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Viergacht
Viergacht
9 years ago

So, the president is actually two pigeons? The truth shall set us free.

Ben
Ben
9 years ago

When I first saw the title, my immediate reaction was literally to exclaim aloud, “What?!” Then I scrolled down and saw the cover, and I was like, “WHAT?!”

I…I…I’m speechless. I feel like I’m at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey. I have literally reached the edge of bad book covers, and can go no further…

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago
Reply to  Ben

I feel like being at the start of [i]2010: The year we make contact[/i] only the first impression is “My God! It’s full of pigeon poop!”

DED
DED
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

LOL!

Catie
Catie
9 years ago

What the hell am I looking at? What is wrong with that poor pigeon on the left? A bad trip to the hairdresser? And those legs… What do these pigeons have to do with Barack Obama? I’m so confused.

I feel sorry for the artist. His art isn’t that bad, but he’s wasting his talent on an author that has no idea what to do with it and probably doesn’t even care enough to make it look decent. Maybe if someone showed him an actual book…

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

The pigeon on the left has inflated his crop (throat) either as a mating ritual or to scare off a rival.

What are those pigeons standing on? is my question. Are they on different roofs? Or an abstract sculpture of some sort?

As to what pigeons have to do with Barack Obama, that is a Chicago thing that outsiders will never understand.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

The artist seems to be skilled enough when drawing from reference but lacks the ability to compose the components together in regards to perspective and 3D depth. Pretty much like myself, actually. But that’s why I don’t draw book cover art.

Grackle
Grackle
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

The left pigeon is actually a special show variety known as a Pouter. The poor things are actually bred like that, with a high, grossly-inflated crop and long, long legs with feathers that grow over their feet. The pigeon on the right is a pretty standard variety of feral Rock Pigeon that we all know from cities.

…I don’t think this clears anything up in regards to Obama, though.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago

Can someone please translate the blurb into English for me? I don’t understand a word.

“What America needs is a super hero to help us conquer adversity– I’m introducing Nanoman.to help President Obama keep his campaign promise of change! There are people in the Americas once cursed by the “Almighty of Heaven.” All the Earth has been denied their prayers for 400 years.

The “Remnant” mentioned in our Holy Bibles was thought lost and must now awaken and acknowledge their heritage.”

I’ve tried reading the long description. My brain hurts.

jic
jic
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

I liked the bit that said:

“People still think that Israel was enslaved in Egypt for 400 years but it was only approximately 350.”

It seems like this guy was a teacher and assistant principal in the Chicago public school system for over thirty years. That’s kind of scary.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  jic

I found that bit funny too. While I was reading it, I kinda expected it to say “it wasn’t 400 but only 35” or something like that. But only approximately 350? Is approximately 50 years difference really that big of a deal? And what does approximately mean in this case exactly? Could it be approximately 50 years more or less? Some people have no idea what they’re actually saying, which is especially tragic if those people are trying to be writers. Writers are supposed to be clear and concise. And this guy was a teacher? That’s freaking scary. His books, I can take them or leave them (mostly leave them), but I feel sorry for the poor kids who were forced to suffer through his confusing nonsense. I seriously hope he was a shop teacher and not English lit or history or anything where making verbal sense was important.

Kris
9 years ago

Some covers are too bad to even comment on. And they are generally attached to authors of like quality.

jic
jic
9 years ago
Reply to  Kris

And they’e generally on Smashwords. I mean yes, obviously there is some stuff on Amazon that never should have been published; but the worst, most incompetent, most delusional writers always seem to end up on Smashwords.

James F. Brown
James F. Brown
9 years ago

Today, anybody can publish on the Internet.

Alas, anybody has! 🙁

RK
RK
9 years ago

The “curse” is apparently what gives us the likes of C. Edward Miller.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  RK

It’s the curse of self-publishing.

L-Plate Pen
L-Plate Pen
9 years ago

The pigeon on the left is being hit in the face by a tennis ball – possibly thrown by Obama? Is THIS PIGEON responsible for the Curse of Black America? It’s clearly not a normal pigeon – look at those Betty Grable-esque legs! What kind of Brazilian wax did that pigeon have?

Anonymous
Anonymous
9 years ago

Is the blonde, spray-tanned pigeon flattened by a train named ‘Barack’?