Sticky: Empress Theresa

So Empress Theresa serves in some branch of the US military and stands expressionless while people lay on the ground with their rifles? Still gives no clue about what the story is — paper dolls of the world? You could have at least finished with her shirt/collar/neck before so proudly posting it.

As wretched inside as it is outside.

…first let’s start with the uniform. Since the “newer” art is covering up the single medal I’m just not going to bother with it, but allow me to note that a 5 star would have an impressive fruit salad which would extend above the title bar at least in some part. And I’ll also refrain from being incredulous that a general in the air force exists without pilots wings. This IS air force, right? Because if those are the new army uniform, the US tabs are wrong. They should have a brass disc.

If it is air force, the idea of a 5 star general being in their branch is laughable at best. Also, there hasn’t been a 5 star since Ike.

Let’s move on to the…tanks? Those are tanks? What are they, T55s? Old Russian pieces? Or maybe they’re Patton tanks from Vietnam. They sure aren’t Abrams. Of course it barely looks like a tank anyway.

Yup, this is poorly done refrigerator art…and if the scribbler wishes to ask if I could do any better. ..nope, but that’s why I hire someone. Because I recognize my limits and what good art is.

Dear Norman,
As you can see, Nathan met your challenge. And since if he posts it, we will come…here we are.

In simple terms, what you have produced here is poor quality, amateur art suitable for displaying with pride on your nightstand. It might be a mouse’s breath better than the last version, but customers looking to buy a book will only see this version of it and they’ll run away cuz IT’S CRAPPY, CRAPPY, CRAPPY, SHITTY cover art.

That’s just the way it is. No one’s impressed by it or your egotistical attitude. Get over yourself, grow a pair, and accept criticism. Better yet, don’t just accept it…learn from it. If you dare.

Oh, not this again…

For what it’s worth, this cover IS an improvement over the first two…not that such a thing would be difficult. The cover is still impossibly amateurish by any normal standards, and does not speak at all well for the text inside (which itself, to be blunt, needs a ton of work).

Norman, if you read this: please hire a cover artist before doing any future covers. It’s not that expensive if you shop around a bit. And PLEASE take a good look at yourself and your work, and then consider why it is that so many people end up criticising you. Perhaps you’ll end up learning something. I highly doubt it, given your behaviour so far, but still.

o_O

Yes well, I suppose it is kind of improvement. Like swapping from #11 to #72 without any warning… on Bristol Stool Scale.

1 Separate hard lumps, like nuts, hard to pass
2 Watery, no solid pieces, entirely liquid

Needs more buttons.

Has anyone seen what is apparently the back cover art? http://empresstheresa.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/KINDLE_cover.105122303_std.jpg

The top version is the newer, ‘better’ version? I think the one with the lighter sky is marginally better. That said, it’s not very good, and definitely not good enough to be used as a book cover. If my 12-year-old came home from school with it, I’d proudly post it on the fridge, but as a book cover…?? No.

Since I have not (and do not plan to) read the book, but I do have quite a few years experience in both graphic and more traditional art, allow me to critique based purely on visuals.

First off: overall composition. The character being dead center would be fine if there were any other redeeming qualities or interesting or not-tiny parts to the background. Because she is so centered and so much the only point of interest with nothing espeically interesting about her, when I look at the image all I see is the green microphone curving around her face. If she is going to be front and center she at least needs to give us a reason to be looking at her – an expression, an action,compelling light… pretty much anything. Or, alternatively, the background images need to be more interesting. You would need to use the flow of the crowd to the left and the soldiers and tanks to the right to create a place for the eye to move so the viewer isn’t left with nothing of interest and no place for the eye to go.
You will also need to consider what you are saying about the character by putting her front-and-center, and why she is there. “She is the title character” is not a good reason. A lot can be said about a title or main character without ever showing them – you might consider what could be said about yours without showing her, or without showing her face.

Assuming that the way she actuallty looks (proportions of face are not awful, but you would benefit very much from some close inspection of a few different references to get small things like the microphone, the way the hat and uniform sits, her stance) are a style choice and not an expression of experience, the whole image looks like it has a sepia tone over it, like a filter or overlay. It could be a quality of the scan issue, but if that is the case you should take more pride in your work than allowing such a shift of quality and should get it scanned again, professionally if it was not before.
If it was a concious color choice I believe it was a bad one. It makes the whole image flat and, again, uninteresting. You have a good opprotunity to show the contrast of the pale blue sky with the dark blue uniform (possibly symbolizing hope? Or whatever you’d like it to – it would help to set her apart and above everything going on around her). You have further opprotunity to show the contrast between her blue and the bright colors of the details of the uniform and what is going on around her – if the city and large concrete area (?) are grey, the uniforms of the soldiers are muted, the clothing of the crowd are muted, etc, then they become background and all the blue becomes interest.

You will need to pay attention to where you are cropping your main character at, also. Any time you cut off at a joint, such as the elbow in the newer version and the wrist in the older, you create the impression the limb below is not there, and makes it something the reader’s eye will catch right away because it creates an awkward feeling.

Also, if this did indeed take you three years to paint, why did you either not take in to account where your title would be, or why were you willing to cover up such a huge portion of the painting for the wasted space around the title? You’ve covered about 25% of the image with the flat-color bar that was added after the scan.

Just below the bar I can see (presumably) the shadows from her breasts. As a note – I would suggest using references or women in uniform if you try to paint her again because speaking as a woman, those are positioned very incorrectly for someone with natural breasts and the uniform buttons are not positioned correctly for the way a uniform would fit over anything but a flat chest.

You may want to find a different way to frame your title – either by not using the color bar, or by not stacking the words and having them side by side instead. Right now there is about 50% of that bar that is wasted space. Also, the drop shadow doesn’t really add anything to the text, it only serves to make it seem blurrier.

In the positives for this image:
-it really isn’t too bad of an attempt. It needs refining of concept and basic principals of art, but you have obviously put thought and care into the attempt.
-some of the small details are not bad – kudos to you for putting such effort into the insignia on the hat.
-you did use a two-point perspecive on the city in the background, and it looks like maybe on the tanks as well. It would be better suited to use it through the whole cover, but you executed the two-point well what you used it on.

The cover is shit, the contents are shit, and it appears the author has borderline personality disorder and an unhealthy attitude towards women. And no, I wouldn’t normally be that harsh on a cover posted on here, but the author’s attitude in this case would seem to warrant it.

I do think this cover does have some positives, namely:
-the amount of detail in the uniform, which the cover artist clearly used a reference for
-there was actually quite a bit of improvement in the painting of the face
-there isn’t really much wrong with the typography of the cover

That being said, there is also a lot of room for improvement. For example: the clouds. The thousand-yard stare of Theresa. The lack of shading. The lack of dimension in the soldiers and buildings in the background. Also, the color bar accompanying the title. also, although the concept of the cover isn’t bad exactly – showing the main character front and center, with some soldiers and crowds behind her – it’s really dull. What’s happening? Is it saying something exciting about the story? They’re all just standing there.

Since this book is marketed towards teens (12 to 20 years old, if I did my research right), it’s very important that the cover grabs and excites them, especially because this is a suspense story of some sort. If you absolutely cannot hire a good cover artist (or you choose not to), at least work with a good design concept.

And since everyone’s mentioned the author’s attitude, I think I have to put my own two cents in. I will admit that lots of the comments here will be very negative(this site is called Lousy Book Covers, for crying out loud) and hateful, but please remember that everyone who is giving their constructive criticism is trying to HELP you. We’re not telling you this because we think we’re better; we’re telling you this so YOU will be better.

The minute I saw the hat I was excited! Glowing Button Boobs!!

Imagine my dismay when I saw Boutin had covered his heroine’s ample and impossibly-shaped bosom with a placard. Oh, that’s the title? I thought the woman was a chauffeur at the airport trying to pick up that famous cross-dressing dandy Norman Boutin, better known by his stage name, Empress Theresa.

Zeewulf, who also demonstrated his ignorance on Amazon,
wrote:

QUOTE Bradley made it to 5? I didn’t realize that, my mistake. I knew it was WWII generals that were pretty much the only ones to use the rank, but for some reason I’d not known there had been another after Eisenhower. Thanks!
END QUOTE

There is no provision in law for retiring a five star general, so if he wants to remain on active duty for life he can. Bradley was in a wheelchair in his last years and had no duties, but he was on the active list ’til death.

As for you much longer post just before that, which I won’t copy here,`
1. Theresa swears into the Army as a second lieutenant in the morning and that afternoon she is promoted to five star general at the White House.
2. Her only purpose in joining the Army was to lead a 50,000 man South Korean Army into North Korea.
3. An army of South Koreans are not going to let themselves be led by an American, and a girl at that, unless it’s the top ranking soldier in the U.S. Thus, she’s made a five star general.
4. The only medals she’s entitled to wear are the Army Service Medal, and the Armed Forces Medal. She hasn’t done anything yet.
5. The Army recently changed is ‘service’ uniform from green to very dark blue, which almost looks black in some light conditions. She’s in the Army, not the Air Force..

You would know all this if you’d read the book, or did a little research.
But of course not reading the book doesn’t stop from talking about it like an expert.