically hidden in a top-secret encrypted message in my previous post. In order to prevent compromising his identity, I can neither confirm nor deny that his code name is “Mad Max.”)
Me too. I really liked those movies. I wasn’t wild about the one without the British chick, (Weisz) even though I innately prefer the actress that took her place (most of the time), but, there was no chemistry between her and Fraser, nor with the lad meant to be their grown son. It killed a lot of the film and of course, the plot sucked. LOL!