Damien Ambrose finds himself in a dark haze about the bloody night that his family was killed by him. He remembers nothing about the murder, and finds himself remembering less about his family. Could he really of killed them, or is there some other explanation? We follow Damien as he goes through a psychiatric ward to the infamous Mansfield Asylum for the criminally insane.
“Really have killed them.”
“Really OF”?! Oh come on…
That’s 2nd grade shit right there.
Not to mention the first sentence. Let’s try: “the bloody night that he killed his family” or perhaps “allegedly killed his family.”
Really, this whole blurb just has me itching to pull out a red pen and start marking it up. The only reason I’m not is because this isn’t technically my computer, and the real owners will probably be annoyed if I return it to them with a bunch of red marks on the screen.
“Zsuzsa, what are you doing out of your cage? AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GAMING MONITOR?! NO EGGSHELLS FOR A MONTH!”
This should be an arrestable offence.