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I’m Not Him: The Mistaken Identity Alien Kidnapping Romance

I’m Not Him: The Mistaken Identity Alien Kidnapping Romance

I already dislike the trend toward plastering the cover with the book’s sub-sub-subgenre. But then putting this image in close proximity to the word “romance”…


  1. So that’s the type of human an alien wants a romance with??
    Who wants to read a book with that image on it?

  2. I have to wonder if he signed a model release; otherwise that man on the cover should sue.

    And since when did Mistaken Identity Alien Kidnapping Romance become a genre?

  3. You guys are missing it!!! Dudes (and ladies), can’t you tell that the mound–the one there that looks all hairy–isn’t what you think it is? It’s the Pit of Sarlacc! No wonder the aliens are after him. Not everyone can claim ownership of the Pit of Sarlacc. (don’tcha see that big grasping maw there, right in the midst of the Hirsuite Hero?)

    1. I was trying not to see that. Now I wanna see Boba Fett with a bandolier of concussion grenades to our rescue.

  4. Wait, I thought everybody masturbated in the kitchen sink. Makes clean-up a breeze and post-coital snacking easy-peasy. (Don’t worry, public hair doesn’t get stuck in the garbage disposal.)

  5. From the lengthy blurb:
    “As he was brushing his teeth, he was abducted to a different verse because they thought he was their respected advocate.”

    What sort of verse did he get abducted to? Part of a song or a poem?
    Why did he lie in the sink to brush his teeth with the TV remote control?

    1. Oh, damn you David, you got me reading the blurb.
      So, before taking his own life, he decided to brush his teeth. Cos, like, you wouldn’t want to be dead with grimy gnashers.
      “He has to stop an unstoppable force.” Well, er.
      “A female warrior has to train him.” Why? What are the male ones doing? Do the alien abductors not have any robotic/AI or self-training programmes either?
      What is a “geek motif” and can I get one printed on a t-shirt?
      “Why did you do a fiction book about a serious subject?” Because NOBODY’s ever done that before. #tokillamockingbird #theboyinthestripedpyjamas #thehandmaidstale #nineteeneightyfour

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