Ask Me Anything: A Memoir

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Ask Me Anything: A Memoir

There is no filter which can make a bad photo good.

 

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Viergacht
Viergacht
9 years ago

Cripes, that looks like a creepypasta.

john e. . .
9 years ago

What kind of camera is that?

Are you an octogenarian?

What’s the square root of -1?

You look bald – how did you lose your hair?

Do you remember dinosaurs?

Have you met my grandpa in heaven?

What is your favorite memory of the Civil War?

Why do witches burn?

Can I have some more, please?

Is Susan Marg your granddaughter?

Did you have to pay her to work on this memoir?

How much?

Is god a dog? It would explain a lot.

Will I ever have a date this century?

Can you please explain quantum physics to me?

Why are kittens so cute?

Don’t you think it’s a shame Michael Jackson isn’t going to outlive you?

How tall is the chrysler building?

Are the time police ever late?

Will you answer my questions?

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

The brand new Espilon Filteriffic!

Dodecahedgenarian actually.

The fabled Imaginary Unit!

Rickets.

My best friend growing up, Sparky was half ankylosaurus.

Now, where was I? The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt.

Gaius Cassius Longinus and I used to get into some crazy hijynx. Of course, back then they called Hijynx Shenanigans!

They are made of wood, filled with Demon juice, and lack any Jesus! You do the math!

Not until you finish what you got!

Which was the style at the time. Of course, back then we didn’t have white onions.

Just those big yellow ones! Cost you a whole quarter.

Didn’t I just say that? or was that about onions? Regardless, back then nickles used to have pictures of bees on them.

Give me five bees for a quarter, you used to say.

A date? With that attitude?

Quantum mechanics (QM; also known as quantum physics, or quantum theory) is a branch of physics which deals with physical phenomena at nanoscopic scales where the action is on the order of the Planck constant. It departs from classical mechanics primarily at the quantum realm of atomic and subatomic length scales. Quantum mechanics provides a mathematical description of much of the dual particle-like and wave-like behavior and interactions of energy and matter. Quantum mechanics provides a substantially useful framework for many features of the modern periodic table of elements including the behavior of atoms during chemical bonding and has played a significant role in the development of many modern technologies. Kids…

They are made of toilet paper, filled with mouse juice, and lack any Satan! You do the math!

Who the devil is Micheal Whozitiz? Kids today with their music, and their ball-in-a-cups…

So I decided to take the ferry, cause I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I headed on down to Morganville.

Which is what they used to call Shelbyville in those days. Now, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt.

No, but I personally had more fun than was really necessary doing so.

john e. . .
9 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

Gracías, Señor Waffles!

Take Cover
Take Cover
9 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

Nice double act, guys!

DED
DED
9 years ago
Reply to  Take Cover

Agreed. 🙂

Waffles
Waffles
9 years ago
Reply to  john e. . .

No thank you for a great jumping off point Mr. E!

Ericb
Ericb
9 years ago

I’m getting a “get off my lawn” vibe from this cover.

Karl
Karl
9 years ago

Lemme ask you this:

WTF is “The Fruitcake Lady”? A second subtitle? A third author? Just some random text that appeared in the graphic for no reason known to man? Seriously, I want to know!!!

Sneaky Burrito
9 years ago
Reply to  Karl

I think she used to be part of a segment on The Tonight Show (Leno version). (Authentic old lady who gave advice in response to audience questions.)

Sneaky Burrito
9 years ago
Reply to  Sneaky Burrito

And I think that is an actual picture of her, passed through about 25 Photoshop filters.

Tia
Tia
9 years ago
Reply to  Sneaky Burrito

Yep, she was hilarious! Shame there were no decent images available that could have been used for this cover.

Rob
Rob
9 years ago

“I’m melting, I’m melting….”

Take Cover
Take Cover
9 years ago

I don’t so much mind the image. The text floating around at the top though… good grief, could it be more wrong?