I can accept the background, even the blurry eyeballs (I’m betting they’re drunk and that’s why they’re blurry). Why, I’d even go so far as to say the title font works if this story is in any way comedic.
The toilet-sign duo and the nom-nom…nope.
Tia
10 years ago
Eyeballs watching people use a bathroom in space? No thanks…
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Thank you for talking about the book cover. The design worked and caught your interest. Hopefully, the cover caused you take a peek at the text on the first page. Maybe the peek at the story caught your interest and you read the novel. It is called marketing.
So because your cover (and your goofy pseudonym) are causing people to ridicule your book, you think it “worked.” No, Mr. Hairy, that is not “working” and it is not called “marketing.”
Let us have a discussion. Can a lousy book cover that attracts attention work?
I am a amateur writer publishing on Smashwords, an outlet for amateurs. Considering the massive competition just on the site and others, I have a couple weeks before the new book slips off the front page advertising and into their extensive inventory. I accept the ridicule for the attention and exposure. The lousy cover is downloading books. Hopefully, the book has merit and entertainment value. Time will tell.
“Can a lousy book cover that attracts attention work?”
I suppose so, to some limited extent, just as it’s maybe, in some cases, true that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But think about it from the point of view of the reader. Reading a book represents a serious commitment of time, and even trying out a book can mean an hour or two of reading. People want a reward in return for that commitment of time and attention; they want a quality reading experience. Does a lousy book cover say “quality” to a prospective reader? No; it says the dead opposite. It says “the person behind this book doesn’t care about the quality of his/her product, and that means he/she doesn’t care about you, the book-buying customer.”
I don’t think anyone seeks out “amateur” writers per se, and I think it’s wrong to think of Smashwords as “an outlet for amateurs.” Smashwords is an outlet for self-published books, and that can mean a lot of things. It can mean a book from an author who cares more about every tiny detail of their book than any big-house publisher ever would, and it can mean worthless drivel thrown together by someone who has only the vaguest notion of what a book should be. Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer? Which one would you like to be categorized under as a writer?
You are right, Karl when you say. “..and that can mean a lot of things.” Maybe the book cover is stupid and the book is worthless drivel. I don’t know. I am a rookie. Do you know?
My expectations–a click on the cover or title and a quick peak at the first page of the story to see if the story merits further consideration. If potential readers walk, I failed. If people read and find the book disappointing, I get slammed with a stinky review. The book is a free and cost nothing more than a minute of to time to check out. No one is cheated out of cash.
Some folks may take delight in someone’s incompetent attempt to write a book, so there is a pay-off in amusement. The success of the book will be determined shortly. It will be priced at $.99 or the book and Camelhairy will disappear.
Karl, publishing on Smashwords gives me(and others)hope for a better future. The write kept me going for the last year.
You ask, “Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer?”
I do not like extremes. I would prefer a neutral customer or even a professional in the business to give a wannbe rookie amateur writer a fair appraisal and some constructive criticism that could assist. I understand and accept my book could suck and I have no talent.
By “Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer?” I meant this: If you were a customer, which sort of book would you be more likely to take a closer look at: a book that looked like it was produced by someone who wants to create a quality product, or a book that looks like it was thrown together by someone with no notion of quality? The question was rhetorical.
You’ve stated a few times that you aren’t sure whether your book has any value, and have also requested that people read and review it.
I haven’t read your book, but judging by your inability to either read or write simple English in this comment thread, I think I can say with some confidence that your book is worthless. Time to find another hobby.
This site is not about the book, it is about the covers… and honestly bashing them a bit.
However, there is a sister site. http://www.covercritics.com
Where people here also gather to provide non joke inspired support for anyone who wants their cover to be appraised, fairly!
You tell us what the book is about, and we try to help. I would suggest attempting there, as you have a calm disposition compared to many other authors that appear on this site.
It would be helpful. To be fair though, many things on here are already helpful if you can see them through the snark!
AJ, I used Word and a software program named Ginger for spell and grammar. Should an amateur writer go through the expense of a professional editor to create a quality product? I also used a program called Autocrit for style.
Lack of funds caused me to design my own cover. Maybe my question is irrelevant if I lack the talent. I wish you read a bit more and given me a review.
Yes! Yes an amateur writer should go through the expense of a professional editor to create a quality product. Providing, you believe in it. Do you believe in it?
If the cost is beyond your means, then you need beta readers. Lots and lots and lots of beta readers. Ones that notice comma errors, and that you can trust will be brutal with it. If your mother, sister, or friend is sweet as pie and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, don’t use them. You want people sweet as crab-apples (which are not sweet). This is not happy fun time, sorry. Honest and brutal beta readers are very hard to find. If you find one, marry them essentially.
Ideally, you want both. Beta Read it to death, then professional edit it.
I am an unpublished writer at the moment, waiting on publishers to look over my first book. I had many beta readers, some great, some didn’t read past chapter one. I did not hold that against them, but they will not read for me again. But, then I kept at it, revised the book as per suggestions, then again, then again. Then again again again! Then once it was polished as far as I thought possible… I did send it to a professional editor.
I could not believe how thorough and wonderful the results were. So many things had been missed. They even did things like in a very complicated scene count the number of … uh… never mind what. But they keep track of all sorts of things I would never had expected. It turned what I thought was just fine, into what I thought was simply amazing. It was worth every single cent, even if I needed to just keep that expense as debt for now. Worth it, and I would never go back! Ever.
Beta readers, I like it. Yes, not friends or family and a reader with a critic eye–hard to find. I almost recruited one. Is there a “Lousybooksbeforetheirpublished” website? One could make friends on Smashwords. I’m stuck in a house. My life is high speed Internet.
That is a too-common misunderstanding by indie publishers of the purpose of a book cover. The cover exists to interest people in the book by communicating its nature and content; if one has to read the book in order to appreciate the cover, the cover has failed its purpose.
Pity. A Quantum Restroom in a parallel universe actually had me interested for a second there. Is it a pay washroom? Do they take Quatloos or just pressed latinum?
You make an interesting comment. They say when a good idea is conceived, somewhere on the planet another person thinks the same–entanglement. As we breathe someone writes the story.
Once upon a time, somewhere in the multiverse, exists a quantum restroom. Unsuspecting victims are sucked into a toilet and transported through a wormhole to a parallel universe. Only plumbers and sewer inspectors know what exists on the other side. Sanitation engineers rule the world. Read the “Flusher from Hell.”
I am amateur who published a book on Smashwords on August 28. I have one 4 star review. I need more reviews to determine if the book is of any quality. Might the people or a professional who follows this site critique my book? I know your time is valuable. Good or bad, your reviews will assist and give me a course of action. If my book wastes your time, you can slam me. I need to know. Thank you.
Thank you Tia for the review. I will search for a professional editor and Beta-readers. I will wait to see if more reviews come in and republish under a different name and cover. You give me hope for the future. Thank you
Due to feedback and ridicule, I have removed the alien restroom from my cover. No more bathroom jokes. The eyeball stays. I think the eyeball, catches the attention of customers scanning the Smashbook page.
Must I change my name? My mother was a camel. If I give my real name, you will find and beat me up for impersonating a book cover designer.
Your pen name doesn’t need to be your real name. It shouldn’t be something like camelhairy either though.
You would never meet a Mr. Camelhairy on the bus… hopefully.
You can use something that reminds you of that name, but is more professional. People want to think that they are reading something made by a person. Would you pick up the book by Charles Juniper or the one by Charliechunkjuniper17? Exactly.
Eyeballs in space would work for me, if done right. (Though that author name is going to throw me off even if a professional does this cover right.)
Right? That name has GOT to be a joke!
I can accept the background, even the blurry eyeballs (I’m betting they’re drunk and that’s why they’re blurry). Why, I’d even go so far as to say the title font works if this story is in any way comedic.
The toilet-sign duo and the nom-nom…nope.
Eyeballs watching people use a bathroom in space? No thanks…
Camelhairy? WTF?
200 Points to Nathan!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Thank you for talking about the book cover. The design worked and caught your interest. Hopefully, the cover caused you take a peek at the text on the first page. Maybe the peek at the story caught your interest and you read the novel. It is called marketing.
So because your cover (and your goofy pseudonym) are causing people to ridicule your book, you think it “worked.” No, Mr. Hairy, that is not “working” and it is not called “marketing.”
The word you’re looking for is “failure.”
Let us have a discussion. Can a lousy book cover that attracts attention work?
I am a amateur writer publishing on Smashwords, an outlet for amateurs. Considering the massive competition just on the site and others, I have a couple weeks before the new book slips off the front page advertising and into their extensive inventory. I accept the ridicule for the attention and exposure. The lousy cover is downloading books. Hopefully, the book has merit and entertainment value. Time will tell.
“Can a lousy book cover that attracts attention work?”
I suppose so, to some limited extent, just as it’s maybe, in some cases, true that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But think about it from the point of view of the reader. Reading a book represents a serious commitment of time, and even trying out a book can mean an hour or two of reading. People want a reward in return for that commitment of time and attention; they want a quality reading experience. Does a lousy book cover say “quality” to a prospective reader? No; it says the dead opposite. It says “the person behind this book doesn’t care about the quality of his/her product, and that means he/she doesn’t care about you, the book-buying customer.”
I don’t think anyone seeks out “amateur” writers per se, and I think it’s wrong to think of Smashwords as “an outlet for amateurs.” Smashwords is an outlet for self-published books, and that can mean a lot of things. It can mean a book from an author who cares more about every tiny detail of their book than any big-house publisher ever would, and it can mean worthless drivel thrown together by someone who has only the vaguest notion of what a book should be. Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer? Which one would you like to be categorized under as a writer?
You are right, Karl when you say. “..and that can mean a lot of things.” Maybe the book cover is stupid and the book is worthless drivel. I don’t know. I am a rookie. Do you know?
My expectations–a click on the cover or title and a quick peak at the first page of the story to see if the story merits further consideration. If potential readers walk, I failed. If people read and find the book disappointing, I get slammed with a stinky review. The book is a free and cost nothing more than a minute of to time to check out. No one is cheated out of cash.
Some folks may take delight in someone’s incompetent attempt to write a book, so there is a pay-off in amusement. The success of the book will be determined shortly. It will be priced at $.99 or the book and Camelhairy will disappear.
Karl, publishing on Smashwords gives me(and others)hope for a better future. The write kept me going for the last year.
CH, I’m not sure what points you’re trying to make, and you don’t appear to be responding to any of the points I made.
But anyway, good luck to you.
You ask, “Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer?”
I do not like extremes. I would prefer a neutral customer or even a professional in the business to give a wannbe rookie amateur writer a fair appraisal and some constructive criticism that could assist. I understand and accept my book could suck and I have no talent.
By “Which of those two extremes would you prefer as a customer?” I meant this: If you were a customer, which sort of book would you be more likely to take a closer look at: a book that looked like it was produced by someone who wants to create a quality product, or a book that looks like it was thrown together by someone with no notion of quality? The question was rhetorical.
Yes, I would prefer a book thrown together with a notion of quality.
You’ve stated a few times that you aren’t sure whether your book has any value, and have also requested that people read and review it.
I haven’t read your book, but judging by your inability to either read or write simple English in this comment thread, I think I can say with some confidence that your book is worthless. Time to find another hobby.
This site is not about the book, it is about the covers… and honestly bashing them a bit.
However, there is a sister site.
http://www.covercritics.com
Where people here also gather to provide non joke inspired support for anyone who wants their cover to be appraised, fairly!
You tell us what the book is about, and we try to help. I would suggest attempting there, as you have a calm disposition compared to many other authors that appear on this site.
It would be helpful. To be fair though, many things on here are already helpful if you can see them through the snark!
Thank you for the link and time.
The cover didn’t make me want to look at anything in your book, but after reading this comment I figured eh, why not.
I counted four punctuation errors on the first page alone. Yeah, no thanks.
I’m sorry. I went back and noticed a missing comma. Punctuation in fiction is tricky. I used to business writing.
AJ, I used Word and a software program named Ginger for spell and grammar. Should an amateur writer go through the expense of a professional editor to create a quality product? I also used a program called Autocrit for style.
Lack of funds caused me to design my own cover. Maybe my question is irrelevant if I lack the talent. I wish you read a bit more and given me a review.
Yes! Yes an amateur writer should go through the expense of a professional editor to create a quality product. Providing, you believe in it. Do you believe in it?
If the cost is beyond your means, then you need beta readers. Lots and lots and lots of beta readers. Ones that notice comma errors, and that you can trust will be brutal with it. If your mother, sister, or friend is sweet as pie and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, don’t use them. You want people sweet as crab-apples (which are not sweet). This is not happy fun time, sorry. Honest and brutal beta readers are very hard to find. If you find one, marry them essentially.
Ideally, you want both. Beta Read it to death, then professional edit it.
I am an unpublished writer at the moment, waiting on publishers to look over my first book. I had many beta readers, some great, some didn’t read past chapter one. I did not hold that against them, but they will not read for me again. But, then I kept at it, revised the book as per suggestions, then again, then again. Then again again again! Then once it was polished as far as I thought possible… I did send it to a professional editor.
I could not believe how thorough and wonderful the results were. So many things had been missed. They even did things like in a very complicated scene count the number of … uh… never mind what. But they keep track of all sorts of things I would never had expected. It turned what I thought was just fine, into what I thought was simply amazing. It was worth every single cent, even if I needed to just keep that expense as debt for now. Worth it, and I would never go back! Ever.
Wait… I’m not AJ. Consarn it!
Thank you for your time and comment.
Beta readers, I like it. Yes, not friends or family and a reader with a critic eye–hard to find. I almost recruited one. Is there a “Lousybooksbeforetheirpublished” website? One could make friends on Smashwords. I’m stuck in a house. My life is high speed Internet.
The book cover relates a science fiction tale about a quantum restroom in a parallel universe. Read for yourself and the cover will make sense.
That is a too-common misunderstanding by indie publishers of the purpose of a book cover. The cover exists to interest people in the book by communicating its nature and content; if one has to read the book in order to appreciate the cover, the cover has failed its purpose.
Dear Nathan,
I was joking about how the cover relates to a quantum restroom in a parallel universe. I’m just looking for readers.
Pity. A Quantum Restroom in a parallel universe actually had me interested for a second there. Is it a pay washroom? Do they take Quatloos or just pressed latinum?
Plus it would make the cover almost accurate.
You make an interesting comment. They say when a good idea is conceived, somewhere on the planet another person thinks the same–entanglement. As we breathe someone writes the story.
Once upon a time, somewhere in the multiverse, exists a quantum restroom. Unsuspecting victims are sucked into a toilet and transported through a wormhole to a parallel universe. Only plumbers and sewer inspectors know what exists on the other side. Sanitation engineers rule the world. Read the “Flusher from Hell.”
I am pretty sure that is almost half the plot to Super Mario Brothers…
😀
I am amateur who published a book on Smashwords on August 28. I have one 4 star review. I need more reviews to determine if the book is of any quality. Might the people or a professional who follows this site critique my book? I know your time is valuable. Good or bad, your reviews will assist and give me a course of action. If my book wastes your time, you can slam me. I need to know. Thank you.
You might want to check out http://absolutewrite.com There is a world of good advice to be found both in the articles and on the forums.
You have the right attitude about all of this. I’ll download it and give it a read.
Great! Thank you for your time, comment, and a review.
Thank you Tia for the review. I will search for a professional editor and Beta-readers. I will wait to see if more reviews come in and republish under a different name and cover. You give me hope for the future. Thank you
Due to feedback and ridicule, I have removed the alien restroom from my cover. No more bathroom jokes. The eyeball stays. I think the eyeball, catches the attention of customers scanning the Smashbook page.
Must I change my name? My mother was a camel. If I give my real name, you will find and beat me up for impersonating a book cover designer.
Your pen name doesn’t need to be your real name. It shouldn’t be something like camelhairy either though.
You would never meet a Mr. Camelhairy on the bus… hopefully.
You can use something that reminds you of that name, but is more professional. People want to think that they are reading something made by a person. Would you pick up the book by Charles Juniper or the one by Charliechunkjuniper17? Exactly.
What about C. Harry Hendricks, or CH Tanner, or…
Thank you for your time and comment.