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Oh, look, another message from Gertrude.

Another message from our favorite fake attorney.

To Whom it May Concern:

Please be advised that the book cover you have posted in the URL below must be removed within 72 hours:


‘The Hitman’

My clients – well-known Hollywood film celebrities, would like the cover immediately removed from lousybookcovers.com as it depicts them when they were young and just starting out.  Permission was never granted with regards to the use of their likeness.

As such, you have 72 hours to remove this cover from lousybookcovers.com or this office will take action.


Gertrude Silverstein

Because obviously “Gertrude” isn’t listening to me, I didn’t point out that:

  1. She’s not claiming to legally represent any named entities, thus giving her the right to make demands in their behalf (she doesn’t even put “Esq.” on her name).
  2. But that’s okay, because there’s no “Gertrude Silverstein” listed as an attorney anywhere in the United States anyway.
  3. The cover for The Hitman: Inseparable (the only “Hitman” title on LBC) does not contain any “well-known celebrities.”  It does contain a couple of stock models, including one (the male) that I recognize from a bunch of other covers.  Obviously, as Gertrude doesn’t specify who they are, or if she represents one or both.
  4. Whether they were “young and just starting out” is irrelevant. What would be relevant is whether they signed an appropriate model release with the photographer, who then appropriately licensed it to a stock photo service, who then appropriately licensed it to the ebook publisher.  It’s hard to establish that “permission was never granted” when you don’t even name the clients who supposedly never granted that permission, or who they supposedly didn’t grant it to.
  5. Again, I have no idea what “this office” is, or what action they hope to take. There’s no reference of a particular attorney’s office, or where they’re located, or where the attorney is admitted to the bar, or…
  6. (Or, alternatively, 2a.) While googling “gertrude silverstein attorney” didn’t yield any evidence of legitimacy, it did lead me to one of those “complain about unsolicited phone calls” sites, where someone reported that a caller identifying her as “Gertrude Stein” called, alleged an impending lawsuit, and asked for a credit card number.

But, as I said, “Gertrude” obviously isn’t listening.  So my actual reply was:

We’ve been through this before. Peddle your fake-attorney bullshit somewhere else.


  1. Even more to the point, this site displays book covers as published. It’s not your place to check the legal credentials of each cover. If copyright issues arise, they would need to be taken up with the designer or publisher.

    And that’s assuming the letter is actually from a legal representative!

  2. Dear Gertrude,

    I am saddened that your clients cannot afford better representation, and am quite frankly astounded to discover that well-known Hollywood film celebrities could ever do anything they might be ashamed of.

    I hope the woman’s neck returns to normal someday. I enjoyed seeing her in E.T.

    etc., etc.

  3. I am reminded again of the 1940 Tacoma Narrows Bridge disaster.
    Also known as “Galloping Gertie”.

  4. OK I looked. 11 Apr 2017 http://lousybookcovers.com/?p=1109398
    If I, an insufferably self-important movie buff, cannot recognize those “celebrities” from that cover, how does posting it affect them? Perhaps the “Streisand Effect” ought be explained to attorney Gertrude Silverst….
    Oh, no! This is the Gertrude Silverstein who so competently litigated the famous Stump Hump Affair and takedown notice:
    4 Mar 2017 http://lousybookcovers.com/?p=1057973
    21 Aug 2014 http://lousybookcovers.com/?p=11416

      1. What slays me is that Burrtrude Silverstein doesn’t seem to have the normal lawyer mindset–which is, don’t throw good money after bad. Given that her first attempt achieved ABSOLUTELY nothing, why would she think that she’d be any more successful now?

        Nathan, I confess, I am half-tempted to lend you my IP counsel. And have a REAL attorney answer Burrtrude. Of course, replies probably go to a non-existent Gmail account.

        (FYI, I have some guy right now, claiming that because HE can’t figure out, despite hours and hours of instructions, videos, etc. how to open the eBooks that we made for him, he’s getting legal advice from his credit-card company’s legal and tech team. Yeeeeeeeeeeeright.)

        Nothing more amusing than some guy claiming that he has an attorney doing X, trying to threaten someone who spent 3 decades running a litigation division. Sure, pal. 🙂

  5. Gertrude got her law license from a gumball machine at the mall.

    On the other hand, if she’s the author of any of these books, clearly no one here will be reading them because she sucks at making sh!t up and has serious difficulty with believable details. So, your honor, in summary, she sucks as an attorney, designer, and writer. Hang up your pc, Gert, you’re only succeeding at failing.

  6. Huh. When she showed up the first time I assumed she was the author of Stump Hump trying to purge an embarrassing old shame from the internet. But now she’s back to challenge an entry for a completely different book by a different author (and The Hitman’s cover was bad, but for my money nowhere near the monstrosity that was Stump Hump).

    I’m trying to find the common denominator here. Who is this person and what is her connection with these two particular books? Is she a fake lawyer for hire whom both authors happened to contact? I’m going to be wondering about this all night…

  7. I think she must be the author. Using pen names of course, none of which are any more real than her “attorney” name. Makes me wonder what else is out there to be found. She just doesn’t like her books ending up on this website named “Lousy Book Covers”, that’s all.

    1. I just noticed the letter is addressed “To Whom it May Concern”. A lawyer that can’t be bothered to figure out the name of the site owner she is threatening to sue doesn’t seem very competent to me. Can it even be a legal notice if it doesn’t include the name of the person being threatened?

  8. And for the second day running:
    Five Top Posts & Pages
    #1 Oh, look, another message from Gertrude
    #2 The Hitman: Inseparable

      1. Nah. He’s in his mother’s basement having a moment of “personal relaxation”. Oh excuse me. That would be “personal, relaxation,”.

        1. No, that would be:

          Hes, in his mothers, basement, having a moment of personal, relaxation.
          A burning moment,
          never more found
          brain goes round.


  9. sorry, hit “post” too soon. Sounds to me like s/he is just a scam artist flinging poo madly in all directions, hoping to score a bullseye sooner or later.

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