BLURB: The Lost Girl – Book 1: Bella’s Story: Books for Girls Aged 9-12

The Lost Girl – Book 1: Bella’s Story is the emotional and suspenseful story of a 12-year old girl who faces unexpected circumstances. The world she once knew has been replaced and she is forced to deal with many challenges, including life with a new family, a new school and the bullying behavior of her new siblings. But when she meets Zye, life in the Robinson household becomes much more bearable. That is until one eventful evening when everything changes.

What is the choice that Bella makes and how will it affect her future?

School friendships, boy crushes, drama, emotion, and excitement combine together to create a suspenseful and enjoyable story that you will not be able to put down. This is a fabulous book for girls 9 – 12 and beyond that will keep you hooked right through until the very end.

“Watch me use over 140 words and still not tell you anything!”

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Bruce
Bruce
6 years ago

“But when she meets Zye, life in the Robinson household becomes much more bearable. That is until one eventful evening when everything changes.”

This is still about a 12-year old girl, right? Yikes.

“This is a fabulous book for girls 9 – 12…”

If you say so, but I have some serious doubts.

RK@HM
RK@HM
6 years ago

The sheer vagueness of the whole blurb makes me think of that one infamous “Mistakes were made” speech some military spokesman made that made a veritable art form out of the use of the passive voice when explaining why the Air Force had shot down one of its own planes: “The plane was spotted on the radar…” “It was thought to be an enemy plane…” “Orders were given…” “Shots were fired…” “The plane was shot down…” “Mistakes were made.” Thus did the spokesman avoid naming any of the people who’d spotted the plane, given the orders, shot it down, and made all these embarrassing mistakes.

This blurb does much the same thing with its overuse of generalities. “…emotional and suspenseful story of a 12-year old girl who faces unexpected circumstances.” (What circumstances?) “…and she is forced to deal with many challenges…” (What challenges?) “…including life with a new family…” (What’s so “new” about it?) “…a new school and the bullying behavior of her new siblings.” (What kind of bullying behavior?) “But when she meets Zye, life in the Robinson household becomes much more bearable.” (How so, and why?) “That is until one eventful evening when everything changes.” (Because…?) “What is the choice that Bella makes and how will it affect her future?” (Ya got me; your guess is as good as mine.)

Hint to the writer: your prospective readers would like to see some specifics here, if you please.