The Promise of Forever

promiseofforever

The Promise of Forever

Even the industrial-strength artifacting can’t disguise how bad this is.

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James F. Brown
James F. Brown
10 years ago

I’ve seen better layouts on a package of toilet paper.

Waffles
Waffles
10 years ago
Reply to  James F. Brown

Of course you have. Toilet Paper companies hire professional graphic designers!

Lucie Le Blanc
Lucie Le Blanc
10 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Giggle. Indeed. 😉

Kris
Kris
10 years ago

“The Naya S Promise of Forever Part One”

PART ONE.

mij
mij
10 years ago

I bet the people commenting here can’t even make a decent book cover and they bash other peoples covers to feel better about themselves. How can you people waste your insignificant lives on this?!

You people should feel ashamed of yourselves

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago
Reply to  mij

I am a book reader and a book buyer. (I also worked 34 years in the typesetting department of a large book manufacturer.) One of my favorite ways of spending spare time since childhood has been to browse the bookstores, sometimes not looking for any specific book. I have spotted covers that grabbed my attention and said Pick me up, Browse me, Buy me, Read me and other covers that did nothing. I don’t need to make good book covers myself for me to say this cover would make me pick up the book or that cover would make me pass it by.

Ron Miller
Ron Miller
10 years ago
Reply to  mij

Pardon me, mij, but while I haven’t commented on this particular cover (largely because words escape me), I would like to point out that I create book covers professionally for such publishers as Lerner, Berkley/Ace, Baen and many others.

scott colbert
scott colbert
10 years ago
Reply to  mij

I’d feel more shame defending that awful cover.

sammy2067
sammy2067
10 years ago

What the heck? What’s wrong with this book cover? Why would anyone bash it like this? I think it looks good. It may not be professional, but it still looks freakin good. So you all saying it sucks, shut up & go do something better with your lives.

sammy2067
sammy2067
10 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

Ok, good for you. But not everybody has the same opportunities as you. For some people, this is the best they have at the moment & you saying it looks bad isn’t gonna improve it. Telling them what they could do better does, but going around saying how bad someone’s book cover is will just bring them down. Critiquing someone’s work is alright. Saying it looks awful isn’t.

Tia
Tia
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

If someone can’t handle being told that his/her creation looks bad, that person has no business putting his/her work out there for sale. Not everyone is going to like your work and not everyone is going to be polite about saying that it sucks. That is reality, whether you like it or not.

sammy2067
sammy2067
10 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

I understand you work hard on your book covers & I’m happy for you. Really, I am. I’m glad you’ve been able to make such good book cover designs. And I get the whole deal with amazon & what not, but having a website called lousybookcovers.com is going too far. It’s not just her, it’s everyone on here who’s book cover has been on here. I understand some people just CAN’T make a good book cover, but people need to understand that saying it looks crappy isn’t gonna make it better. It’s not just you (I’m not saying you said that because I have no proof you did) it’s everyone else who’s like, That’s a terrible book cover, I could do WAY better than that. For some people, that’s all they got & for some people, it’s good. People (in general) should tell them what they can change to make it better, even if it is a published book so they know what to do on their next one. Again, I’m glad you spend a lot of time on your book covers, but please, just because you can do better than others doesn’t mean you need to tell them how bad they do. You don’t have to say it’s good or whatever, but you don’t need to go around saying it looks terrible or whatever (again, I have no proof you’ve actually said that).

john e. . .
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

I can’t believe you wrote – and I’m quoting here –

“[S]ome people just CAN’T make a good book cover . . . it looks crappy . . . that’s a terrible book cover, I could do WAY better than that. People (in general) should tell them . . . it looks terrible.”

I couldn’t have said it better.

BOO effin’ HOO!

go home. Come back when you grow up.

Ron Miller
Ron Miller
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

The excuse that an author either can’t afford or hasn’t the ability to create a better cover is a poor one. When something is offered for sale there is an obligation to have a product that is professional in quality. Would you buy a chair from a woodworker who said, “Please buy my chair. Just overlook the uneven legs, unsanded surface, loose parts, and sticky paint. I couldn’t do any better…but I expect you to pay as much as you would for a chair made perfectly.”

Axolotl
Axolotl
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

If you want to see how someone can be a sport about being featured on this site and try to grow and improve from the experience, take a look at the current book by Bonnie Ferrante being featured on CoverCritics, and then use the search function to find that same book where it appeared earlier on here. Ferrante’s cover wasn’t very good, but as several people commented the book itself showed promise, and rather than throwing a wobbly about bullies, she got some advice and I hope that she will come up with a new cover that much better advertises her book.

gp
gp
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

Actually, it would be instructive for any would-be book cover designer to browse the covers on this site and study the tags listed below each image.

In this case, the tags “cut-and-paste,” “layout woes,” and “pixelation” indicate important problems with this cover. These give the author or cover designer of this book valuable keys for how to improve the cover.

Realize that customers browsing for books aren’t going to run over to this website to see comments, so, really, the comments on this site really aren’t impacting sales… UNLESS the author is foolish enough to comment on this site, or the author’s friends and family come here to add comments. Unfortunately, this creates added publicity to the author, the negative kind that can hurt sales through negative branding. The best strategy is to ignore it, and perhaps better, try to improve the cover based on the tags listed here.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago
Reply to  gp

Lousy book covers hirt sales.

lousybookcovers.com has actually impelled some self-pubs to redo their covers and presumable help sales. (Browse the site you will find examples.)

But acting like participating deserves a winner ribbon regardless of quality of participation is not the way the adult world operates.

EmmyWilly
EmmyWilly
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Sammy2067! I was thinking the very thing you said. Can’t add much because you pretty much covered everything I was thinking.

Nathan, just because you design what your opinion of a “good” cover is, doesn’t mean you’re better than someone who makes “bad” covers. Your opinion is your opinion, and that’s perfectly fine to have an opinion. But you don’t have to go bashing others’ covers. Don’t let your opinions control your actions and words in such way that could affect others in such a negative way. This is called “being rude”. Being rude about it is not the way to go. Are you trying to help improve covers, or is the sole purpose of “lousy book covers” (lousy? I think that answers my question.) to make people feel bad? What are your motives? You don’t know if they can even afford to buy a professional cover.

Try to put your feet in the shoes of someone else who isn’t as fortunate as you. Not everyone can afford the things you can, but that doesn’t mean they should not follow their dreams. Judging a book by its cover is a great way to miss out on good things, not just in a book, but in life as well. I just so happen to have read this book and I loved it. I must say it was one of the best books I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading and it really affected me very positively. I like the cover, but that’s just my opinion. I will admit that in my opinion, it’s not the best cover in the world, but I’m really glad that I don’t choose what I read by looking at the cover.

Try critiquing the next covers instead of just pointing out what looks bad/focusing on solely on the flaws. Try also pointing out what looks good. Try building up instead of the opposite. It’s okay to try and help people, but what’s not okay is being a bully. And over covers?

To sum up my speech, quit calling people’s creations lousy, and start giving constructive criticism, not *destructive*. There’s a big difference, and that one change can make a world of difference. And yes, I get what you’re saying about bookstores not being emotional support groups, but making a website for “lousy” book covers is just a “bit” far.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

When the butcher sold me rotten pig livers, rather than cook them and feed them to my children, I was RUDE and JUDGEMENTAL. I took them to the shop and told the butcher these are rotten pig livers, take them back and give me some fresh and edible. See, Nathan, you are not the only RUDE person on the planet.

Caitlin
10 years ago
Reply to  Nathan

I love Nathan.

Karl
Karl
10 years ago
Reply to  EmmyWilly

Yeah, it’s all “opinion.” There’s no such thing as “good” work or “bad” work. And all those people who spend their lives trying to learn to create something of quality — who toil for years to educate themselves, who agonize over every tiniest esthetic decision, who throw away thousands of hours of work rather than settle for something that doesn’t meet their own standards… those people are just the world’s biggest suckers.

And anyone who suggests that a piece of mindless nose-blowing fails to meet some basic and commonsense standards of quality — that person is just “rude.”

Ron Miller
Ron Miller
10 years ago
Reply to  EmmyWilly

The excuse that an author either can’t afford or hasn’t the ability to create a better cover is a poor one. When something is offered for sale there is an obligation to have a product that is professional in quality. Would you buy a chair from a woodworker who said, “Please buy my chair. Just overlook the uneven legs, unsanded surface, loose parts, and sticky paint. I couldn’t do any better…but I expect you to pay as much as you would for a chair made perfectly.”

And there are, in fact, perfectly objective standards by which a book cover can be judged.

Ron Miller
Ron Miller
10 years ago
Reply to  EmmyWilly

Perhaps the author will post their cover in CoverCritics.com where specifically useful suggestions might be made.

Lucie Le Blanc
Lucie Le Blanc
10 years ago
Reply to  Ron Miller

You wish. (snort) People like these feel entitled to never ever be proven wrong. Why take the change to change their mind when all they have to do is call us bullies? And then they get mad when we don’t apologize for pointing out their mistakes.

I read a lot of ebooks and books and I do feel entitled to review them honestly. Geez, authors are desperately asking for reviews. I critique not only the story, but also the writing, the editing, the formatting and even the covers.

A book is a package. A bad cover often, if not always, means a sloppy book. And bad judgement while publishing a book, or putting anything else out there for public review as a matter of fact, is not and never will be a good defence.

Kris
Kris
10 years ago
Reply to  EmmyWilly

EmmyWilly & sammy2067: Be professional. Go to a bookstore and examine the covers. See how they have CLEAR photos and READABLE text? They don’t say things like “Book One” – “Part One” because that’s redundant. And confusing.

If you are putting your work up for SALE, the customer deserves your VERY best efforts before they pay out their hard-earned cash. It’s your job to respect that.

If this cover is all you can manage at this point, then you have two options:

1. Hire a cover artist so that your work appears worthy of purchase.

2. If you are unwilling to face the fact that this cover is not acceptable in the world of successful publishing, then perhaps you should not continue. Publishing may not be the right path for you.

Axolotl
Axolotl
10 years ago
Reply to  EmmyWilly

This site exists for the same reason published books exist — because it entertains people. If you publish a book, it’s out there for people to read and have an opinion on. You don’t get to control how people interpret it, or whether or not they like it. You don’t get to dictate that the only people who read it are the sorts of people you think will ‘get’ it. If you can’t handle that, leave it on your hard drive.

AJ
AJ
10 years ago
Reply to  sammy2067

I think I see the problem. You see, Sammy, I’m also nearsighted, so when I have my glasses off everything looks blurry. If you can’t tell that this book cover is blurry and unreadable in comparison to everything else in the world, you just need to put your glasses on. 🙂

Suzie
10 years ago

Hi Nathan ====madly waves==== See me? I’m over here.

Okay enough playing. Looking at the thumbnail cover all I see is something resembling ‘Promise of’

I cannot make out any other text even when I put on glasses (that I do not normally wear).

For anyone interested in publishing a book, please remember that there are literally millions of other books published. Compare your cover to something in the same genre. If your cover is ‘Lousy’ then something needs to be changed. Compare to self-pub’ed and trad pub’ed books the the top 100. If you see nothing wrong with you cover then look at all covers in thumbnail size. If you cannot read, see or even understand what is suppose to be on the cover then maybe something needs to be changed.

When you publish a book you place it before the world telling everyone I am ready, come and read my work. Give me your opinion. I can take it.

When a cover ends up on this or similar sites then there is something wrong with the cover. We are allowed out opinion. We do not like the cover. With you stating we are not allowed an opinion that is similar to banning books.

Don’t play the ‘bully’ card here. No one contacted the author and started bullying them about this. If you want to know what real bullying is like just Google ‘Goodreads Bullies’ you will have hundreds of links show up. That is bullying, not this!

Bye Nathan ====madly waves====

Cat
Cat
10 years ago

I’m a professional graphic designer (college graduate of an3 year program). And I concur that yes, lousy book covers DO deserve to be called out. Why? Because me and so many others are sick of the double standard of what can pass by in the industry in this profession compared to others. You would not see a person without a medical license practicing as a doctor. So why is it allowable for people without a graphic design diploma to “design” covers like this? Go to school and earn the right to do so like the rest of us who have, or get the hell out. You are making a mockery of the field just because you think having a copy of Photoshop gives you the right to call yourself a designer.

ASwan
10 years ago
Reply to  Cat

Cat, I am in agreement with you that bad graphic design is a problem. But surely you can see that the doctor/designer analogy is flawed, right? A bad doctor can kill people. A bad designer can make…bad designs.

Furthermore, indie publishing is independent. The only standards that must be met are the author’s. However, if the author’s standards are low, he or she will fail since customers demand a higher standard.

Saying that people without a degree in graphic design should not design disqualifies the many (very talented) self-taught designers (who did independent research, but don’t have a degree) from ever designing anything. It would be like saying that you need to have a degree in English in order to write well.

It is one thing to say that bad design is bad and deserves to be called out. It is another thing altogether to say that only people with degrees in graphic design should be allowed to design.

I’m on your side. Bad design should not be tolerated, and it won’t be in the general public. Consumers vote with their dollars, and they will end up voting for good quality design over bad every time.

Axolotl
Axolotl
10 years ago
Reply to  ASwan

Doctors and suchlike need to be regulated because bad doctors harm people. Bad graphic designers and bad self-published books don’t harm anyone, and indeed provide entertainment in instances such as this (although it probably isn’t in the way the authors wanted it to). There is or was at one time a common attitude of ‘don’t self publish, you’ll just embarrass yourself and harm any future career you might have’ which I’ve never got.

DED
DED
10 years ago

An author can get a decent pre-designed book cover for under $100. If an author isn’t willing to invest that kind of money in their cover, it makes me wonder if they bothered to invest any money in hiring an editor.

If an author can’t afford to spend $100 on a cover, then they should start a Kickstarter campaign to raise the money. If that author can write a cohesive enough sales pitch about their book, they should be able to raise the funds to cover the expense of acquiring a cover and, with a bit of luck, maybe hire an editor.

Printedpancakes
Printedpancakes
10 years ago

I agree with all of you, even Sammy & Emmy. Everyone has a good point. It is kind of taking it too far to have this website, but at the same time, there are resources to make your book cover look amazing. Now, this is one of the better covers. I do see the flaws in it, but trust me, I’ve seen WAY worse, & I’m sure you all have, too. And plus, how will an author learn how to make their covers better without messing up a few at first? They should have it checked over by a professional, but they can’t always do that. If they can’t, they should have it checked by friends & family. At least with friends & family, they’ll point out the flaws, but (usually) they’re nice about it. If you publish a book with a sucky cover, people will point out flaws while being rude about it, that’s all there is to it.

Rob
Rob
10 years ago

No it is not taking it too far to have this website. By that standard, Engrish.com (which makes fun of Engrish), ‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy (a book which makes fun of lyrics) and other such existing entities should not be – and I’m only scratching the surface.

“And plus, how will an author learn how to make their covers better without messing up a few at first?”

There are so many outlets on how to do this, you don’t even have to come here (or rather, the sister site CoverCritics) to do so. Deviant Art, Linked In, Goodreads, the list goes on and on. In this day and age, authors have no excuse to not refine their covers before publication.

“At least with friends & family, they’ll point out the flaws, but (usually) they’re nice about it.”

That’s if they SEE the flaws. Because, quite frankly, most kith and kin are not artists nor professional typesetters. And many of them will NOT gainsay the author if he or she is somewhat bullheaded.

How do I know this? Simple: I had a friend design a cover for my book. I then had friends and family look at it. Keep in mind that I’m an artist (graphic designer and type designer) and I’m married to a comic artist. Guess what? The art looked like crap – but my wife wasn’t going to argue about it because she didn’t want the hassle. Likewise, my friends, who are NOT artists, couldn’t pick out the flaws. It took talking to folks on Linked In (people who were artists that I didn’t know), who pointed out the flaws…AND were kind enough about it. Not rude, just honest. I’ve since fired that artist and put my book on hold while I find a newer artist who can do the job. But I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t gone out of my comfort zone.

Which is the last thing: by having friends, family and publisher come here to defend the author, you are depriving said author of experience of moving out of the comfort zone. Publishing – hell, putting your artwork out there at all – is neither easy nor kind. It’s not the thousand kudos that will hurt, it’s that one shoot-down…and sometimes that slap will be RIGHT. Anyone who has a thin skin needs to either build up, or get out of the limelight. This isn’t an easy thing to do, and people just covering for a bad step doesn’t let the creator grow.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago

It looks to me that this book cover has family or friends who are not willing to point out flaws but believe the cover is above criticism. They seem to believe the author or cover designer does not need to learn to make their book cover better, but that lousybookcovers should say nothing if they can’t say nice. I get the impression they think criticism on their part would be “bullying” the poor dear who did the best he/she could do.

From some of the comments on this thread, some lousy book covers were done by people who are too used to having mother say that’s wunnerful I’m taping that to the fridge door, Good job, that’s a lovely horse (when it was intended to be a drawing of a squid attacking Captain Nemo.).

Lexie Reynolds
Lexie Reynolds
10 years ago

People need to grow up and quit arguing like two-year-olds over covers. This is just ridiculous. I’m sorry to see lives being wasted on a site like this.

scott colbert
scott colbert
10 years ago
Reply to  Lexie Reynolds

Well no one is forcing you here to make a comment. Just saying.

Staceykjgo
Staceykjgo
10 years ago
Reply to  scott colbert

Nobody is forcing you to make a comment, either.

Sirona
10 years ago

So I’ve been sitting back, reading and considering the discussions this time (since this rabid vehemence by the emotionally injured pops up with near regularity), and I wasn’t going to comment. But now I find I have to.

I’m not going to repeat the obvious truths and valid arguments my friends here have made. They’ve done a great service arguing FOR sites like this (and there are others). For the haters (yes, that’s what you trolls are who swoop in and call us bullies, you are haters) I have some advice. Lighten up. Stop appointing yourselves the web police. You think this is the first and only time in history that people have gathered to criticize “art”? Probably you do.

Well then, ride your waaaaahmbulances outta here. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. But artists do have to separate themselves from their art.

Do you realize that many of us often venture to look at these books on Amazon and Smashwords? That’s eyes of potential buyers on these writers’ books! If we find something of quality that happens to be under a lousy cover, we still might be interested enough to buy it. (Although I’m sure we’d all hesitate because if the cover’s that bad what has the author neglected on the inside that less discerning readers chose to ignore? It’s a gamble buying self-pubbed books anyway; self-pubbed books with lousy covers are often not worth the ante.)

There are professionals here (like me) who would like to see bad covers and bad interiors (including the writing) be healed. Praise the goddess! The only way to facilitate that healing is to point out the flaws and draw attention to amateur hour while also guiding the uninformed to alternative methods of producing their schlock so maybe it’s a tiny bit less schlocky next time.

Sites like this are the final exams of publishing. They are public opinion. Sometimes public opinion is harsh. (Remember the last time you saw a movie that turned out to be a waste of your $12? Did you call the actors and kindly explain to them what you hated or did you sit around a restaurant table, in public, and rip it apart?)

Last time I checked the public could render opinions; here we happen to render them about book covers and sometimes we’re snarky. It’s about the covers and poor judgment by wannabe authors.

If YOUR COVER gets a failing grade (I’d equate a cover appearing here as earning a D or F grade) you need to study what you didn’t before you produced “art” (ahem), learn more about the subject, and prepare for the next test–or get the hell outta class. If you can’t accept a bad grade and candid comments, don’t take the test. Stay in your hidey hole and give your books to your friends. If you’re asking people to pay for your work, expect that they’re going to criticize it.

Over in the other thread, I believe one of you suggested we should just do a kind service here. Donning our lambswool mittens and handing out criticism in the form of sweet advice: Oh, honey, that image is fuzzy, you should do this [insert advice here]. Well, that kind of service people usually pay for–it’s called a professional critique. Many of us here are happy to oblige if authors choose to do that–sadly if they’re not into spending money to buy a cover, I doubt they’ll put any toward getting a professional opinion before publishing. But for those folks, Nathan has CoverCritics.com.

If you’d read more of this site and the posts you’d have learned that when covers are marginally bad or have good points we offer praise where it’s due and suggestions to help what’s not working (should the author happen by and see our comments).

While we’re at punishing us for our frank opinions, you better ask Joan Rivers to stop criticizing celebrities’ wardrobe choices on Fashion Police. (I’m sure those celebs write Joan whiny letters after every show–it must suck being Joan. Or any other comic for that matter.) Or how about this: the Emmys were last night; today there are lists and pics and whatnot all over the web CRITICIZING attendees dresses and tuxes. I suppose that should stop too?

“But those are celebrities. It’s part of what they do,” you say.

Sure it is. It’s part of them selling a product. Packaging they use to impress fans, producers, directors…to sell themselves, increase their popularity and hopefully demand a juicier contract for their next film or show.

A book cover is a book’s packaging. If it isn’t up to par, potential buyers have every right to say what they don’t like about it. And nowhere in the chronicle of anyone does it say people have to be nice about what they don’t like.

Sometimes criticism can be harsh. Stop taking it personally. Read between the lines and learn from mistakes. Take advice offered and consider alternatives like saving your pennies and purchasing pre-made covers that are a distinct improvement over a photo of your last birthday cake.

Strive for professionalism so maybe, if you decide to do it again, your book won’t appear here.

Well, this was longer than I planned and I probably rambled a bit, but I’m feeling much better now…

john e. . .
10 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

Thank you Sirona. Very well said. Will anyone heed its good advice. Doubtful. But for them I always have my short version ready to hand out. Say it with me:

Boo effin’ Hoo!

Go Home!

Sirona
10 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

^^Like^^ and ^Like^

Thank you! ::blushes::

Rob
Rob
10 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

I cannot like this enough. Great words!

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago
Reply to  Sirona

I like the analogy: As a book cover is advertising for a book, and an Emmy or Oscar fashion is advertising for an actor/actress, so is Lousy Book Covers like Joan and Melissa Rivers dissing fashion faux pas.

Myself, I think Lousy Book Covers is more like laughing at wardrobe malfunctions.

But I like what Sirona said and meant.

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

Come to think of it, Lousy Book Covers is more like Mystery Science Theatre 3000 than Fashion Police.

DED
DED
10 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

YES!

Milzun Boon
Milzun Boon
10 years ago

Assuming these people are friends of the author, they should perhaps consider the concept of their being no such thing as bad publicity.

I for one would have never heard of Nya S, the homeschooled christian student who says she will never stop writing, had it not been for this site.

This site even has affiliate links to the sites selling the books, meaning some people must buy the books once they have seen them on here (I’d be fascinated to know in what sort of numbers)

scott colbert
scott colbert
10 years ago
Reply to  Milzun Boon

Judging from the Amazon rankings, they get very few if any sales from here.

Waffles
Waffles
10 years ago

The most amazing part of all this? The original comments are not even that bad and barely even related to the cover.

Seriously, the fact that toilet paper companies hire graphic designers… is… the worst thing that someone can make as a comment on a piece of art? We should be ashamed. The fact that put this many panties in a twist. Love it.

Also, as I happen to be part of the original four horrible people mentioned as the destroyer of all things good and holy in the universe…

I can and do make book covers on occasion, but mostly brochures and menus. Thank you for bashing me anyways though, as well as my life choices. Visiting bad design sites is actually a great way to improve your design skills, fyi.

My covers in all honesty are far better than this disaster of a cover. Learn to use layers, look at his hair, why is the top of it blue? Honestly. There is no excuse for that except being too lazy to figure out how to fix it, or simply not even looking at it before pressing ‘publish’!

I went to a graphic design school. I do not steal photos from the internet and use them to make my covers. I use photos of a proper resolution that my photographer coworker takes. If I have a book cover I spend hours designing it so that it looks professional and finished. None of my covers would ever appear on this site, if I submitted one Nathan would reject it due to the fact that it, in fact, is not lousy.

I am working on a hand drawn cover for my own novel, that I have had professionally edited even, but it will not appear on here either. I am ten hours into the illustration already and I am guessing my background clouds took more time to design than this entire mess of a cover. Why I have even designed it poster size, as opposed to thumbnail size like this cover, so that I can use it in promotional material. Novel concept, that.

(My cover may appear of covercritics.com because, why not? I like Nathan’s ideas and the publicity there would be actually useful and the comments helpful, but hey, I’m a heartless spawn of evil from the Flaming Pit, why do I matter?)

So in conclusion, toilet paper companies are smart. They hire professionals to design their packaging. Why? Because they know that pictures of cute kittens sell toilet paper, not crap like this.

Lucie Le Blanc
Lucie Le Blanc
10 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Hear hear, oh you heartless spawn of evil!

Waffles
Waffles
10 years ago
Reply to  Lucie Le Blanc

The heartlesstiest! Pretty proud of that!

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago

I have seen worse covers than this one (with Papyrus font, photos stolen from Getty with the Getty watermark still legible, wolves in bad aspect ratios, and headless bare human torsoes).

BUT!

There is Remedy and Justice to be Found on the Internet!!
1. Search “Butthurt Report Form (internet version)”.
2. Print it out.
3. Enter date and time you experienced the butthurt.
4. Under heading “Please describe the nature of the butthurt” check Other and specify criticism by lousybookcovers.com
5. Under heading “Please tell us more about the incident of butthurt” under Other (please describe): public criticism of a book cover put out before the public.
6. Check Yes to what hurt you felt (Tears, Permanent mental scarring, Lost Sleep, etc.)
7. Under heading “Please tell us more about the person who caused the butthurt” be sure to check the box for “They are a big mean poopy pants who should be banned from the internet…..” and any other appropriate descriptions.
8. Under heading “Did you take any actions yourself regarding the butthurt?” do check the box for “I wrote a 6000 word response detailing the extent of my butthurt….”; do NOT check the box “I realized that arguing on the Internet is usually pointless…..”
9. Roll up the Butthurt Report Form and put it in your outbox.

On another site somebody posted that I reminded them of Ernesto from Cul de Sac. Filing a Butthurt Report Form did wonders! If it worked for me, it can work for you!

Lucie Le Blanc
Lucie Le Blanc
10 years ago
Reply to  Naaman Brown

HA!

Naaman Brown
Naaman Brown
10 years ago

I will not name names but I lurked at a self-published amateur writer/self-pub editor’s blog but never commented myself.

A well-established professional author and editor patiently tried to explain that when he first started, he got criticism from his editor, an established and esteemed editor and publisher. He gave a specific example of dialog in his story which was supposed to be a telegram dashed off as an unknown threat approached. The original story verbiage was so overblown and florid–not what a person would dash off in a telegram in a panic–his editor called it capital Nonsense! exclamation point that would inspire jeers and laughter. The professional re-wrote the dialog instead of whining about bullying or meanness.

The amateur writer/editor was so full of butthurt he would not listen to to the professional’s advice, or any criticism of his writing or criticism of his mistakes as an editor of anthologies. Instead he continues to lash out at his critics as “bullies” and “stiflers”.

One of the differences between amateurs and professionals is that amateurs will never listen or learn from criticism of their mistakes, but professionals will set aside their egos and evaluate even the harshest mean-spirited criticism to see if there is something they need to improve.