“You’ve reached the voicemail of God. For Prayers, push 2; for entreaties for intervention, press 3. For general good intentions, like World Peace, press 4. For those of you praying perfunctorily, press 5 (so I can skip listening to you and register solely that you did). Those of you praying for hellfire or brimstone, PLEASE press 6–I love your stuff.
For those with a need to reach me directly–and you better be dying, bro–please press the big button you see before you in the sky there.
For politicians, please press 9, which is a direct line to the Morningstar.
Isn’t that a bullseye? That’s false flagging!
I’m pretty sure that’s the button you press on a smartphone to start video recording.
“You’ve reached the voicemail of God. For Prayers, push 2; for entreaties for intervention, press 3. For general good intentions, like World Peace, press 4. For those of you praying perfunctorily, press 5 (so I can skip listening to you and register solely that you did). Those of you praying for hellfire or brimstone, PLEASE press 6–I love your stuff.
For those with a need to reach me directly–and you better be dying, bro–please press the big button you see before you in the sky there.
For politicians, please press 9, which is a direct line to the Morningstar.
Thank you.”