I’d assume that this person is going for the Cozy Mystery genre (http://www.cozy-mystery.com/Definition-of-a-Cozy-Mystery.html if you’re unsure what I’m talking about here, but you guys are smarties, I bet you all know), but even one of those shouldn’t inspire outright laughter at the cover. Even if this WEREN’T a photoshopped image, the sight of two feet sticking out of a bush in therapeutic socks on the cover of a murder mystery would have me howling.
That being said, I think that font COULD work for the title, as long as they quit messing with its natural proportions and just figured out a better layout. And a better cover image.
As someone who writes brutal noir, I detest the cozy mystery genre with a passion. We’ve evolved for Chrissake! Cozy afternoon murder mysteries belong back in Victorian times.
Step 1: Purchase a decent camera.
Step 2: Find a hedge similar to this.
Step 3: Ask a friend to stick their legs through the hedge.
Step 4: Take a picture.
Step 5: Use a photo editing program to make sure the brightness/contrast looks really nice.
Step 6: Add a legible and appropriate font.
It might still look like an instamatic cover, but it will still look better than this hot mess. Those legs are just all kinds of wrong.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/cover155.jpg)
Is ‘Inspector Knowles’ a high school student solving crimes in their spare time? Otherwise that font is all sorts of inappropriate.
So, “Goat Parva” is the name of the town in which this lovely murder mystery occurs.
Please forgive me for thinking Goat Parva was some kind of goat innerds used as a murder weapon. But it does paint a picture, don’t you think?
I thought it had something to do with parvo, the disease.
That’s exactly what I thought. Someone is killing people with a goat virus.
*innards
🙂
Those are some incredibly long (and silky smooth!) shins.
That’s because it’s a mannikin.
*Rim shot*
I’d assume that this person is going for the Cozy Mystery genre (http://www.cozy-mystery.com/Definition-of-a-Cozy-Mystery.html if you’re unsure what I’m talking about here, but you guys are smarties, I bet you all know), but even one of those shouldn’t inspire outright laughter at the cover. Even if this WEREN’T a photoshopped image, the sight of two feet sticking out of a bush in therapeutic socks on the cover of a murder mystery would have me howling.
That being said, I think that font COULD work for the title, as long as they quit messing with its natural proportions and just figured out a better layout. And a better cover image.
As someone who writes brutal noir, I detest the cozy mystery genre with a passion. We’ve evolved for Chrissake! Cozy afternoon murder mysteries belong back in Victorian times.
Aw. I like brutal noir AND cozies. As long as they don’t get too cutesy. But then, I’m a mystery addict, I’ll read almost any mystery genre.
I had a real LOL moment for this one. Family had to come see what was so damn funny, and then they roared too!
Get your parva out of my rhododendron, you old goat!
WTF is a “Goat Parva” anyway?
How to make a better version of this on a budget:
Step 1: Purchase a decent camera.
Step 2: Find a hedge similar to this.
Step 3: Ask a friend to stick their legs through the hedge.
Step 4: Take a picture.
Step 5: Use a photo editing program to make sure the brightness/contrast looks really nice.
Step 6: Add a legible and appropriate font.
It might still look like an instamatic cover, but it will still look better than this hot mess. Those legs are just all kinds of wrong.
The legs! The legs are pure comedy gold – in fact I’d even go so far as to say they’re the best bit of this cover.
Isn’t Goat Parva some kind of exotic dessert?