Poor Defenseless Addie

poor

Poor Defenseless Addie

I know how she feels.

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Catie
Catie
9 years ago

I’m speechless.

James F. Brown
James F. Brown
9 years ago

Well, the apples (or whatever they Hell they are) aren’t falling far from the tree, are they?

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago

I think we, the viewing public, are the ‘Addie’ in this case.

Hitch
9 years ago

Well, crap.

1. I read the description. I just want to say, NANOWRIMO has a lot to answer for;
2. The AMAZING part is that this author has made it through what is purportedly now 7 books, and hasn’t learned to write any better than this;
3. Is the whole “apples falling from the tree” supposed to mean that..what, the abuser’s mother abused him when he was a boy? The apple doesn’t fall far from…well, y’know.
4. Those purple Bauhania blossoms look really freaking depressed to me.
5. Is that apple tree blooming multi-colored apples? Red, green, yellow, or has this cover finally caused me to have that long-awaited psychotic break?

And just…AGHGHGHGHGHGHGH! It’s not as bad as Joel the Prophet, or whatever, and his missing prognostications or (insert whatever here), but…sheesh! Lady, hire an EDITOR (or at least a proofreader) and a cover designer. Take pity on Poor Defenseless US.

Kris
Kris
9 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

NaNoWriMo only says write 50,000 words in 30 days. Nowhere does it say those words have to make sense. OBVIOUSLY 😉

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago
Reply to  Kris

Or be connected to each other!
Watermelons! Happy! Jewel! And! Moist! (Only 49995 words to go!)

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Actually, the “novel” part of National Novel Writing Month kinda implies that they do. But make sense? No. Especially since a lot of them have ninjas, zombies and pirates. In the same novel.

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

They could save so many words by just making the main character a Zombie Ninja Pirate.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Nooooo… NaNoWriMo isn’t about saving words, it’s about adding them! It could work, though, if you make the main character Zombie Ninja Pirate Queen Mary Anne Sue Von Kartenshtoffen the Magnificent and write the full title EVERY TIME the Zombie Ninja Pirate Queen Mary Anne Sue Von Kartenshtoffen the Magnificent character is mentioned. You’d reach 50k in no time.

ASwan
ASwan
9 years ago
Reply to  Hitch

Hey now…NaNoWriMo isn’t the problem. It’s people thinking that they don’t have to edit or critically evaluate their own work that’s the problem.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  ASwan

I don’t think anyone remotely sane would publish a NaNoWriMo novel as is. I’ve seen a couple of them (not to mention written ^_^;), and they’re a far greater mess than your regular first draft. Just the number of spelling errors is insane. I think the far greater problem here is that some authors don’t use any outside help at all, no editors, no critique groups, no critique partners, no beta readers, no proofreaders… Not only that they don’t get any objective feedback on their work, there’s also no one to catch typos.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago
Reply to  Catie

Abandon all hope as long as you have folks involved in indie small press companies who blogpost complaining “I can spell, I can construct a simple sentence. But, I’m going to have grammar errors and I know all the lovely little grammar nazi’s of the world will make my life hell for that.” We ought to start a GiveForward fundraiser to donate copies of Strunk & White to the grammar-deprived as NanoWriMo 2015 lurks in far off November.

Catie
Catie
9 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

The thing about NaNoWriMo is that you DON’T spellcheck. There is no time. If you spellcheck or edit, you’re not going to make it in time, unless you’re a machine that can churn 3k words in an hour (freaks like that do exist). It’s deliberately made that way. The purpose of NaNoWriMo is not to make you write a novel in 30 days, it’s to teach you how to make a first draft by simply writing it, not constantly tweaking every freaking sentence and wasting hours looking for the right word. So you turn the spellchecker off during November. It might sound crazy, but it’s a good system. A spellchecker is a distraction from writing. I’ve tried to keep that practice in all my writing, not just NaNoWriMo, simply because more writing gets done. Of course, a text like that is going to have more errors than a text that was written with a spellchecker on (and in less of a hurry), but you knew that going in. You knew that you were going to have to spend a bit more effort than usual in chasing down all those typos. But it all pays out because you get the first draft done much faster, and the style and voice is usually more consistent because it’s all written ‘in one sitting’ so to say.

People who blogpost things like that, they’re not going to properly edit the text whether it’s NaNoWriMo or not, they just don’t think it’s necessary. If you care about your writing, it doesn’t matter if it’s going to take two passes or fifty passes of editing, you’re going to edit it until you’re satisfied with it (and odds are you’ll never be completely satisfied, but at some point, you’ll just have to let it go). Sloppy writers, they just don’t care to put in that much effort. Their ‘finished’ product will always look like something out of NaNoWriMo, whether it is or not. Those Strunk & White, you’d have to beat them over the head with it–not to teach them grammar, but to make them change their frame of mind.

Viergacht
Viergacht
9 years ago

What a lovely tumor tree.

invader
invader
9 years ago

I can’t stop seeing the white orbs as eyes.

invader
invader
9 years ago

Furthermore I don’t see anything that even whispers mystery here.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
9 years ago
Reply to  invader

That’s … the mystery … lurking … out of sight.

Anonymous
Anonymous
9 years ago

… had to see this cover.