Great, another odd-shaped cover. Talk about screaming “Amateur!”
Now for the dissection. First, a sword and a purse? And a big-ass purse, it is too. She keep makeup in there or a back-up sword? Daggers? Whatever, I predict it gets in the way when she’s fighting.
Next, the hands, head, and purse are photographs but the rest of her is cartoonish illustration. WTF? And she is so NOT dressed for the desert–more for a sit-in in the 60s, I’d say.
Gah, this one’s truly awful, Nathan. Thanks for the laughs!
Kris
9 years ago
And all with a Partridge Family font!
Take Cover
9 years ago
Strangely, I hadn’t even noticed the dracoceratops. All I can see is that big-assed purse.
I actually quite like the mixed media aspect though. It reminds me of a Dennis the Menace coloring book I used to have.
Maybe it’s not a sword; maybe it’s a Q-tip and she’s getting ready clear out Dino’s earwax.
Tia
9 years ago
She looks well on her way to cutting her own head off.
jic
9 years ago
I was wondering if this was the sort of book where an ordinary woman from our world falls through a portal to another world, in which case her looking like she was dressed for an afternoon at the mall would make sense. Judging from the synopsis, probably not. I’ll give them this, though: it does seem like a more comfortable and practical getup for a quest than the deep-cleavage leather lingerie look you get on a lot of fantasy novel covers.
How practical can it be? It is a cardboard cut out of clothing. I would much rather wear a Chainmail bikini. At least those stay on and somehow provide an amazing armor bonus.
“How practical can it be? It is a cardboard cut out of clothing.”
Well, yes, but *everything* on that cover is a cardboard cut-out. A cardboard cut-out woman would obviously wear cardboard cut-out clothing to cross the cardboard cut-out desert with a cardboard cut-out dragon’s head.
That explains that big ass purse then. It is magic and not cardboard!
Mystery solved! 🙂
Catie
9 years ago
Wait, is that shirt PAINTED ON? SERIOUSLY?
I actually like the concept. And the clothes. The clothes are actually very sensible for the desert – ignoring the fact they’re drawn. Beats bikini chainmail any day. But. A lot of work needs to be put into this to make it into a cover.
First, find a good artist to paint the image. Fantasy covers work a lot better as paintings instead of photos. A GOOD artist, who will draw it so it doesn’t look as if she’s about to chop off her fingers or her head. Loose the bag and put something more fantasy appropriate, a backpack, satchel or whatever. And do something better with the dragonoid.
Second, give the painting to a graphics designer, who’ll put it in the proper size and format, get rid of the goofy font and find something more genre appropriate.
![cover[1]](https://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/cover120.jpg)
Great, another odd-shaped cover. Talk about screaming “Amateur!”
Now for the dissection. First, a sword and a purse? And a big-ass purse, it is too. She keep makeup in there or a back-up sword? Daggers? Whatever, I predict it gets in the way when she’s fighting.
Next, the hands, head, and purse are photographs but the rest of her is cartoonish illustration. WTF? And she is so NOT dressed for the desert–more for a sit-in in the 60s, I’d say.
Gah, this one’s truly awful, Nathan. Thanks for the laughs!
And all with a Partridge Family font!
Strangely, I hadn’t even noticed the dracoceratops. All I can see is that big-assed purse.
I actually quite like the mixed media aspect though. It reminds me of a Dennis the Menace coloring book I used to have.
I guess that sword blade isn’t very sharp.
Maybe it’s not a sword; maybe it’s a Q-tip and she’s getting ready clear out Dino’s earwax.
She looks well on her way to cutting her own head off.
I was wondering if this was the sort of book where an ordinary woman from our world falls through a portal to another world, in which case her looking like she was dressed for an afternoon at the mall would make sense. Judging from the synopsis, probably not. I’ll give them this, though: it does seem like a more comfortable and practical getup for a quest than the deep-cleavage leather lingerie look you get on a lot of fantasy novel covers.
How practical can it be? It is a cardboard cut out of clothing. I would much rather wear a Chainmail bikini. At least those stay on and somehow provide an amazing armor bonus.
“How practical can it be? It is a cardboard cut out of clothing.”
Well, yes, but *everything* on that cover is a cardboard cut-out. A cardboard cut-out woman would obviously wear cardboard cut-out clothing to cross the cardboard cut-out desert with a cardboard cut-out dragon’s head.
That explains that big ass purse then. It is magic and not cardboard!
Mystery solved! 🙂
Wait, is that shirt PAINTED ON? SERIOUSLY?
I actually like the concept. And the clothes. The clothes are actually very sensible for the desert – ignoring the fact they’re drawn. Beats bikini chainmail any day. But. A lot of work needs to be put into this to make it into a cover.
First, find a good artist to paint the image. Fantasy covers work a lot better as paintings instead of photos. A GOOD artist, who will draw it so it doesn’t look as if she’s about to chop off her fingers or her head. Loose the bag and put something more fantasy appropriate, a backpack, satchel or whatever. And do something better with the dragonoid.
Second, give the painting to a graphics designer, who’ll put it in the proper size and format, get rid of the goofy font and find something more genre appropriate.