As if this cover weren’t bad enough, all on its own, you gotta read the description. Between the short bit (oh, orcs! There’s no end to the creativity there!) and the long description, it sounds like someone took 20 sentences and mixed them up in the Cuisinart. Apparently, the writer can’t decide if the action is taking place now, or 1,000 years in the past of the fantasy world, but, bygod, a thousand years later, we know one thing: it’s the time of Amborese.
Oh, right, the cover: I have no idea what the medieval, blurry cover is supposed to represent, other than: bunch of medieval dudes, one on an apparently headless horse, are riding through the forest. Behind some guy with a lion-head on his noggin, who appears to be standing in a ditch. And does this cover also have the Vaseline treatment?????
“1,000 years before the birth of Amborese is a far greater story.” That’s basically like saying “my other story sucks”. And it makes little sense since this one is supposed to be the first in the series. “After this one comes a story that sucks.”
It could be because I’m partial to fantasy, but all things considered, this is probably the first book on LBC that I’d actually consider reading. Can’t say exactly why, though.
Impressive 😀 I fail only on three 🙁 Mostly because I’m too lazy to come up with a good substitute for mana. What kind of fantasy am I writing if I can’t even hit the most common cliches? I must be doing something wrong 🙁
The title makes no sense. There should be a colon or something in there.
At least all the books in the series have the same visual identity. The last one is rather good, or at least it would’ve been if the artist hadn’t ruined it by adding the obviously filtered in cat. They all have a certain “I’m not really a pro but I’m trying very hard” charm to them. It’s like the designer knows what needs to be done, just lacks the skills to do it (as opposed to your typical LBC that looks like the designer has never seen a book in his life). From all the books I’ve seen here, this one I might actually consider reading, even if the story does sound a little cliche (but what isn’t cliche these days?).
It kinda looks like a blurry picture of a forest with some cardboard cutouts photographed in front. The white horse in front looks like it has one leg and…is that a cat on its head? Oh, don’t stare at that head too long, the geometry looks wrong. But yeah, the guy with the “paint fill” beard is classy.
EricL
9 years ago
It looks like a gopher has turned carnivore in that bit behind the author’s name.
The cover has a certain charm to it, if only it wasn’t blurry.
invader
9 years ago
I am wondering what is up with that random cat on the horses head, and is that a phoenix or a parrot on that staff thing. The Guy with the lion skin looks bored, or pissed off by the possible singing they have had to endure.
red
9 years ago
I’m guessing that the three people with red hair are named Red the Magnificent, Little Red, and Blue.
Naaman Brown
9 years ago
The black cat sitting on the horse’s head kinda tests my willing suspension of disbelief.
It looks suspiciously like artwork or a photograph stolen from something else with filters and MS Paint crap applied to it in an attempt to disguise the copyright violation trail.
Ben
9 years ago
Argh! This is sad to me, because I otherwise don’t mind the artwork too much, and the banner where the title goes is nice, but…yeah, that stupid MS Paint beard on the guy at the bottom, and the fact they used Wild West font for the title…blarghies.
As if this cover weren’t bad enough, all on its own, you gotta read the description. Between the short bit (oh, orcs! There’s no end to the creativity there!) and the long description, it sounds like someone took 20 sentences and mixed them up in the Cuisinart. Apparently, the writer can’t decide if the action is taking place now, or 1,000 years in the past of the fantasy world, but, bygod, a thousand years later, we know one thing: it’s the time of Amborese.
Oh, right, the cover: I have no idea what the medieval, blurry cover is supposed to represent, other than: bunch of medieval dudes, one on an apparently headless horse, are riding through the forest. Behind some guy with a lion-head on his noggin, who appears to be standing in a ditch. And does this cover also have the Vaseline treatment?????
My eyes, they bleed….
“1,000 years before the birth of Amborese is a far greater story.” That’s basically like saying “my other story sucks”. And it makes little sense since this one is supposed to be the first in the series. “After this one comes a story that sucks.”
It could be because I’m partial to fantasy, but all things considered, this is probably the first book on LBC that I’d actually consider reading. Can’t say exactly why, though.
I am betting they didn’t pass this test! (in fact they didn’t. They fail on #39)
http://rinkworks.com/fnovel/
Try as they might they will never beat my record. I have the official high score on this test with an impressive score of 48 out of 75.
Great list, Waffles. My books falter much earlier, since one set is a trilogy and both series have folks “coming of age”, oh well.
I think you still can squeak by with just a few checkmarks… Or like myself… All of them But on purpose.
Impressive 😀 I fail only on three 🙁 Mostly because I’m too lazy to come up with a good substitute for mana. What kind of fantasy am I writing if I can’t even hit the most common cliches? I must be doing something wrong 🙁
Does 9 count if the god has amnesia?
Amnesia gods are par for the course.
The title makes no sense. There should be a colon or something in there.
At least all the books in the series have the same visual identity. The last one is rather good, or at least it would’ve been if the artist hadn’t ruined it by adding the obviously filtered in cat. They all have a certain “I’m not really a pro but I’m trying very hard” charm to them. It’s like the designer knows what needs to be done, just lacks the skills to do it (as opposed to your typical LBC that looks like the designer has never seen a book in his life). From all the books I’ve seen here, this one I might actually consider reading, even if the story does sound a little cliche (but what isn’t cliche these days?).
It does sound as if the legends have lost poor Tesnayr. I hope they find the poor bloke!
you all do realize that Tesnayr is an anagram for “nasty-er,” right? Granted, it ought to be nastier, but…
Could also be Nest ray. Raynest. Ray Nets. Sten Ray (just swap out that e for a u, and you could be on to something)….Nay, rest!
That was not something that came to mind, no. 😀 It is good to know though.
It kinda looks like a blurry picture of a forest with some cardboard cutouts photographed in front. The white horse in front looks like it has one leg and…is that a cat on its head? Oh, don’t stare at that head too long, the geometry looks wrong. But yeah, the guy with the “paint fill” beard is classy.
It looks like a gopher has turned carnivore in that bit behind the author’s name.
The cover has a certain charm to it, if only it wasn’t blurry.
I am wondering what is up with that random cat on the horses head, and is that a phoenix or a parrot on that staff thing. The Guy with the lion skin looks bored, or pissed off by the possible singing they have had to endure.
I’m guessing that the three people with red hair are named Red the Magnificent, Little Red, and Blue.
The black cat sitting on the horse’s head kinda tests my willing suspension of disbelief.
You have all missed the most important, and indeed, selling-est point about this cover.
Danny Kaye, people!
Danny. Fucking. Kaye!
Ha! Now I can’t unsee that. 😀
It looks suspiciously like artwork or a photograph stolen from something else with filters and MS Paint crap applied to it in an attempt to disguise the copyright violation trail.
Argh! This is sad to me, because I otherwise don’t mind the artwork too much, and the banner where the title goes is nice, but…yeah, that stupid MS Paint beard on the guy at the bottom, and the fact they used Wild West font for the title…blarghies.